Getting mad over illogical policies. Autism/Aspie thing?

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I know this will sound like a ranty post but I need to get this out and I feel bad complaining about it to my girlfriend again. (She's a saint to put up with me). Recently my family lost one of our two dogs ( he was fifteen and protected me by taking a rattlesnake bite meant for me) and we realized that, for our remaining dog and for us as well, adopting a new puppy would be best.

And here is where I'm getting mad and ranting every day. The way that many adoption groups run their adoptions is illogical and detrimental to the idea of adoption. Applications can be denied for living in an apartment or working full time or admitting you've put an animal down due to it had a terminal illness or you didn't want them to suffer. Or even it could be the way you look, depending on the adopter. Heck, I read one article where someone denied a couple for having accents. ACCENTS FOR $%^& SAKE!

To me that's not the most annoying part of it. It's going through the adoption application or sending out inquiries about an animal and hearing nothing back on if you've been rejected or not. Or even, that the agency has moved onto another adopter and the dog/cat/etc has been adopted. No, we'll contact you should we have something similar or a peep. And plus, if you're rejected, good luck in getting a straight answer unless you piss someone off. Also, if you contact them too much, you're considered impatient and thus unsuitable for a pet. Even though, they can spend weeks/ months not getting back to you.


I sit here and think that in any other business this wouldn't be tolerated and they'd go out of business. So why is this okay? Why don't they have a communication person and actually talk to people and try to get animals into loving homes? I find myself getting angry at how sloppy and disorganized this is. I often find myself getting mad at work, businesses, and government when confronted with similar illogical policies. Is this just me being weird or an autism/ aspie thing that others experience? Please let me know cause like... I'm scared of how worked up I get over stuff like this and like I don't like my anger. In the words of Yoda,
.

So yeah, just me or others out there with this issue?

Gawd yes. I mean, getting mad about these bozo policies. The local Humane Society made adopting cats so hard, I said to heck with them, I'm not going out there (remote location) multiple times just so you can pass judgment on whether I'm good enough to adopt a pet! I found other routes. A lot of times the pet stores have an adoption fair and I believe you can get one with a lot less difficulty. You can also put out the word among your social network. I have adopted cats both these ways and was happy with the results.

Dogs I think are slightly different. But I hope you find a real sweet, smart, loyal dog and it gives you comfort.

I feel like I've found the perfect one for our family. She's a King Charles Cavalier, which are love bugs/ smart and loyal and love everyone, a female, and a puppy. (I'd love to get a cat but family is allergic, I'm not and end up having the neighborhood cats follow me home cause I pet and love on them). The only issue is I haven't heard back from her adoption group, emailed them twice. Once as a general interest, second as a hey, I realized I forgot my contact information, think this dog would be a fit/ your website doesn't have an application on it like it says, please call me with any questions.

I'm gonna try calling them tomorrow, playing the think the Internet ate my emails card but glad to know I'm not the only one who gets mad with illogical policies. Honestly, it's frustrating to me cause the animals and people who want to give them love and pets and a happy home are the ones who suffer. I just... I can't understand why they are allowed to do this/ be so illogical in their criteria and how they approach people. It makes me frustrated and I can not wrap my brain around it. It serves no one, so why is it this way?

It isn't the same as an adoption policy, but the bone marrow donation one bothers me.

I would like to be a donor. This comes from the donation register website:

You can donate your stem cells in two ways.
Nearly 90% of people donate their stem cells quickly and easily in a process similar to giving blood, called peripheral blood stem cell collection.
The other 10% donate through bone marrow, where they give cells from the bone marrow in their pelvis.

I do not want to go under general anaesthetic. For me, taking that (however slim) risk for the benefit of someone else when I have my own daughter to think about is just not worth it.

However, I would be very happy to be amongst the 90% doing the peripheral blood stem cell collection.

They say that they are absolutely desperate for donors and people are dying, but they refuse to let you sign up unless you would agree to having your stem cells donated through either method.

Personally, I think if they are that desperate then they would be able to save many more lives by allowing people to sign up just for the one method. Surely, better to have that 90% rate than nothing at all from someone?

With regards to the more "official" adoption agencies. This attitude you describe has been going on for years.

When I was young and spry I visited the local shelter several times in the hopes of volunteering. My "application" was rejected because I "wasn't suitable or experienced".

A formal application to become a volunteer?

Not suitable or experienced to walk a dog?

Really.

The whole place had a nasty "prison" vibe to it. CCTV cameras even and that was years ago. I was reprimanded like a two year old for daring to touch anything that might breathe, feel and appreciate it.

In terms of adoption, you might fare better by searching for a "rougher" place rather than the more official ones.

Nearby my former home there was something of a dog "shanty town" on a farm. It might have been rough but you could walk around and take any of the dogs out and spend some time with them.

It wasn't weird to do this. You didn't have to sign papers to do this. You didn't get looked down on or spoken to like a piece of crap to do this. You didn't get judged or asked questions or supervised to do this and there wasn't this EXPECTATION from the staff that you had come there with the sole purpose of beating or raping the dogs. Ya know, like a little quickie in the corner and hope nobody notices in the middle of this crowded shelter full of people...keep an eye on them. That's sure how they make you feel at the official agencies.

I remember clearly. The way they looked at me when I asked if I could take one of the dogs for a walk made me blush, I was made to feel guilty by a mere look. That look made me think: "What the hell do you think I'm going to do to them? Rape them? Beat them? Try out some experimental drugs on them with a three foot syringe in the eyeball?"

No...at the "rough" farm you just asked to take the dog for a walk and the guy would throw a lead at you.

If you wanted to take a dog home you paid up a small fee. End of story.

Despite an uncivilised appearance, this process and place was actually far more civilised and it's much better for the dogs to be treated like living breathing beings - despite their incarceration - rather than robots.

Another thing that annoys me...

At the zoo they say: "Don't treat the animals with any feeling and don't touch them because it wouldn't be natural for them to have anything to do with humans".

What?

They're surrounded by humans all day every day and locked into cages. How natural is that? The least you can do for them is treat them with some common social courtesy, decency and civility rather than as metal facsimiles of living beings that don't feel or think or "naturally" require some form of touch. Most mammals at least have a NEED for social touch...this has even been proven.

I just don't get it. I really don't. What is wrong with people that they can be so callous and cold. What is it with this robotic overtone?

Ours hands them out like candy on Halloween. Too much pets and not enough resources. Anyone with even one brain cell can see that's a stupid policy to be that strict about pet adoption. Not an autism thing, but a logic thing.

I agree those policies sound illogical, even punitive. But could part of it be the type of dog you appear to want to adopt?

Pure-bred King Charles Cavalier puppies are often sold for $1000 or $2000 USD, sometimes even more. I adopted our mixed-breed dog (11 years ago) for $125 at a local puppy rescue, and took her home the first day we visited them. For what limited experience I have with pure-bred puppy breeders, they seem to take the attitude that "these dogs are exclusive, not everyone is fit for a dog this good." But my mixed-breed dog -- 1/2 Boxer, 1/2 Pit Bull, we think -- is as loving as they come, even though her breeding was an accident.

I agree some of these shelters have policies that eliminate potentially wonderful, perfectly good and loving owners and homes, because they're unreasonably strict.

The place where I live now, although I haven't tried out the system yet, just the things I've read about policy means that I will probably NEVER be permitted to adopt an animal from these places, simply because they are strict about the size and type of your home if you live in a flat/apartment, and they are strict about the hours you work, if you're gone all day most days.

On the one hand I would agree with them that a person wanting to adopt a mastiff can't be living in a studio flat, or a person who works 11 hours a day can't have an African grey parrot, which needs tons of social time, or may not be best placed with a dog who isn't going to get walked by someone.

But on the other hand many of the policies are too strict unnecessarily. I'm out of the running even though I still meet the criteria by which I was permitted to adopt when I lived in a completely different city and country! Back in my old hometown, they were far more reasonable. My living in an apartment wasn't a problem for them for cat adoption. My being at work every day, no problem. My low income, no problem. I'd had cats prior and that did count apparently. I'd even had to have one put to sleep due to irreversible illness and old age. I don't recall that being a barrier or if it even came up.

They were my city's Humane Society and I really liked them -- I feel that particular branch went down a perfect "middle line" of not being too nuts and restrictive, yet also not being too indiscriminate as they did want to ensure that it wasn't TOO easy to get hold of an animal. There are people with bad intentions and so making it a little bit of a process does protect animals from those people. This is why private sellers should never just put "free kittens" on Craigslist -- at least ask a price and ask questions of the owner and their home.

It's for the animals' sakes that owners be looked into a little bit, but I wholeheartedly agree -- being now locked out in my new city -- that the places with crazy-strict policies are ridiculous and they are turning away wonderful people who could give a very good home to an animal in very great need of one.

In the future, because of my local shelters horrible policies, I'm going to have to go alternative routes myself. I will have to ask around and rescue an animal "through the grapevine" rather than through the official shelters around me where I am now. And I have good conditions to offer and have been a good owner for all my life.

I think the reason why these strict policies exist is because they do it to weed out people who neglect pets and they want serious dog owners and want a dog to have a stable environment, they may feel an apartment isn't a stable home for them and usually because many landlords don't allow pets, some people put pets down for petty reasons and some places are against putting them down for medical reasons such as living in chronic pain or due to cancer or because the owner didn't want to spend tons of money trying to save an animal and still risk it dying because life isn't guaranteed, working full time can keep you from attending to your pets needs they feel, but the accent thing sounded ridiculous. Sadly this also happens with kid adoption too because there is all this red tape you have to go through and they make it so hard for anyone to do it which I think is the reason why many people just go on and have their own kids than adopt but I don't think that is all, they also want a baby they can screw up themselves, not have a kid that has already been screwed up and now requires lots and lots of treatment and therapy or already has bad habits which are hard to break in a older child than it is in a young child. But then again I can also understand why they make this so hard but then it just makes it less likely for a kid to be adopted but even when it was so simple back then, many kids were just adopted to be used as a free live in maid because the adopters didn't want to hire someone and having to pay them. It was like they didn't matter and weren't real children and still not a member of the family so it was like they still didn't have a family.


Our local animal shelter required a certain amount of hours for you to go in and volunteer and help take care of the pets there. They wanted you to see how much work it is to care for an animal so they let you do some of the work there. You had to pick up wet newspapers that were filled with piss and that was gross and I know you don't do that at home because they go outside. You had to clean the kennels, you don't have to have a kennel at home, you have your yard that is fenced or the big laundry room you can put them in or the garage and you give them a dog bed. We also had to brush the dogs and walk them. We never brushed our dogs, we had them groomed and dogs with short hair shed. The ones that don't shed need grooming. But I think they just do this all on purpose to make it annoying so they get serious dog owners because they figure if you really really want a dog, you will do anything to get one. But they would allow people to take home a dog and have it for two weeks so they can see if it is the right animal for them because every dog is different and then if they liked the animal, they went back to adopt it but you had like two weeks to decide. The shelter rarely got pure bred animals, lot of them were mixed breeds and mixed breeds are very cheap dogs to adopt. The pure bred were more expensive to adopt. They also picked up abandoned animals too and lost pets and would call the owners. Also we didn't live far form this shelter, only a few miles.

I understand the feeling.

One thing I'd add to your post is that other businesses DO act in illogical ways.
The way a business acts is often inconsistent with their stated or presumed mission.

In your case it sounds like these adoption businesses have policies they were meant to weed out bad adopters.
It sounds like they are ok if their policies possibly weed out good adopters as well (as long as the bad ones are kept out).

I find a similar thing happens in job hiring.

A lot of the filters HR people (aspie's worst enemy) put up filter out aspies. Even though an aspie may be able to do the job very well, they never get the chance.

I totally agree with what you're saying about illogical policies. I get mad about this every single day, mainly to do with government laws and not punishing criminals appropriately. I had a similar experience to you when trying to adopt a dog. I chose this dog called Dudley. The rescue called me to go through the application process which took about half an hour. They asked many personal questions about myself and my partner, many of which I failed to see how they were relevant. I asked if anyone else was interested in Dudley but they said they couldn't tell me this information. They said if other people wanted him they would choose the most suitable home. I didn't hear back for a week then they told me Dudley wasn't suitable for me but they didn't explain why. I was so upset and I just wanted to get a dog so I bought a puppy from a private seller. I don't agree with people backstreet breeding and selling pups on gumtree because they might not go to a good home but I knew I'd give this pup a good home. Here he is now almost 11 months old, he's called Rocco and he means the world to me

For those who were interested about what's happened with the Cavalier puppy, I ended up calling the shelter after hearing no responses from my emails. It turns out, she's a donation from a breeder as a "fundraiser" for the shelter. As such, the breeder is charging 2,500 dollars for her adoption fee. Their website nor Petfinder advertisement says any of this. All it says is that she is eligible for adoption and is in a foster home. I can't describe how mad I am at this/ feel frustrated that this is allowed/ again, why is this allowed? It seems illogical and wrong to do this sort of thing.

If it were up to me (and it is not due to the rental agreement [yay BSL/ Breed Specific Restricted housing] where we live and that my parents pay rent/my mom has final say on the dog ) I'd go to the pound and adopt a pit-mix or some other large mix puppy. As for shelter people, I ended up looking at a couple pet adoptions at the pet stores in my town today and the looks I got made me want to never come back. I know I look young for my age/ don't dress professionally (comfort over style) but still... Again, if I were able to, I would've snatched up a pit or some other bigger dog that is easier to adopt but we live in a condo and my family thinks it'd be too difficult to have a big dog in our home.

League_Girl, I'm not sure what to say to your post? I understand for a more active/ social breed, an apartment isn't good but, smaller breeds and some larger dogs (depending on the dogs) are okay with apartments/ don't care. I understand wanting to make sure the animals are safe but at the same time, it's discouraging for people who love and care for animals and who have never hurt them feel as if they are Michael Vick or an animal abuser. Just because a home isn't perfect doesn't mean that it's not full of love and what a dog needs. My anger steams from that each group/ shelter can have different and unrealistic rules with no standard that they have to be held too.

As for the comment about businesses, I've experienced this first hand both shopping and working for them. And the same thing with HR. I honestly wish a lot of job applications were just a practical or mock simulation that you had to do in order to show you can do the job.

Elsa, I understand completely. I feel my family may go that way if we keep getting rejected. I hate to say it but if the rescues/shelters want people to stop going to private sellers and backyard breeders, than they need to realize that they have to let go of some of their crazy rules/ actually work on people skills. (Which can be learned. It just took me several years and retail jobs to get mine)

ArielsSong - Some donors cannot produce enough white cells to donate adult stem cells. I injected myself with Neulasta, and my white cells reached an insanely high 32000. My bones ached all over from producing this many white cells. But this was still not enough white cells to do a stem cell transplant! This is why I had to donate bone marrow.

(I donated bone marrow to myself in Autumn 2004, as part of the bone marrow transplant to save myself from Hodgkin's Lymphoma. The pain afterwards was much less than I anticipated.)

It might also be true that one method of donation gives a higher cure rate with various types of lymphoma or leukemia.

League Girl, I hear what you're saying about shelters possibly thinking that someone living in an apartment might not be in a "stable" home, if renting.

But even people who rent can often be in that same home for years and years on end. Not all renters are unstable, ever-moving people who never stay put for long, therefore disrupting the pet's life.

Although, about that -- most people do move about at some point, with pets. Even those who own a house.

I personally stay in the same rented apartment for long stretches such as eight years, five years. Some people who OWN their homes move in five years and eight years due to job transfers, needing a bigger place, etc. Should they be denied a pet too?

It's one thing to deny an apartment dweller a pet if they're asking for a huge dog. It's another thing to deny them just because it's thought they never stay in one place long. That's a fallacy. There are renters who stay in one place for many years, as long as home owners.

It's also not universally true that pets aren't allowed in rented apartments. Every place I've rented, they've allowed pets, they just demanded a deposit to be paid against potential damage. There are places that don't allow, but in all my adoptions in my former city, I was asked if this was the case -- they did make sure it's allowed.

It's also ridiculous to expect anyone who works or even who has a modest income to never be allowed to have a pet. There are people I know with very slim means but who are excellent carers of their animals and put them first.

Low income, apartment renters who work are not all neglectful scum who can't take proper care of a pet.......

I happen to be all of those things and two different adoption agencies in my former city were more than happy to let me adopt as I met all their criteria ANYWAY.

And those two animals lived long, happy lives -- one cat lived to be 16, the other 13.

The city I live in now would deny me the chance to give the same great life to a new cat. That's messed up. I have a proven track record.

I do all the time. I tend to go for a more common sense approach to things, and I'm going to be honest that I think many of these animal adoption agencies are run by nuts! Many are them are insane with their expectations of what the animal can and cannot endure and such to where you'd think they want the cat at a Ritz Carlton with a private valet and maid service.

I'd say just go to a city and the shelter where they don't care. Sadly, some of these so-called adoption agencies are involved with certain shelters, but there are plenty of animals there in inner cities where they're more than happy to give you the dog or cat. I got mine from the shelter and I didn't have to deal with any agencies, just paid the fee for him to be neutered.