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Hi, my name is Laura. I'm a 35 year old woman from the Netherlands and this is my first post. My apologies if it's a little long and please ignore the grammar mistakes

I've been dealing with depressions for a very long time. I've been seeing different psychologists since I was 18 but I would always fall back. I even decided to have myself committed in 2012. I didn't work for me so I left after three months. After that I came in contact with a psychologist. She was the first I felt comfortable with and with the help of EMDR my depressions started to fade away. But I still felt so tired all the time. After about a year and a half she took another look at everything that we discussed and came to the conclusion that I was on the spectrum (she is certified to make the diagnosis btw). I started reading books and articles about autism, specifically about women with ASD and I recognized so much. I was kind of happy that I finally found out what was 'wrong' with me. The sessions with my psychologist ended and all was good.

Fast forward to 2016. Once again I had to call in sick at work again. I went to the doctor telling her it was like my brain was overflowing and it was wearing me out. She send me to the hospital to see if maybe I had ADD.
I had some sessions with a psychologist and psychiatrist and did some tests. This included an autism test.
So about two weeks ago I went back for the results. The psychologist told me the score on the autism test was very high, but he didn't think it was autism since I seem to able to make eye contact and because I'm very open and looking for human contact.
And now I'm confused . Yes I do make eye contact, but I don't really like it. And yes I want human contact, but moderate and preferably with one person at the time. Does that make me not autistic? Was my first diagnosis wrong?
The rapport contained a lot of factual errors and conclusions I didn't recognized at all. I have not had the chance to discuss this with the psychologist.

Does anyone of you have experience with conflicting diagnoses? What did you do with it?

Is the new psychologist actually do autism diagnosis like the previous one?

According to him he has a lot of experience with people with autism. But from what he is telling me it is mainly with people with the 'classical' form, those who basically can't live on their own and need help with nearly everything in life.

Hoi Laura, welkom hier.
Voor de Nederlandstaligen is er ook een topic hier op WP.

To continue with the subject of the discussion (in English):

As you said yourself, autism is on a spectrum. You can have certain symptoms or behaviours linked with autism, but it does not have to be 'complete autism' It does not have to be classic autism also.

Also the diagnosis can be a bit off when you have other 'issues' as well, like ADD, ADHD or depressions. And diagnosis with things like autism is not an exact science. The problems you have can change over time and sometimes are masked by coping mechanisms.

In my case the diagnosis was wrong at first and I took some professors to make a proper diagnosis at PDD-NOS (Aspergers was not really known back then).

Hello and welcome! I hope you stick around, if you do you will hopefully see that many autistics do crave human and social contact - some of us are just really dysfunctional at it, for various reasons!

" he didn't think it was autism since I seem to able to make eye contact and because I'm very open and looking for human contact. "

That's one of the really frustrating things about assessments. As a group they are amazingly, stupendously subjective. To actually be accurate they depend highly on the person having enough experience with the full range of autistics. Unfortunately many seem to only have experience with the subset they encountered in their training or the ones that are their personal specialty. Anyone else in their eyes is "not really autistic". Which of course sets the autistic up for failure if the correct causes of their problems are not recognized.

However, even if someone is not diagnosed with autism, most of the issues that cause them difficulty can still be helped if they desire. Problem is, for many autistics this *must* be matched with an understanding that what they are learning are not solutions, they are mere workarounds and we sometimes must pay the price once we are alone or the event is over.

Hello! I, too, have suffered from depression for around five years or more. Having autism doesn't mean that you can't make eye contact or can't be social. I, too, prefer to interact with only one person at a time, though I mainly get by just by being friendly. I would rather not make eye contact with anyone, though.

My previous therapist, who seemed to have little experience with autism, told me that it didn't seem as if I had Asperger‘s when I brought it up. This was when I had first started to think that I may have an autism spectrum disorder, and began to do research. I was very discouraged, because it seemed as though the therapist thought that I was just researching things too much, and that I only believed that something was wrong with me. I knew that I was different from others from a very young age, but when I tried to explain that to my therapist, it wasn't taken seriously.

This therapist's beliefs and limited experiences with autism led her to decide that I couldn't be autistic (even though I almost never made eye contact) and that I must just be afraid to interact with people, and that my belief that I was different was just anxiety. All the really obvious signs were ignored (terrible eye contact, taking things literally, obsessions with certain subjects, noticing small details, fidgeting, etc), and so were my descriptions of symptoms like my sensory sensitivities.

So I did a lot of research over several months and took some online assessments. I wanted to be sure that I fit the criteria before I bothered to try to get an evaluation.

The tests that I took during my evaluation, questionnaires given to my parents, and the interviews all indicated that I have an autism spectrum disorder. So I was diagnosed, and I wasn't borderline, either. The tests results were pretty conclusive.

So just because one person with limited experience with higher-functioning adults with autism (and probably also females) decided that you can't be autistic, it doesn't mean that you aren't autistic. Some autistic people can make eye contact, and also many autistic people want human interaction. I do. It's just that most of us can only tolerate a small amount of socializing compared with "normal" people.

Thank you all for your replies. It looks like autism is still a difficult 'disorder' to diagnose. My psychologist is an older male, so perhaps he doesn't keep up with new developments in this field. I've been diagnosed with a lot of things, but they never seem to fit completely. This was the first time I felt like they finally figured it out. Even my mom said she wasn't surprised, it even crossed her mind a couple of times. And now it's all so uncertain again. And I hate uncertainty .

In a couple of years I will be losing my job because everything is going to be digital. We all get an outplacement mentor, and now I don't know if I can tell him I have autism. Because in that case he can take it into consideration when looking for a suitable new job. This uncertainty makes me so nervous

Mentioning autism can be difficult and can have unexpected consequences. It can also be used to 'dump' you sooner.
Since your autism seems 'light' (terrible expression, I know) it will probably be difficult to get a special status and help for that and protection from the law will be minimal. However, the choice is yours and it is good to talk with different people about this subject.

However you could take it into account with your wishes for work and personal characteristics:
For example that you like to work in quiet environment or like certain kinds of jobs, etc.
A good listener will know what you mean, but it is not out in the open.

Also try to expand your skill by following courses etc.

Asterisp I don't think they will dump me sooner. I'm usually not very confident but I am confident enough to say that I'm one of the better employees. My co-workers and boss know about my 'condition' and they are very supportive. So I'm not worried about losing the job sooner.
But you might be right that it's better to let the outplacement mentor know I need certain adjustments without saying outright I have autism.

BTDT: I have an office all to myself. That makes it a lot easier. Whenever it get's too loud in the hallway I close the door. Last month I decided to work 4 days instead of 5, that also gives a lot less stress.