No more faith in much of anything and feeling like an alien

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I haven't had faith in much of anything for years now. So much is wrong and no one is doing anything to fix it. Worse still, I feel powerless to do anything to change it. I don't just mean in the country I live in, Australia <insert s**t emoji here>. I mean globally. So much is wrong and it's very unnerving.

Have you ever wondered what it feels like to be born into the wrong universe? To watch the world around you "die" - more or less, all the while feeling and being powerless to stop it's slow, agonizing death? To see and, in some way feel, the anguish of innocent people just trying to survive, or seeking justice for an obvious injustice?

THAT is what I feel almost everyday!! !! !

Meanwhile, politicians scheme and lie. Terrorists kill innocent people. The clearly guilty are more protected than their innocent victims. Religions continue to infect society while suppressing scientific advancement and secularism. Anyone not white, male, Christian and heterosexual is persecuted.

So I'm practically an alien on this planet. Outside of a better time. Outside of a better universe. What the f**k am I really doing here? It's like my life is some randomly-generated, chaos-theory-created joke!

I'm barely still here because of loving parents, a few caring friends, a 3 year old cat who I adopted when he was 6 months old, and some anti-depressants I'm sure have lost much of their effectiveness. I'm also trapped in a way; I've thought about ending my own life, but I'm physically unable to do anything about it - survival instinct is too strong.

To add to my suffering, I'm gay and an Aspie. Finding someone special who'll give two f***s about my well-being has been difficult to say the least. With my gender it's almost always about sex and that's it. I could pretend to be straight and get a girl, but I'm not going to be one of those liars who ends up hurting said girl. As it stands now I'm sure I'm going to die scared and alone. I also don't see myself being a parent, because with the way the world is now, bringing up a child would be borderline child-abuse.

Deep down I'm just unhappy with so much. Sure I can daydream and play video-games a lot, but I know even that won't sustain me forever. Eventually I'll collapse or implode or explode, or all of the above and more. Then I'll die alone and the cesspool world I live in will go ever onwards towards it's inevitable whimpering demise.

Sorry for everything

Hey mate, I think all of us can feel powerless and overwhelmed at times.

This is why I steer well clear of commercial tv, radio, newspapers, social media, news sites, etc.

If there's a topic or issue I'm interested in, I'll take back control by applying a good dose of Critical Thinking and research/investigate myself. Revisiting my Core Values helps too

I know exactly how you feel. Unfortunately, I don't have any answers. And I don't know about you but, the older I get, the worse I've begun to feel about this world... I think if people weren't here, this Earth would be a great place to live. I feel like I'm trying to exist in too many dimensions at once and the one I really want to be in is somewhere very far from this time and space. Even as a child, being "human" felt foreign and wrong to me -- this Asperger's business is a real kicker sometimes. Now I look at the world and see all the wrong being done and no one else seems to care or even see all the problems -- and if they do, they only see a part of it, not the whole picture, not ALL the ills. Of course, I can't see them all either, but I at least acknowledge that they're there whereas other people seem like they're just sticking their heads in the sand. I feel powerless to help this world out (I can barely keep myself going!) and that just adds to the overwhelming feeling of just wanting out.
Sorry for the rant, I just wanted to let you know that you aren't the only one going through something like that. I'm sure there are many more out there too. Just know you always have a place to come and vent and talk about any of the things that are upsetting or frustrating you. We're here.