Anybody get overloaded living with their family?

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Growing up is difficult for everyone I'm sure but especially for someone with ASD. I was diagnosed only a few years ago but even now I strongly feel like my family, especially my dad is STILL not understanding about my autism. No one else is diagnosed in my family and I'm 20.
I can get overloaded anywhere and meltdown but this happens constantly at home. Thankfully I will be moving away to study but still near so I can go back to home if I want to. But I'm making this topic in hope someone understands what I am going through with family difficulties. My family never helped me feel better or mentored me about the issues I have about my autism.

Recently it has got so bad I lost my temper and attacked my dad, nothing serious but when I'm with my family I don't know how I can keep myself under control. Our house isn't spacious so at night you can hear everyone moving around and talking, I'm next to my brother and he's really loud and I struggle to get to sleep. Its not only my family but my neighbourhood. Loud kids and their parents shouting, there's my neighbours baby which screams in the night and wakes everyone up almost everyday then the dogs pine because they don't like it. This may be common in housing but for someone with ASD and noise sensitivity, I really struggle with this and shout and bang things when I hear the baby and neighbours probably hear. I don't know how to cope.

Next is my dad. I've told him time and time again it is only my autism which makes me shout and get overloaded about what he is doing or saying as I'm a person that is sensitive to many things. But he just thinks I'm using it as an excuse to be angry and no matter how hard I try he dosen't change, I guess some people never change. Then he makes me feel bad because he says I've destroyed the family and I'm the most unpleasant person he's came across in his life but I'm not, I treat everyone in my life nicely and good manner. Its horrible because my relationship with him can be nice one minute but really vile the next.
Me and my brother don't talk either anymore either but he is close to my dad, but has taken after his harsh opinions and probably hates me.

The dogs in my family overload me too. We have too big dogs which require a lot of walking and attention. It was the familys choice to have them and they are not trained properly because they beg and lick the food at the table which makes mealtimes incredibly stressful because its always the same process. They tell the dogs off a lot, which again makes my noise sensitivity scream.

Its all this and what I've been through with family life which makes me feel like I never in my life want to have a family. I don't really see myself seeing them much either when I'm older because of the living situation described. Though it may be suitable for a Neurotypical person like they are, as a person with Aspergers where I live is like bipolar - good bad good bad and its this uncertainty living here that puts me on edge. I could "get out the house" more in my dads words but I don't wish to have a large social life, and I love pursuing my special interest just in my room which makes me happy.

Is this common growing up in a family with Aspergers? Were your parents and family as understanding as they could and tried to help you as much as they can? How often do you see your family? My family experience has been so stressful I think I want to live on my own or a understanding partner when I'm older, and get away from as many things I can which overload me ie. my family.

Hey. Hang in there. If you're going to move out that's a good thing.

I can relate to not wanting to be around your family so much. Sounds pretty crowded. I would go nuts.
I don't really keep in touch with my family so much. Not that they are bad people, just I always get too bothered by being around them. I can only handle a few days living with someone in my family... yet I have a family of my own. Still, I need my alone time! Maybe try finding something that lets you be alone, or in a better place for a while. I used to walk to work for 2.5 hours total every day. It gave me some peace.

It sucks that your family is not being directly supportive. My guess (I could be wrong) is that they think they are helping you by not accommodating to you. Like showing you how to deal with the "real world". If they aren't understanding, just move on and do what you need to, to make life better. That's my advice. Good luck!

Yes, I got a good job and moved away. Now I live in relatively quiet house in a good neighborhood.

I think even for neurotypicals it's often a strain to live with parents and siblings once you're in your teens, and it can get worse as you get older. It's natural to establish yourself in your own right as you mature, and the parental nest is more suitable for childhood, so it often tends to work against the process. And parents often get set in their ways as the authority, it's frequently difficult for them to let go of their past role and they tend to think they still know best.

I didn't exactly get overloaded with my family, but we found ourselves more and more at loggerheads as I grew up. I moved out when I was about 23, by which time we'd been essentially living separate lives for some years. Our values had become rather different in many respects and there was little we could easily share without those differences showing up and leading us into conflict.

You sound a bit like my dad. He also is bothered with every little sound he hears - especially when he is trying to sleep - and he gets angry often. But he is not autistic, at least not diagnosed.

I am a bit like this too but I don't get angry easily. I go to sleep later than anybody else so noises when I am trying to sleep are not an issue but TV, chats and - worst of the worst - argues of my parents are pissing me off, especially when I am trying to read. I usually close the door to my room then and if it doesn't help I will make "ughhhh!" angry sound and put my forehead at desk with eyes closed, waiting till they stop. Or I simply go to them to watch TV together or listen what they say.

Fortunately our house is pretty big so small sounds like walking are not a problem - unless someone uses the hall of my room floor (but only bedrooms and night restroom are there so it rarely happens). It would be bad if someone walked back and forth or talked right behind my room door. I feel you.

Anyway - Recently I discovered a way to not get too angry with normal stuff and avoid sensory overload. Don't think "I am autistic so it bothers me and and I can't help it, the world is so unfair, why everyone must do it?" - you are just making things worse. Instead focus on thinking "I can stand it. I am strong enough to deal with the sounds. Not like they are doing it to bother me. Those are just normal sounds. I must understand".

Also - if a sound is persisting instead of thinking angrily "Damn it! Why won't it stop!?" - laugh and think "No way! Again? It is getting ridiculous... <laugh>". Humor is a good way to deal with frustration. You don't have to surrender to your anger. <- that's what i did today, upon hearing a God knows what kind of sound outside. It was as if someone was cutting a huge piece of metal. It was very unpleasant sound - but instead of getting angry I laughed and wondered what might be causing it (for example I joked it might be triclops coming, lol).

You can't control the world - but you can control your emotional reaction.

BTW. Even after moving out you will have to deal with a lot of overloading situations. Noise neighbors are everywhere. You have to learn to deal with it.