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You either FEEL, or you ARE, hollow inside. Yes/No.

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dianthus
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06 Jul 2016, 5:21 pm

No, disagree, I do not feel hollow inside. Quite the opposite, I feel I have too much going on inside me.

What feels hollow and empty is my life, and the lack of suitable channels for me to express what is inside me.



capa
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06 Jul 2016, 5:22 pm

nurseangela wrote:
DancingCorpse wrote:
I exist beneath a thick layer of ice most of the time, but that is not what is present beneath, it's 'accessing' it and 'owning' it that can get me frustrated these days. Underneath I am always in bloom and unfurling my various tendrils of emotional foliage dark and light buds attached to the same stalks, I have to unthaw to explore my internal tide and see how I am feeling about a particular tangent in a certain period, I go through weeks and weeks of churning thought until I understand how I feel about something to an insane depth and degree, I have to dive down every inch of my feelings and experiences to feel peaceful in the clarity.

That's quite ironic but a radical change cause I used to numb absolutely everything up and exist as a hollowed out robot until I was in my late teens and it took some very intense life experiences and emotional demands to crack that hardened barrier open and I feel I am quite self aware and extremely disciplined today. Doing a lot of psychological work over the last five years at different points of my 'awakening' certainly taught me how to identify feelings, be very straight and transparent, accept strong winds as long as you learn from it and don't get blown into a whirlwind losing the core.


You Aspie men are complicated.


What's so different about Aspie women?



nurseangela
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06 Jul 2016, 5:36 pm

capa wrote:
nurseangela wrote:
DancingCorpse wrote:
I exist beneath a thick layer of ice most of the time, but that is not what is present beneath, it's 'accessing' it and 'owning' it that can get me frustrated these days. Underneath I am always in bloom and unfurling my various tendrils of emotional foliage dark and light buds attached to the same stalks, I have to unthaw to explore my internal tide and see how I am feeling about a particular tangent in a certain period, I go through weeks and weeks of churning thought until I understand how I feel about something to an insane depth and degree, I have to dive down every inch of my feelings and experiences to feel peaceful in the clarity.

That's quite ironic but a radical change cause I used to numb absolutely everything up and exist as a hollowed out robot until I was in my late teens and it took some very intense life experiences and emotional demands to crack that hardened barrier open and I feel I am quite self aware and extremely disciplined today. Doing a lot of psychological work over the last five years at different points of my 'awakening' certainly taught me how to identify feelings, be very straight and transparent, accept strong winds as long as you learn from it and don't get blown into a whirlwind losing the core.


You Aspie men are complicated.


What's so different about Aspie women?


They seem to be in touch with their feelings more from what I get in this thread and some other threads.


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A_Marquardt
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06 Jul 2016, 6:53 pm

In my case, the only other person in my life who is "Real", is my wife.

Other people are like shadows to me, difficult to remember names (up to 3 years to learn a co-worker's name!), people have a very minimal impact on my life. I suffer big-time from MDD, which has been getting unbelievably strong as my wife's condition deteriorates (cancer). It's so difficult to roll out of bed in the morning and get dressed. I've been sleeping between 16-20 hours a day, and not because of a medication.

I have to say that I AM Hollow inside. There is nothing of substance, just an unhappy mind full of useless facts. No hopes, desires, interests or motivations. No ties to humans other than the love of my life.

I lay here waiting for my wife to die.

Then I'll put a chair out in the back yard, get the long mirror, the dressing mirror, and prop it up next to the chair. I've printed out a scale drawing of the human skull with the brain stem colored in. I'll be using a side-by-side double barrel shotgun with magnum hollow point slugs pictured below.

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If the only reason you are living is to give comfort to a dying woman, I'd consider you pretty empty.



zer0netgain
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07 Jul 2016, 11:12 am

Hollow? Empty? Yes.

I don't know if I can blame AS for it, though. There's a lot of pain...a lot of mistakes...a lot of regret.

No matter how I can rationalize it, it never changes how I FEEL.

I would say that over the last 20-30 years, I've died a little bit on the inside every day. To an extent, I feel like a walking corpse.



arkatron
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08 Jul 2016, 12:00 pm

dianthus wrote:
No, disagree, I do not feel hollow inside. Quite the opposite, I feel I have too much going on inside me.

What feels hollow and empty is my life, and the lack of suitable channels for me to express what is inside me.


I feel similarly. I always have something going on inside, but there are so few channels in real life, zero supports, and other things that impede. With all my talents going to waste, I end up feeling that my life is empty.


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ToughDiamond
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09 Jul 2016, 7:05 pm

No, I get bored sometimes, but I don't usually feel hollow. My brain usually gives me plenty to think about and do. Do you mean something like depression? I don't usually feel that either.



josh338
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09 Jul 2016, 7:51 pm

Not me. Inside, I'm overflowing with ideas, personality, passion and desire. I just can't act on it.