Issues with speaking

Post Reply New Topic

When I think in my head, those times I think in words, they seem to come much more fluidly than when I actually speak. When I speak, sometimes words are fluid enough, other times it seems like I just get stuck and struggle to find a word, or the wrong word comes out, or I just mumble nonsense for a few seconds until I'm able to say the word and if it happens with strangers it can be embarrassing. Other times I stutter, but that's much less frequent. The thing that happens all the time is getting stuck trying to find the word and then saying it. I know it might happen to everyone, but this happens a lot to me and it's frustrating. Not to mention when I want to say something and I just end up saying the wrong thing, or not saying it all. When I write, I'm pretty smooth.

Thoughts? Experiences? An autistic trait or something else?

I find the less I'm actively engaged with people it gets harder for me to speak as fluidly as I think. When I have very limited social contact, my speaking skills go to s**t.

I've always been far better at expressing myself in a written way. It's easier for me to think orderly, and stick closer to my point. When I speak I either stumble, or get manic and ramble louder and faster than most people can keep up with.

Best thing I think is to just keep talking to people whenever you can. It's a skill that can be improved dramatically just by doing it over and over.

What Beaky said.

I also find that if I am speaking on a topic that I'm interested in, I can be funny, engaging, informative, I dare say eloquent even.

Get me off that topic? It's a disaster.

Yeah, same for me. I have noticed that my ability to speak starts to deteriorate when I'm under stress, so when I'm relaxed (like when I'm talking to myself or talking to someone I'm comfortable with) it comes easily and I can even be funny and somewhat charismatic on good days but when I'm stressed (like in a confrontation or some other stressful social situation) then I frequently mess up, draw a blank, and overall sound like an idiot. It is indeed very annoying, especially because I love debate but if I get into any form of live debate then I can't properly speak so I'm limited to doing it on the internet.

Same here as it goes for comfort level on the subject matter and audience. I've been told many times that I am an excellent speaker and should be in broadcasting. I must have heard this dozens of times at any job I worked where I was on the phone a lot. The woman doing my breathing test last week mentioned it again. I must have had a really good day.

I guess my point is, many people are probably much better at it than they think, but fears and anxiety get in the way.

I have the same problem, but I haven't been able to pinpoint what causes it yet. Even subjects that I enjoy talking about, I fight for words. Doing online classes is the worst for me, because my students expect me to be eloquent and fluent in whatever I'm teaching, and what happens in my head doesn't end up coming out of my mouth in the same manner. I stutter off and on, but the stuttering gets way worse if I'm stressed, angry, or upset in some way. It's also like the words get stuck in my mouth and I can't get them out. I know what the word is, but it just stops short of being spoken, so I normally hold the first sound or syllable until it comes out, and it causes me to sound very slow or awkward. It's actually increased this past year, especially the stuttering, and I'm still trying to figure out why that is.

Sometimes I skip words or phrases as well, verbally and written, and sometimes my words come out in the wrong order or in the wrong tense. Stress, anxiety levels, emotional overload, and fatigue, and subject matter are huge factors that affect my ability to speak.

I don't do it when I write, only in spoken language (any language, since I speak 3 fluently)
Wrong tenses here too, and not because I don't know the grammar, it's just because my brain doesn't connect well sometimes....it's frustrating, I don't want people to think I'm illiterate.

I stutter a lot and sometimes even completely fail to say anything halfway through a sentence, im not sure whats going on, its fine in my head but when i say it i say the words wrong and accidentally say something stupid or even a mashup of the words im going to say, its really kinda frustrating but ive found if you take a deep breath before speaking, it sort of calms its down

I have these problems with speaking, it will seem clearer in my head than it is when I try to say it, stuttering, forget words, mix up words, slurred speech. Gets worse under stress or when I have a headache.