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Shirokitty
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29 Jan 2016, 7:52 pm

I get the feeling that people around me think I'm stupid. Sometimes they literally call me stupid, while other times they'll make remarks that indicate they think I'm stupid. A nice recurring one is "That's Shiro for you," whenever I'm slow to pick up on something. They also seem genuinely surprised when I say something "smart."

Is anyone here able to relate?



Yigeren
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29 Jan 2016, 8:07 pm

Yes they do! But only those who don't know me. I think I just look and act clueless. Then I say something intelligent and they are shocked at the amount of knowledge I possess.

"How do you know that?"
"You're like a walking encyclopedia."
"You mean you remember all this just from reading about it last night?"

It totally blows people's minds that I'm not a complete idiot. Their compliments are actually insulting, because of the amount of surprise involved. That's just my own bitter interpretation, though.



Raleigh
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29 Jan 2016, 8:18 pm

Oh, yes, all the time.
I have a lot of trouble with verbal communication so people assume I'm slow and stupid.
I've been told by people all through my life that I'm stupid.
My mother was (and still is) the worst offender.

Stoopid people.


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29 Jan 2016, 8:22 pm

Show these people your art.



Dennis Prichard
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29 Jan 2016, 8:30 pm

People just think I'm smug when I talk with my flowery sentence constructions.

People actually like to be around someone they think is stupid its good for their self-esteem.


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29 Jan 2016, 8:33 pm

Shirokitty wrote:
Do people think you're stupid?
Only when I follow the rules. There is something about it that inspires contempt in those who think of themselves as "smart" for engaging in disruptive activity and disrespecting those in authority.


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Aspie202
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29 Jan 2016, 8:35 pm

Some think I'm crazy.


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zkydz
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29 Jan 2016, 8:38 pm

I don't know. Mostly I get the "You're too smart to do that" or, "You know better than that."

So for me, it's the opposite most times. And, when they come to me because I did such a good job on that thing nobody else could do and they have something simple that just stops me cold, they get pissed. I don't know why. I have never figured why someone would get pissed when you just can't do something.

I just don't get people.....


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Edenthiel
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29 Jan 2016, 8:39 pm

I get that a lot, especially at work. Mostly because I,

a) "lose" words
b) am thinking deeply about something else & can't switch immediately
c) can't follow their speech if there's background sounds
d) need hints to remember what they're referring to b/c I remember things differently
e) tend to just wait for them to keep talking, probably with a blank expression

Luckily, my coworkers know me and we tend to compensate for each other's shortcomings. It's usually the people from other departments or strangers outside of work who think I'm 'stupid', at least until they spend enough time with me. It used to hurt my pride, but I no longer really care all that much.


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darkphantomx1
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29 Jan 2016, 8:43 pm

That's just because we judge on appearance and first impressions all the time, it's human nature. It's sad but true.

My second cousin who's also autistic and a year younger is short, fat, kind of dirty looking and has a weird voice and an awkward looking gait which makes him appear "special" People judge him all the time to be more stupid and impaired than he actually is, my dad who barely knows him once said that he's going to be a janitor for the rest of his life because that's all he's capable of. He's actually a lot smarter and more capable than he looks and unlike a lot of autistics, he's a go-getter and self-initiator. Is he a genius? No, but he's definitely no idiot. We're not really buddies since he comes off as cocky and likes to boast, he's pretty nice though he just doesn't realize that sometimes what he says can offend some people. Of course I have my problems as well.



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29 Jan 2016, 9:10 pm

Edenthiel wrote:
a) "lose" words
It was when I heard myself doing a recording of something, and I was trying to give instructions to my wife. When I heard it, I found all the dropped words and such that I swore was in there. That was the beginning of the wake up call.
Edenthiel wrote:
b) am thinking deeply about something else & can't switch immediately
Was actually told once to pay attention because I was being talked to. Now, in all fairness, I do zone out sometimes when I'm solving a problem. And, I too can't switch quickly from deep thought to anything else.
Edenthiel wrote:
d) need hints to remember what they're referring to b/c I remember things differently
I get lost in conversations. Not sure why. Maybe because I find most of what they talk about boring. And, I have no chit chat skills so that doesn't help.


Edenthiel wrote:
e) tend to just wait for them to keep talking, probably with a blank expression
I've heard "Earth to Zkydz" more times than I can count. It's when I get the finger snaps with it that I get annoyed. But, it has taken that to shake me out of my zone.


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AspieAlphys28
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29 Jan 2016, 9:29 pm

YES!! !! !! ugh i hate it... today in math class i was wearing my (broken! not working!) headphones because that class send me into overload like, always.. the teachers voices are babyish and the class is too loud, its much better for me to just muffle out the sound with my headphones. i have 2 math teachers in that class. teacher 1 came up, tapped on my headphones (which is like being a fish inside of a fishbowl thats being tapped on) and asked me to take them off. irritated, i said that i wasnt listening to anything and that they were helping me concentrate. she smiled all pity-like and patted me on the shoulder (unwanted body contact!!) and i figured that was done. teacher 2 was in front of the class teaching when she stops, looks at me and says in her stupid kindergarten teacher voice, "excuse me ray! can you please take off your headphones so you can pay attention to the lesson!" and teacher 1 says! very loudly! "oh dont worry teacher 2 she isnt listening to anything on there!!" and so many kids turned around and stared at me they all thought i was stupid and my teacher made it look like i was getting special treatment because im dumb..... also i dont like when people call me she, i also hate being treated like a baby....... :?

sorry that was unnecessarily long...


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zkydz
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29 Jan 2016, 9:40 pm

AspieAlphys28 wrote:
YES!! ! ! ! ! ugh i hate it... today in math class i was wearing my (broken! not working!) headphones because that class send me into overload like, always.. the teachers voices are babyish and the class is too loud, its much better for me to just muffle out the sound with my headphones. i have 2 math teachers in that class. teacher 1 came up, tapped on my headphones (which is like being a fish inside of a fishbowl thats being tapped on) and asked me to take them off. irritated, i said that i wasnt listening to anything and that they were helping me concentrate. she smiled all pity-like and patted me on the shoulder (unwanted body contact!!) and i figured that was done. teacher 2 was in front of the class teaching when she stops, looks at me and says in her stupid kindergarten teacher voice, "excuse me ray! can you please take off your headphones so you can pay attention to the lesson!" and teacher 1 says! very loudly! "oh dont worry teacher 2 she isnt listening to anything on there!!" and so many kids turned around and stared at me they all thought i was stupid and my teacher made it look like i was getting special treatment because im dumb..... also i dont like when people call me she, i also hate being treated like a baby....... :?

sorry that was unnecessarily long...
Not unnecessarily long. But if you don't want to be 'she' what would you prefer? Will they not recognize that?


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Edenthiel
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29 Jan 2016, 9:46 pm

AspieAlphys28, it sounds like they were trying (together!) to 'other' you and force you to conform to their expectations of who/what a student in their class should be. That's...horrible, disrespectful and controlling; hardly an environment for learning. I'm feel bad that they treated you that way. :(


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zkydz
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29 Jan 2016, 9:59 pm

Edenthiel wrote:
AspieAlphys28, it sounds like they were trying (together!) to 'other' you and force you to conform to their expectations of who/what a student in their class should be. That's...horrible, disrespectful and controlling; hardly an environment for learning. I'm feel bad that they treated you that way. :(
I don't know what that means to 'other' somebody.

But I did ask because it seems to me that it is strange in this day and age that AspieAlphys28 can't be referred to in the way requested.


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Edenthiel
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29 Jan 2016, 10:48 pm

To 'other' someone means to intentionally make them stand out as not belonging, often because they don't conform to some arbitrary standard of perfection. It's a social signal to everyone else in the group that the person being othered is not to be accepted & typically also that they are inferior.


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