manifestation of autistic traits; internalization?

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hello. i've been researching autism lately, especially autistic girls (i'm a girl), and suspect that i might be autistic; however, i have some doubts, and i'd like to clear the matter up once and for all..

my therapist thinks that my anxiety is often something i am not conscious of because i stim all the time, and in a quite severe way (tearing skin off my lips). she believes that it distracts from the anxiety. do any of you experience this sort of thing? i am wondering if perhaps i don't realize that i am overstimulated most of the time because i'm always tearing skin, bouncing my leg, flapping my hand, etc. but when i focus on my surroundings, i do feel overwhelmed and, most of all, irritated

i don't generally have a difficult time interpreting idioms and such. i have always read A LOT and think that that might be the reason i have a good grasp on figurative language

i don't have meltdowns, although i used to? as a child. i'm unable to express emotions properly.. whenever i try to get them out, i sound detached and unaffected. i can't scream or yell or anything because i'm very caught up in the fact that that's inappropriate (i am especially wondering if other girls on here experience very intense and limiting concern for what is considered appropriate, which causes stress; guys are welcome to share, too, of course). but i do bang my head on walls and participate in other forms of self harm (which i don't recommend at all)

is any of this relatable? i feel that i might internalize a lot of autistic traits, but when i look inward to determine whether or not that's the case, i become confused. i would love any sort of response.. this is something i feel that i really need to discuss. thank you~

Welcome to WP, and thank you for sharing. I can't say that I experience that extreme stimming; I do tear skin off my lips something, but as more of a bad habit than a stim. For me, when I have a meltdown, I don't think about whether it's "appropriate" or not; it just happens. How are you in social situations?

i'm very quiet and relate to the mute aspect of autism, but i've been taking medication for anxiety and have struggled less with that lately. i still can't approach people and have a difficult time talking on the phone, etc. more because i don't know how to navigate those things than because of social anxiety, especially since i've been on the meds. i tend to be able to socialize with people i'm close to for short bursts of time, then am very tired and need to recharge. i simply don't have the attention span for socializing with strangers or acquaintances; i end up tuning out and feeling like i'm not present. sorry for typing a lot, and thank you for responding

No problem. It sounds to me like you may have autism.