Who apart from has pretended to be NT

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I spent most of my elementary school years getting shoved around for being different. My first year of high school I tried really hard to fit in; so yeah, I tried really really hard to be NT.

At this point, I do have to hide it to some extent. With teachers or strangers I tend to be a little bit rude, giving short answers and I come off as a bit of a jerk. With my friends, well, they don't know I have AS but they do know I'm somewhat eccentric. I don't need to hide it there.

I've spent enough time learning the NT ways, so now I very easily pass for an NT. I often make a joking statement that I am more normal than an NT!

My mother tried to train me in NT ways.
Some stuck...most didn't. I was too bloody minded to do as I was told.
I see no point in pretending anything now as I don't give a damn what anyone out there thinks.
They couldn't accept me as me, they aren't worth my time anyway.

Given that I only recently learned what NT meant, I can't say I consciously attempted to copy those mannerisms. I do remember trying to fit in sometimes (without much success) until in the end I just said "screw it" and started ignoring them.

sounds VERY familiar

I really didn't TRY to be NT until I learned I was AS, which was when I was 56.

Now, I study others around me like I am preparing for any dramatic role in a play or film and am getting pretty good at inflecting my voice, pretending that I give a damn about social stuff I would have dismissed as unmitigated c**p before I knew that this was why I being thought 'odd'. I can hold my own in most any social situation now, (and that used to baffle me beyond belief!)

I now lose the frustration, I can stop the anger long before it becomes catastrophic, I can smile and nod and chatter with some of the best, knowing I can escape to my own mountian fastness of the Aspie Land that is my own apartment.
I can take mini-breaks, too, and stim my little heart out in the restroom booth, or read my current breaking political news ( my perseveration at the moment) and get a little peace that way too.

I really DON'T care what they think of me, I am just interested in keeping THEM comfortable around me so my less controlable behaviors are seen as charming and endearing. It is a lot of work, but hey, you gotta make a living some how.

Merle

I used to pretend to be NT when I was in public. I gave up pretending just recently.

I'm well behind the previous poster. Actually I've taken so long, my reference is probally to three posters back

I used to consciously copy styles of behaviour gleaned from movies/TV for all social situations, or from others around me, who seemed successful, and this worked up to a point (or if I had adopted the wrong characterization not at all) except where I was comfortable - anything to do with music, swimming or cubs/scouts (4 years in each so they got to know me quite well).

At work I basically buried my own character - not healthy as it was for 20 years straight- and became Mr. Anomaly - I worked hard and long, but had no social skills and no ambition, so was left well alone. Fine 'till open plan and team bonding/team meetings came into existence - then I became Mr Anonymous.

Since diagnosis, my therapist has been trying to get me to be "myself" someone I've generally tried to hide from the real world, and generally detested (me, not her) but from a point of no (if not negative if that is possible) self-esteem I am gradually working my way up, with her and indeed YOUR help.


Michaelmas

actually I would like to be able to pretend better. can somebody post a link to something that has rules or tips for pretending?

My NT mask,


I have a little secret I wear upon my face
I keep it very near to me in a most convenient place.
I hope you do not guess it, you might take me to task
I take it out and put it on, it's my "normal" NT mask!

It keeps the world from pressing in; it makes me look like you!
I wear it so easily you won’t believe that it's not true
I laugh and nod and make my mouth do what passes for a smile
I walk and talk and do the stuff that makes me rank and file.

But underneath the artifice, I am bored with all your talk.
Your gossip and your ‘he said-she said’; at all of this I balk!
You're constantly rattling on about the very least of things
your husband's warts, your baby's farts, your last romantic fling.

I’m sure it’s very interesting, and I tilt my head just so
I don’t want to be left out, so I put on the show.
After all should I decide to let my Aspie out?
I could bore you too, to TEARS, but thought of as a lout.

So when you’re on and on about the rights of "people of the pod*"
and force your strict conformity on politics, style, and God.
Mind games you play with no regard for innocence or youth
you're quick to point with fingers gnarled at what you see as 'Truth.’

But I bear it all with stoicism, and onward do I march
to keep lock step with all of you when inwardly I lurch
you rub me wrong, you irritate, you scrape my nerve ends raw
you constantly regale me with what you did and saw

So if I inwardly rebel against the draw of luck
and stifle yelling to your face, “you idiot! you suck!”
and out from the mask cracks the rebellion wells and oozes
pardon me, in the genetic crap shoot; you are the bunch of losers.



· (Pod people) obscure reference to “Invasion of the Body Snatchers” a black and white 1956 American Science Fiction Movie
· Poetic license, so shoot me!

original by Merle

*raises hand* Guilt as charged. I used to feel ashamed of myself but this world is rough and sometimes that's what you have to do in order to survive. Its like wearing a mask that hides who you really are and its always a relief to take that mask off at the end of the day.

I have attempted to act like I see "normal" people behave,to adopt a persona that I think will make my life easier,but it's never very believable and the dishonesty is a drain.

not me, my aspergers is pretty darn noticeable wich is why i dont really venture out into town

Can there really be such a thing as "pretending to be NT"? AS is a neurological quirk that (among other things) makes learning social skills difficult because someone with AS has great difficulty "reading" the non-verbal communication of other people (assuming they can do so at all). The social skills can be learned, but it's not easy, and some never manage it. Even those who do, seldom master them the way an NT does.

I'm not clear on what you mean? Do you mean that in public situations, you don't walk up to people and say, "I'm so and so, and I'm an aspie?"

Of course not.

There are people whom I share with on that level, but they are carefully chosen.

That's not a matter of hiding. It just wouldn't be "appropriate" conversation unless it were immediately relevant to the situation.

edit: Okay, looking at the other postings now, I really don't try to change my behavior much. I know that I annoy people sometimes, but at this station in life, most people who know me know what to expect, even though they might not have a label for it.

In education, being unusual is pretty well accepted, even by my students. My lit students like me because I'm a good actor and can create the "world" of a work for them. My developmental students like me because many of them have undiagnosed neurological coniditions, and, unlike some of my colleagues, they know that it doesn't bother me.

Last edited by Litguy on 27 May 2007, 6:11 pm, edited 1 time in total.