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alisha
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13 Apr 2016, 3:05 pm

Sorry if this is the wrong place to post this but I'm just trying to find a place to talk about this with people who understand?

My child's dad's (not with him anymore) aunt is a psychologist of some kind (for children) and she has diagnosed me in her mind as high functioning autistic. She kinda told most of her family and so she thinks I'm an unfit parent or something. I don't know. Anyway, he told me about this a couple years ago and I've just been thinking about it ever since because I've grown up very different from everyone around me. Today I decided to look up 'female adult asperger's symptoms' and I got this huge list on a website and I happen to relate to every single thing listed. Is it possible that I just have all these things in common and have a lot of separate problems? (like the ones I've been diagnosed with such as chronic depression, bipolar disorder, ADD, IBS, etc) or does that mean that I'm pretty much autistic? It'd be easier to put one label on it than to have a list of things.. but if I try to discuss it with a friend or family member (especially my mom) nobody will listen. They instantly think of it as a negative thing and that I don't have it and I 'don't give myself enough credit'.

I'm 24 and married as of last year. Even finding this out undiagnosed...is there much left to do? Does it really even matter at this point?



BTDT
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13 Apr 2016, 3:23 pm

Depends where you live. In the UK it may make sense to get a diagnosis right now.

In the USA, you can easily spend $1500 on a diagnosis as your private insurance usually won't cover it--even if you are lucky enough to have a good private insurance policy. But, if your kid shows signs of autism, is common for the parents to be diagnosed when the kid is diagnosed.

http://autismwomensnetwork.org/motherho ... parenting/



alisha
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13 Apr 2016, 3:26 pm

I'm in the US... I have a child and he shows signs of it but he's already in programs where I think they said they thought he had autism for a while but then they said they don't think he does anymore so..idk.

I also don't have a job right now ... I plan on getting another soon but I know after a few months pass I'm just going to end up calling in sick a lot and then quitting like I do with every other job and I used to blame it on anxiety but maybe it's asperger's? ...



naturalplastic
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13 Apr 2016, 3:37 pm

At least three issues going on here.

1) Whether or not you have aspergers/high functioning autism

2) Whether or not its a "good" thing.

3) The legal ramifications of it for child custody.

About (1): if you can relate THAT closely to a long list of things on a website like that, and if a psychologist senses you have it then I would say that the odds are that you do have it. Though that psychologist inlaw lady maybe biased about three. I suspected I was an aspie, finnally took the expensive exhaustive test, and was finally dxd when I was over fifty.

About (2) those relatives are ignorant as heck to talk about aspergers/autism as being "bad". There is nothing bad about autism,nor about learning that your on the autism spectrum. Folks assume that autistic means being like the Rain Man, or worse. And it isnt. It can mean being like Bill Gates. Folks also assume that learning that you have aspergers/autism "must have been quite a blow to you!", when in fact if a person really is aspergian a diagnosis is usually a positive thing (you have already been suffering from it all your life but now for the first time you now what it is thats causing the suffering, so its an aha! moment).

About three: What are the legal ramifications of a divorced parent being diagnosed on child custody? That's a good question, and I dont know anything about that. Have never even thought about it before.

So I hope someone with legal expertise can join the thread, and say something about that.



alisha
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13 Apr 2016, 4:01 pm

Welp...I just typed this huge long thing and had to check a bot box and it deleted the whole thing. That's cool.



alisha
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13 Apr 2016, 4:02 pm

**Yes! the back button saved it xD

It's okay because there isn't any custody battle..at the moment. Because I'm not fighting for custody. We don't even have a legal thing going on. I just take him when I want/can. It is also a very complicated situation that isn't really worth getting into at the moment.

I mostly came here trying to seek an opportunity to feel a little normal for a minute.. because I strongly feel like I have this (Asperger's) and I feel like nobody is buying it. There are a lot of things that go on inside my head that nobody knows about.. Especially the stimming and repetitive rituals I have. Honestly, I'm surprised I never thought too deeply about those things until the past few years. It was so normal that I just didn't really compare mentally realizing other people didn't do those things. Maybe I did and I just don't remember. I have no idea. It is an 'aha' moment but also unsettling if everyone thinks I'm just coming up with BS or 'excuses' like my mom would say. She's had plenty of teachers approach her when I was in elementary, concerned about my behavior in school and she just shrugged them all off. I don't know why she is in such heavy denial about it.. I showed her the list and she didn't even read it. She glanced at the title and responded "I don't know about that" and just left it at that.. lol It's really frustrating. I tried talking to a friend about it and she just kept saying how awful of my ex's aunt to say that about me and that I don't give myself enough credit.. whatever that means. I know what she's saying but she obviously didn't listen. I told my other best friend a couple of times and he just says 'you can be whoever you want to be. people just like labels too much' so yeah...nobody listens to me. So I'm most likely just going to be keeping this to myself still for the rest of my life.

I am thankful for it in a way though if it is the reason why I can learn things so well sometimes. I can't really multitask as much as I'd like to but I have been teaching myself Korean and programming languages. I like producing music and developing games and such. It's super addicting. I'm not good at finishing things but I'm trying to work on that. I spend too much time on the computer, as my mom would say but it's the only thing I like to do. Working at Wendy's and Walmart and such...was just..awful. But I can't make money doing what I like to do..at least not yet. Maybe one day. I can't handle people..I wish I could find a job that was less face-to-face with people or communicating in anyway but I know it's unrealistic.

I guess my plan at the moment is to get by the best I can with jobs I can get... try not to call in sick all the time and quit all the time.. and slowly build up a collection of games and other things I can program and have them become a profitable source over time. Maybe that is also unrealistic but how do you live life without dreaming?