Anyone accused of pretension due to extensive vocabulary?

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I feel this thread is going to be deeply ironic.

But anyways, I was on another forum for students and a user accused me of purposely using a thesaurus to look "intelligent" because I used the words "omnipresent" and "evanescent" to describe social/pop culture trends. The thing here is that this is how I usually type and speak. This is me all the time. I can't help that, right?

I honestly do not understand why I should be required to change my way of speaking and writing in order to be palatable for NTs when some of them speak in the incomprehensible "jargon" they call slang. Obviously, I do not think there is anything inherently wrong with speaking in slang, it is simply another mode of expressing one's thoughts.

So why is that acceptable but Aspies/people using extensive vocab is seen as pretentious and overbearing?
It is because it sounds verbose? I don't know.

I ran into this when I was about 10 , so I made sure to dumb it down when talking to most people.

Yes, I like the irony of the thread title.

It sounds like they thought you were trying to show off.

I used to think that using an extensive vocabulary would raise your grade in school. I also find that if I use uncommon words, then I'm more likely to remember what they mean, and it certainly helped me get better SAT/GRE test scores.

That said, if the goal is to be understood by the greatest amount of people, using everyday words generally works well. Sometimes, the more uncommon word is more precise, so I'd rather use that though. Or sometimes, the uncommon word comes to my mind first for some reason, so that's what you get.

It's the way things are . I used to speak and write in a very formal way and use "big words;" but that got me beat up in grade school. So I studied slang and colloquial expressions for several months until I could mimic them. Now I usually wait and observe how other people are speaking/writing in any given arena, in person or online, and then try to use similar language. People respond overwhelmingly more positively & I don't get accused of pretension.

You should be able to speak/write however you prefer, but the world is a strange place, and humans are strange creatures . Many people are insecure and will project all kinds of things upon you if they see you as different, or worse yet, if you seem "better" than they are - so many cannot tolerate that!

So it's really up to you - which is more important? Being accepted or being yourself? And of course that is a question to which the answer will be different depending on the circumstance, and on the outcome you are looking for at that moment.

For some reason, as a general rule it's okay in our society to be physically superior. Lauded, even. However, if someone shows signs of being mentally adept above average, they are immediately suspect. If they are also autistic and thus lack the ability to make up for that "flaw" they are outcast.

We've turned into a culture that has been taught via social learning to not value critical thought and intellectual prowess, either innate or trained. But beyond that, it has become somewhat suspect, even perhaps a quality to induce immediate distrust and wariness.

My guess is it comes down to the effects of unregulated capitalism, religion and democracy. Wonderful as they are, all of these are field ripe for intellectually abuse of people who are less intelligent than average. And the irony is that the people who've historically taught in subtle and overt ways that intellect is not to be trusted (the leaders of those three areas) tend to be above average and use their intellect in unethical ways.

Last edited by Edenthiel on 21 May 2016, 9:31 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I was about 20yo and people in the office kept asking me where I was from. I'm from exactly right here, never travelled. But they would insist that I didn't speak like everybody else. So I learned to speak like my sister-in-law, who spoke awful English. I used to practice it. People stopped asking.

^Edenthiel makes some excellent points about anti-intellectualism up there.

There is basically no defense against these beliefs but to assuage their insecurity by dissembling.

Last edited by arkatron on 22 May 2016, 12:21 am, edited 1 time in total.

I had no idea I was smart at the time . Grade school age. I did what came naturally which was use a lot of fancy words as well take an interest in advanced science. I tried to get neighborhood kids to join science and anthropology clubs I started. I was 11. I had no takers. I had better luck when I organized sports with the kids. I wasn't great at athletics but I did make a lot of the other kids happy by setting up games.

I have actually been accused of being a 'smart arse' or 'why do you use that word' but other people have also said I am very eloquent but I just use words that I think convey the most accurate and emotive version of what is bouncing around at the front of my mind.

I have never wasted mental energy concerning myself with whether the grunting neanderthals were having trouble following my train of thought, nor would I consider dumbing-down my communication for their benefit. If they can't keep up, f**k 'em. I spent a career in broadcasting and considered it my civic duty to educate the mass of dullards by forcing them to stretch their vocabularies. Maybe I am pretentious.

Right here on this site I've been informed that "having a large vocabulary is not necessarily a bad thing". The irony indeed...

I've also read reviews for Salman Rushdie or China Mieville where people seriously claimed that the author is using "complicated" words and phraseology in a deliberate attempt to show off their own superior intelligence and snob the reader

I have a strong dislike for reverse snobbery, particularly if matched with a heavy chip on the shoulder attitude.

I'm not a native speaker and I just avoid/ignore posters who consistently use abysmal grammar and terrible spelling (not talking about the occasional typo here) as I barely understand what they mean *shrug*.

Way to go, I remember a lot of excellent posts made when you were more active!

You are expected to adjust your speaking(intonation, pitch, vocabulary, formal/informal, etc.) based on the social context. You use a very playful, excited, and very limited vocabulary when speaking to children. You use a very formal, professional, and broad vocabulary when speaking at business meetings. You use swear words, slang, and very relaxed or casual speaking with your mates(friends).

Unless it is safe to assume otherwise, try to limit your vocabulary to more normal words.

Why do you have to change, but not them?
Society is like a machine. Individual parts need to have well-oiled interactions with other parts. All the parts need to be able to interact well with other parts; parts that are not functional will be rejected. You have the capacity to use more well-known words, choosing not to forces everybody reading/listening to look up the word. It is seen as inconsiderate and rude.

People assume you're attempting to appear intellectually superior because, from their perspective, it never occurs to them that someone doesn't understand context-dependent speaking. It's just common sense. Therefore, they assume you did it on purpose, and think you're trying to devalue them while boosting your own appearance.

Note: this is terribly written; tell me if something isn't clear and I'll try to elaborate...

Yes, yes and yes.

New Zealand culture is generally contemptuous of intellectuals, while the All Blacks (the rugby champions of the world who represent the nation's obsessive interest in this national game in which thuggery is a virtue) are held up as the models of human (not just sporting) excellence. Pioneer cultures are particularly known for anti-intellectualism (USA, Canada, Australia, New Zealand et al). If your gifts lie in language in one form or another you risk being accused by those who lack and despise those gifts of "showing off".. Take no notice. People who operate at that level aren't worthy of your attention..

Or instead of completely changing who you are...spend your time with people that don't mind having slightly more complex conversations. My next-cube-neighbor is an author, somewhat popular in her genre. And, she's a tech geek. It makes working there bearable sometimes. Most of the rest of the office is strongly anti-intellectual unless they think it can increase their ability to sell something (a few are quite intelligent but rarely let it show).

If we were in a tribe with enemy tribes in the vicinity a strong person would automatically be in the army and therefore would be risking his life for everyone's benefit. The way muscular people are respected makes me think we have the tribe mentality.

A smart bookworm would have to prove himself as being an asset.