I don't know what to do.

Post Reply New Topic

In my most recent literature class, on tuesday, I had a complete mental shutdown/ breakdown/ anxiety attack/ whatever you want to call it. I was sweating heavily, I could not talk at all, I was shaking, I had a headache, and I did not absorb what other people were saying. I was looking down at my book even during a group activity. There was a full 100% disconnect between me and everybody else. I feel this was triggered by having to sit in an uncomfortable area of the room in which I am both in the front and have to turn around completely, in an enclosed desk, in order to see him. I did not feel comfortable to keep it short there. I have this same class tomarrow, on thursday, and I will probably have to sit in the same area once again. I seriously do not know what to do.

This wasn't all in my head either. The professor, for "some random reason", decided to have our after discussion at the opposite end of the room. It was obvious he noticed, hes never done this before. Everywhere close to me people looked away, everywhere further away people stared at me. I've never felt more uncomfortable, and i've had these anxiety attacks before in other classes during high school and college.

I feel physically sick even thinking about it. I don't want to return to my literature class tomarrow. I really need some advice here from some people, because I don't want to just skip a class for nothing, but i'm really not sure if I can show up and not have another mental breakdown, especially if I have to sit in the same spot. Please, someone just tell me what you would do in this scenario. The issue is even worse because I have three group members, and we have a group presentation due next tuesday, and I don't know their contact information, and am not sure how to get it. This is bugging me and I need some advice on the matter.

Try to get to the class earlier, so you could get the seat you want.

No no no, I can sit in the back easily when I get there. The issue is whe are asked to move into our presentation groups, which means I have to go wherever my group wants to go, which makes me highly uncomfortable.

I wish I had a solution for that one.

Do you take medication at all?

I have never taken a medication for anxiety and i'm not sure who to go to to get medication for anxiety.

I believe just a regular doctor can prescribe anxiolytics. Do you have a health clinic on campus? I had insurance through the college I went to and it was pretty easy to make appointments.

I take Xanax. People say it is addictive but I haven't had a problem with it myself. The think I had the most problem with it though is that all benzodiazepines mess with your vision while you are taking them and visual stimming is one of my most prevalent calming/blocking out stims. It makes it so I can't see thing in nearly the detail I used to.

I know how bad it is to be in a situation like that where you have to be looked at and not knowing where to look in return or how to be looked at. It's uncomfortable for NTs and overwhelming and petrifying for non-NTs. Unfortunately, I don't have any fabulous ideas to come with it except that over time it got better for me because I learned to crawl into my own mind and not think about the others in the room and to not feel the urge or wonder if I was supposed to make a face back at them like smile or something. I recommend breaks. Leave the room a few times. Does the professor always leave their door open during class? Stand outside the door so that the professor and classmates know you are paying attention. Does the professor know of your diagnosis or needs? Perhaps you can draw up the nerve to go see him before your next class and tell him what happened and how it affects you and tell him you need to leave the room a few times to get away from the people pressure but that you will stay just outside the door in order to still hear. If you feel the need, tell him that you know this is something that you will eventually have to somehow get used to and that you also know that part of that getting used to it is also taking care of yourself. It doesn't do you any good to get frozen and hardened and mute and shattered and the more that occurs before you make moves to interrupt it, it can become more permanent and harder to control because your brain learns it and follows the same routine every time you are in that situation. If you need to, also allow yourself one break to go into a bathroom where you can stim and move and shake and stretch your face or whatever in the privacy of a stall. Shake it off. Then go back to class.

I wish I had had the nerve and the knowledge to do this for myself but I felt too self-conscious and especially with moving or leaving the room I always felt so conspicuous. But looking back, I wish I had had the conviction and the self-respect and self-validity to handle myself this way.

I hope you find a solution.

This situation is why you need to meet with the disability program at your campus, and see if you can arrange to avoid group projects. But that takes some time, so in the short run, I think you should email your prof and explain the problem you are having. In nearly all cases, if contacted ahead of time, a professor will try their best to understand and help out. It's when you try to excuse yourself after the fact that you are likely to get resistance.

From your description I thought you must be talking about college, if you are still in high school that is a bit different and my advice might not make sense.

In addition to emailing your prof, also go as a walk-in to your campus health service or counseling center, and tell them what you've told us.

To get contacts, put your piece of paper on the table and say, "Hey, I need your contact information. I didn't get it before." If you want to do it without trying to talk, write Group Contacts at the top of the paper and "I didn't get these last time " or however you would like and pass it to the member nearest you. Hopefully he or she will get the message and pass it around.

I HAD THE EXACT SAME PROBLEM!

In my English class i had been Reading Perks of being a wallflower, When i got to the ending i had a panic attack, i thought it was an isolated case but everytime i read the book i would feel sick and start crying, i thought it was a PTSD attack due to the fact that in the end of the book we learn that the main character was molested by his aunt but my psychologist said its unlikely. the panic attacks continued everytime i entered my english class, my panic attacks got so bad i attempted suicide... i eventually just stopped going to school.

Never did figured out why i had panic attacks... still cant think about the book or characters.

Ah, I've had almost this exact issue before! In both high school and college. Back then I did very terrible things to cope and they were not beneficial in the long run.
I would REALLY NOT RECOMMEND skipping classes ever, unless you almost 100% commit to the idea of dropping the class and having that show up on your record (idk if you are past the drop add period or if your dean or academic advisor would pardon it so better to assume that it would show on your record than not).
When I skipped classes from anxiety and going non-verbal or physical illness I found it EXPONENTIALLY harder to show up the next time.It would break whatever little routine or habit I had formed for the class and with that gone- I was dead in the water basically......

In high school I just became a truant for certain classes. I would wander the halls in a daze and usually vomit in the bathroom because I was nervous at the thought of returning to class...
I skipped classes; that didn't help the situation or the grades.

How receptive is your professor?

If they are receptive/open (honestly though even if they aren't) I would recommend shooting them a short (that part is important so that you don't get anxious and hand-wring over writing a super detailed e-mail)e-mail tonight if possible before the next class if you can, explaining how you felt and why it would not be good for your mental health to sit in that place again. Again, keep it short, give your self a limit perhaps 4 sentences, what ever works for you.

The professor really should be keyed into the issue so they have an idea of what you are going through. They can't help or understand you if you don't explain.
I have failed classes because I was too petrified of talking to my professors. I wouldn't talk to anyone and that never helped me. NOT talking or NOT explaining is unhelpful.

Then your professor will probably (most likely) want to talk about this after or before class or during their office hours. If you can, take the opportunity to do this. Script out exactly (if this helps you) what you want and NEED to get across and what will help you in this situation. In this case I think it is very straight forward sitting in a less anxiety inducing way or area that makes you feel safer. It's an EASY FIX and you shouldn't feel ashamed or bothered or guilty about saying this to your professor. You should feel perfectly justified in asking this accommodation. It doesn't hurt anyone else to have this done- you are well within your rights to ask for this.

As far as asking your classmates I would say something straight to the point either before or after the class so you don't disrupt the classtime lecture or flow:
"Hey guys, I know that we are going to have to do some collaboration on this project coming up, and I really want to make sure that things go over well. I think it would be really helpful if we could swap contact info with each other. Here's a piece of paper- you can pass it around and write your info down." (and then I would pull a piece of paper out of my notebook or binder that was pre-done so that no one has to scramble and look awkward trying to get this contact sheet up or out and if you provide it then they can't make up an excuse about "not needing to have a piece of paper/ who cares" blah blah blah (translation: I'm lazy that sounds like work so I won't do it, but hey if you already did it for us then sure).

Another way that you can try and get around that if even that doesn't feel comfortable for you (and I would have never thought of this if someone hadn't told me...)ask the professor to distribute that information for you. He/She probably already had access to that information so they could draw up a class sheet with e-mails and then post it online or print out a master sheet.

OR you can get your phone out and say- hey I was hoping to get everyone's info for the project mind putting your info in? and then give them the phone to enter the info.

OR you can set up a google doc and give everyone access to it, and say- Hey I was thinking of doing a google doc so that we could brainstorm ideas on the go (the trick here is that people have to check it....) what's everyone's e-mail?

There are a couple of other ideas I could think up, but I guess this post is long enough.
PM me if this was at all helpful and you wanted to talk about it more? or reply here which ever.
I've dealt with this for a long long long waaay too long time un-medicated and those are a few of the strategies I've utilized up until now.
Hope this was at least a little bit helpful.

Sometimes anti-anxiety meds can be helpful. I was never allowed to take them I think they would have helped me a lot at that time, but that's another story for another day... I would recommend like others have of going to your schools health center and talking to the counseling people about the issue and then saying that you think using something for a little bit at least would help alleviate a lot of acute unnecessary stress until you find your self more capable of looking into other longer term solutions. (that is if they or you happen to be adverse to the idea of taking meds to calm yourself).

Aw, I'm so sorry that both you and the OP and myself had/have this problem It always gets me to realize that other people had as much trouble as I and some other people I know with such a preventable thing ....
I feel very strongly that such issues shouldn't prevent a person from going to or doing well in a class- such issues are NOT a reflection of their ability to complete the work or participate in the class in anyway, they just need help.

Outside of popping a pill, I have found there is not much I can do about it.
Getting plenty of sleep helps.
Staying hydrated helps.
Deep breathing helps.

If you seek meds to help, you might want to try one that has a short duration time like 0.5mg Xanax.
For me Xanax didn't have any noticeable side effects or needing to adjust to it. Xanax (Alprazolam) is one of several Benzodiazepines that are good for a quick fix to a sudden attack or pending attack. Docs however will probably try pushing a full time med on you like Zoloft or some other SSRI.

oSovereign, any progress or more thoughts on your situation?

I went to the class on thursday, and he decided to have class outside instead. Was significantly more relaxing being out in nature, but I can't help but wonder if he did this because of me or not. Either way doesn't matter, was alot less stressful and anxiety-filled. But I still feel I need a solution to these issues.