Can you deal with confrontation / How

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Wow second post here I am on fire.. some answer on my first post led to this question here. How do you deal with confrontation? Example someone having an opinion that you strongly disagree with, someone telling you that you do wrong, people arguing about something with you.. How do you deal with it? I personally can't, I start panicking, I start crying, terrible melt down at the slightest sign of confrontation ( main reason why I don't go on forums I'm really hoping this one isn't like this or else I'll leave.

I would appreciate tips and tricks since my doctor don't know how to help on this issue/we're dealing on some more ' important ' stuff as they say.

Think of it as chess match. If you find people having "beefs" with you a lot, just anticipate reaction sets and have responses ready.

Examples
1. I'm a reasonable and non-violent person.
2. We both have a right to our opinion.
3. I didn't personally attack your character, so please don't attack mine
4. If I'm bothering you, I'm sorry. But please let me know before lashing out.
5. (Don't lie) If I'm telling you something, it's because it's true, and I can prove it. So I wasn't actually arguing.

People who are reasonable will accept these statements those who aren't will likely stop communicating with you.

No love lost, I say. If a bridge burns, look for another.

1/ Don't see it as an confrontation but as an opportunity.
2/ You keep your objectives in mind and know the objective and interest of the other person.
2/ Consider every idea coming up seriously, even if it seems to you that it is coming from unwillingness.
4/ Something is going to happen and none of you know the result. The result of the meeting will come out of active listening to each other and will to understand.
5/ When you are not sure, don't say anything, ask questions or say you need time to think about it because it is important to you.

State of mind is the most important. Peace and love.

(train, try things, learn from your mistakes)

I don't do confrontation very well. I have a social anxiety about it actually. I think it stems back from a time in my childhood, when I was 5, when I accidentally pulled the chair away when the teacher's assistant was about to sit down, and she fell on to the floor, and the class teacher shouted at me so loudly that the whole class went quiet, and I was really frightened because I did not do it on purpose, but I was made to believe that I did, and being only 5 I could not stand up for myself to adults. The teacher shouting at me was rather traumatic for me, and also embarrassing.

I think that has made me develop a fear of confrontation. I get really tearful when someone in authority yells at me - especially if I haven't done anything to deserve it. Last year at work I got yelled at by my boss for something I had not done, and when I tried to explain that it was not me, she made me out to be a liar and said that it was me. I got so angry that I walked away, went into the staff canteen and cried and cried. Two of my coworkers walked in and asked what was wrong, and I was so livid that I kicked things as I was explaining what the boss had said to me, and I couldn't stop crying. I know it looks really weak to behave like that after being yelled at by your boss, but the confrontation just got to me, and I couldn't handle it, plus I was angry that she didn't believe me, which would make most people angry.

<--- Whimpers, puts his tail between his legs, backs away slowly, the turns and hauls a**.

I am not a violent person, far from it in fact. But if I feel threatened, I will fight back.

It really depends on who is confronting me and what for, generally I avoid confrontation but I don't shy away when somebody comes at me. Maybe it's just where I came from and how I dealt with the rough environment but growing up I always subscribed to theory if somebody hits me I should hit them back harder, if they said something mean to me I should say something meaner back, throw something at me I throw it back, sort of eye for an eye.

When someone tells me I did something wrong, I always get really upset and get defensive.

Me too.

It depends on the situation. If the person is angry and clearly in a blind rage, then I just try to leave them alone and get out of the situation as soon as possible. But if it's something that I'm doing, then I ask what I'm doing wrong so I can correct it in the future.

I'm not very good with disagreements, though.

I do this a lot too.

Do you know "aikido"?

The founer of this impressive combative sport, Morihei Ueshiba, is a Japanese who has lived war atrocities.
His desire of peace were so high that he imagined a new combative sport where you never attack but you use strength of the enemy who is trying to fight you:
- If the enemy stops attacking, there is peace.
- If the enemy wants war, you redirect the enemy's attacks so that the enemy is defeated from it's own anger.

Morihei Ueshiba showed this way that desire of peace is stronger than strength of anger.

I can't. I become very quickly panicked and overwhelmed. I tend to avoid all the conflictual situations.

No, I do not.