I don't really like this website...

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We never met, but I hope you find a website that fits.

I'm one of those you can't relate to, because I'm still figuring out if I'm autistic. I had a lot of issues when I was younger, but I've learned to cope. I really didn't have much choice. My options were either learn to blend in or rot away in my bedroom until my parents die, at which point I'd probably die homeless on the streets. If that makes me "less autistic" then, well, okay. I'm well aware autism is a spectrum and I'm definitely high functioning if I'm on it.

I can't say I feel a need to "validate" my autism, but I will admit I hope autism is my problem. If it's not, then that means I have some other issue I need to figure out. Autism would explain a lot about my life, whether it's being seen as a freak when I was a child or my tendency to ruin any friendships I manage to make.

However, unlike some others I don't take offense to your statement. I understand perfectly that someone with more severe autism will be unable to relate.

I'd have to say that it's a bit insulting to view us this way. It's a real pisser to be told your the odd one in the world all your life.

Now to be told I'm the odd one amongst the odd ones.

Good luck with your endeavors. Keep up the art. You may find something transcendent in it.

I'm one of the ones without an official diagnosis on a piece of paper...but for the record: I have been working with my son's behavioral therapist, a psychologist experienced with autism. Later I also began to see her as a patient myself. She has not pushed me to get a diagnosis on paper because for complicated reasons it would probably make some aspects of my life more difficult. But she has said, off the record, that for her therapy purposes she works with me as a high functioning autistic individual because that has been the most successful approach when working with me. She sees enough traits that even without running all the official tests, she considers me to be HFA.

So I too take it rather as an insult to my intelligence that there is a hangup over who has the official piece of paper or not. I do not want to go into my reasons why I do not want an official diagnosis following me on my medical records. But I don't. There are times when autistic individuals don't want that, and that doesn't make them any less autistic. This is not just some flavor of the month club that I have decided that I am autistic today but I might have the mumps tomorrow. anyway, I am not trying to be mean but that is where I am coming from.

I do like a lot of the people on this forum. I don't like the forum itself. I am autistic--the nature of some of my symptoms make forums, even online ones, difficult. To read a bunch of thread titles and pick ones I might be able to contribute to is sensory overload. I also have issues with compulsively checking the computer at times--I sometimes need to just walk away from it and stay away for a long time to break the cycle. I will probably disappear at some point, when it gets too exhausting but if anyone wants to stay in touch without going through WP, let me know via pm.

I really think it's best to give people the benefit of the doubt.

It's not like something is really gained by claiming you're autistic when you're not.

And remember: you don't HAVE to be autistic to be a member in good standing of WP.

Alex, et al, doesn't require you to produce that piece of diagnostic paper.

I take everyone here who thinks that they may have autism seriously. I was only just diagnosed myself.

The person who evaluated me specializes in ASD and used all the official "gold standard" tests for the diagnosis, so it's not as if I just went to some clueless therapist and demanded that they diagnose me with autism.

A lot of the adults here weren't able to be diagnosed as children, either because the understanding of autism at the time was very limited, or because they somehow "flew under the radar" and/or were misdiagnosed.

I think most of those here who are undiagnosed are just looking for answers because they know that something isn't right. Probably some of them aren't autistic, but that isn't my business to decide. If they are having symptoms similar to those of autism, then they probably share a lot of the same problems that the rest of us do, anyway.

I took it that ZombieBride is 18 and trying to start her adult life and focus on that rather than diagnosis related issues for herself right now. I have enjoyed her posts.

Just what we need. Another not-autistic-enough, I'm more autistic than you, going to hang around with "real" autistics post.
Nothing is so simplistic, especially when dealing with autism. I don't know where you've been reading, but there are plenty of posts, and whole forums, dedicated to people having difficulties with, and trying to find ways to function properly, in the very areas you describe.
I also never really understand the leaving announcement posts. If the site isn't helpful to you, then logically you don't have to read / participate. You can just go elsewhere. Why specifically announce it?

I had something brilliant written out the other day.

Im one of those people who is just discovering who I am. At 38. I recognise now I've muddled through life somehow and things don't quite fit. I don't know why they don't fit.

But the last thing I ever wanted to be is a fraud, a fake, someone pretending to be something Im not.

Hopefully I haven't given the impression that Im identifying as something when I don't know whether I do fit that label or not. All I know is I've got to a position in my life where Im looking to find more, get some answers. Aspergers sounds like it might be a fit. But I don't know.

That's where people like ZombieBride and all the other people who make up these communities are so invaluable, because people on the border can come to explore and engage and try to learn and understand whether this might be something worth exploring. I've been to my GP to try and talk about it, but I feel embarrassed, I feel foolish, stupid, a fraud, a fake. Because I don't know.

Perhaps the forum would benefit with a "Seekers" group. I don't know if other people who are seeking answers want to identify as autistic without a firm diagnosis?

I like you, Zombie Bride. I hope you come back

I feel that you're frustrated. You want to do better--but you feel stymied by certain things which you sees as being out of your control.

Ironically, your very frustration has enabled you to learn things about autism, and to be in a better position than previously to help people on this Site who share your frustration. Indeed, there are people on this Site who have various levels of functioning--yet who feel some of your frustations.

Are there services for autism in your location? Perhaps, you could, if you so desire, volunteer at one of these autism services locations.

Zombiebride should be free to make a post saying goodbye. Maybe it wasn't the best phrasing, but I read it as a goodbye and a reason. Not a slam on WP or the members.

I hope ZombieBride pursues the art. Went to the deviant art page link on the thread signature once and there is some good things there.