Dismantling and Reconstructing Stimming Processes?

Post Reply New Topic

Hi everyone,

I am a new member here, and, although some therapists have suggested I am the opposite of autistic, I consider myself in a way autistic and thought it would be a good idea to join... One way I relate to autism spectrum disorder is I constantly stim and have sensory processing disorder. I have been interested in educating myself on stimming, so that is why I am writing.

Has anyone ever tried to control their stims? Or create a system so you can avoid certain stims? Or found a way to stop stimming altogether?

When I was really little - I was probably only like five or six - I started seeing other people around me stimming, and I started doing it, which felt really good. I cracked my shoulders by whirling them counter-clockwise, my neck, and my knuckles, occasionally. I eventually started blinking, squinting, and moving my eyes frequently and flicking my fingers (I can't actually remember if I did that from when I was five/six-ish) and I actually stopped rocking around the age of ten, which was something I had been brought up doing from example, until I actually decided to start again. By the age of fourteen, I started coping by pulling, flattening, and pushing my fingers together, as well as by wriggling my nose. (Which a girl said I did like a bunny. Cute. ) Occasionally, I would crack my jaw, as well.

All of these stims, except for cracking my jaw and moving my fingers, have been stressful for me because they add social problems that I don't need. (I feel very very fortunate to be able to socialize sufficiently... I do not mean it like I am being careless or ignorant of social problems. Quite the opposite, actually. ) Each of them is also actually something I do ritualistic-ly and constantly. I imagine it is the difference between an actual stim and a tic or stretch...

The thing is, I stopped doing my stims about a year ago, because I wanted to disassemble myself and just kind of get inside and figure out how I could dismantle my issues and fix them all. Nice plan. Not. It feels like it has just been a slow and horrifically painful process. Everything has always felt like I am just shoving my nails into a pile of rust and scratching to no avail (sorry for the horrible imagery - TRIGGER WARNING!! !) I just like an autistic person, and have on several occasions lasting for weeks, lost my ability to use language and formulate sentences. [On a side note, I am really really sorry for those of you who have felt the rough pain of being autistic. It is a killer. I hope you know there is love for you. I hope people also find a cure soon.] I have a constant "unsnapped" "drowning in an unknown area of water" "out of control" "expecting rocks, but finding just rust" "nails on a chalk board" "Attached to everything and it's ripping my flesh open"feeling. I am in this feeling that I just can't get out of, but what I have realized is that it is what I was avoiding for many years by stimming and subconciously needing to deal with.

I have found stretching helps a lot. I also have a wilbarger brush that I occasionally use. I put pressure on my wrists by using rubber bands. They might actually be helpful for my neck or fingers or stomach or ankles as well, so I'm planning on exploring that. Does anyone here have any experiences of using rubber-bands for depressurizing effectively? I am considering doing some kind of martial arts, or taking up yoga or pilates to accommodate stretching and exercise simultaneously into my living routine. Does anyone have any suggestions on what kind of stretching helps get rid of this ever present "rust/chalkboard/skeleton ligments need to snap" feeling? That would be so helpful. [Writing this all out is very very helpful for me, as well, so thank you to everyone for the option to be able to post it here.] I would really benefit if someone could please suggest any sort of routine therapy that would get me to change this feeling.

Are there any socially acceptable ways to stim? Using a rubber band is one method I have... I'm currently inventing others. I am considering carrying around a jacket to put on when in motion, and water bottle cap that I can toy with for pressure release. I really am most comfortable and therefore looking for ways to control things outside of my own body. Are there any techniques other people have found helpful for making "stimming" outside the body?

Are there any effective stimming processes inside the body that would be helpful yet socially acceptable? Are there any that don't get in the way of writing on the keyboard and being physical and socializing? I am actually more interested in finding resources so that I can teach myself the effect different stims have on hormones and neurological aspects, since that is actually something I've heard of but haven't been able to successfully search for since. Personal experience and group discussions are always value-able for me, so I figure it should be okay if I open up a post on here.

Thanks!
-Kirbykid529

For the pressure you mention, I find a weighted vest quite helpful. It looks like a regular vest, but has pockets on the inside which contain weights, which provide beneficial proprioceptive ("body awareness") pressure. Weighted blankets can be used at home over the whole body for the same effect.

Jewelry can also be an effective stimming technique; they make spinner rings which look like regular jewelry, but which have a band on the outside that can be spun with the thumb or fingers. Fiddling with necklace chains also works well because it's something that a lot of people do. The same goes for keychain toys and other such small, imperceptible objects.

For myself, I never went in much for subtle stimming. My attitude is that it's my body and my mind, and I'm not hurting anyone else when I rock, flap, bounce, toe-walk, hum, or play with my rubber toys and plastic tangle, so why should they care when I do? Part of it is also an awareness thing. NTs are never going to become comfortable around autistic behaviour if we hide it, so I don't hide it. I want to see a day when we can be accepted for who we are, with our natural movements, interactions and behaviours not looked down upon as weird or abnormal.

(P.S., I know it was in the spirit of kindness, and I appreciate the effort, but a lot of autistics don't especially enjoy being told, "I feel sorry for you because you have autism". That makes it sound like a disease or a tragedy, and that's not the way we see it. Also, just so you're aware, a lot of us are against the idea of a cure, because we don't see our neurological wiring as something which needs to be fixed or removed, just accepted, as I highlighted above.)

And also, welcome to WP!

These are some great thoughts! Thank you very much, @StarTrekker. I am wondering if all my analyzing was a little pointless. It does give me confidence, though, having an idea of why I am acting like I am. I definitely am glad to hear your view on public stimming... I am guessing I will always stim publicly in a way, and that should be just fine. Also, thanks for remarking with the P.S., haha. I appreciate the heads up and am sorry to have expressed it so strongly. I will be sure not to express that in that way anymore. Thanks again!)