How do you feel after a meltdown?

Post Reply New Topic

I feel exhausted, like all of the life has been drained out of me. I also feel somewhat embarrassed because of the amount of people that witnessed and didn't understand it. ><; I haven't had a real full on meltdown in a while since most of the time I just have slight outbursts.

Before a temperamental outburst, where I may smash things, my head is about to explode (is it a meltdown or a temperamental moment?) Afterwards: Relief.
After a shutdown: slight depression and fatigue.

Thank you all. Definitely makes me feel relieved at my own response.

Looking more closely at the "shutting oneself away after" comments, I feel that whenever I'm physically hurt as well as after meltdowns. Prior to my recent diagnosis, I described it to myself as cat-like, wanting to be alone while vulnerable and licking my wounds. Now, I think maybe it is to avoid more stimuli after just over-reacting to that last straw of stimulus that triggered the meltdown.

The fact that you talk about Dressage makes me think that you're in a "horsey" part of Jersey. My brother used to live near Middletown and near Red Bank.

Extremely tired. Usually have to sleep.

KraftieKortie

Actually, I'm on a 75 acre horse farm in northwest NJ. Bought it in 1985, while in-house counsel at AT&T.

Nice area, Northwest Jersey! Near the Delaware.

Nice place to go kayaking after a meltdown

Embarrassed, guilty, and very sleepy.

Exhausted. Beaten up. Shaky. Sensitive. VERY VERY embarrassed and not sure how to handle anything about it.

After a melt-down I have to spend a day in bed, with my phone off.
I do that as it enables me to return to a normal level the following day.

It works because there is no external input.
Yes, when I'm in bed for those 24 hours my brain is active, and I think about things such as "How do clouds stay up in the sky?", "How does the Earths spin effect gravity?", "I wonder how recycling is sorted", and lots more.
The KEY though is that durin that time there is no EXTERNAL input.
My brain is able to go through on probably a subconscious level what caused the meltdown, whilst my brain keeps my conscious mind busy with thinking about the sorts of stuff above.

Thankfully I don't have a meltdown that often as I avoid situations that could cause it.
However, to lead a life of integrating with NT society I do make sacrifices. In other words I do sometimes place myself in situations that NT's do in the hope that my ASD mind may learn how to cope with them.

Star City: What you say resonates with me, except for the "avoiding situations that cause meltdown" statement. For me, meltdowns occur when I have been controlling myself, and controlling myself, and controlling myself, and then a final affront occurs. What my father liked to call, "the straw that broke the camel's back." I never know when someone will load me with that last straw.

Exhausted, embarrassed, depressed. There's a tiny bit of relief in there too, sometimes, but I typically feel too guilty to enjoy it. Afterwards there's typically a 'shutdown period' that can last anywhere from five minutes to an hour, where I lay there, staring into space, unable to speak or move. Once that passes, I've learned the best way to recover is to distract myself with a movie, a book, or a video game. Anything that's not too heavy, but entertaining enough to direct my thoughts away from myself.

The only thing that pass through my head is "i need to go home!". And i also feel like the worst person in the world afterwards, and really tired!

I feel a deep sense of dread along with a heaviness in my chest that remains from the meltdown after the emotion has disappeared. Once I reach that phase of recovery, what ever I feel is what I'll experience for the rest of the day until I go to bed. I need distraction to take my mind away from what happened as I end up getting stuck mentally on what happened. Fortunately I've figured out some coping mechanisms and these don't happen very often and I can usually minimize them if I can catch myself in time.

The last classic full-blown knock-down drag-out meltdown I had happened back in 1992 when I was 12 and that one lasted a good 45 minutes - screaming and crying and hitting things including myself. During that event my senses became really distant and after I started to calm down, my senses came back to normal, but I had a really intense feeling of disassociation with reality, everything felt dream like and surreal.

I feel scattered, afraid, embarrassed and like I'm not fit to be a human.

I'm particularly troubled by Jo_B1_Kenobi's "not fit to be a human" comment. Would you consider someone's epileptic fit as something that should make them feel "not fit to be a human"? If not, why should a meltdown?

I understand embarrassment over a meltdown: even if something is not our "fault," FREX, the aforementioned epileptic fit or blood spotting clothing when menstruation starts, having private things exposed is embarrassing. But IMO the only people "not fit to be a human" are those who are intentionally cruel. Is there any culture where self-control is so revered that there are no excuses for losing it?