11 Sep 2016, 11:20 am
12 Sep 2016, 5:42 pm
...Maybe it's not totally that I'm a " thread killer " as that my posting circumstances , where , remember , I do not have a computer of my own , or even collectively my household/place's , and have to ride/walk a number of blocks (including walking uphill) to get computer time at a lab or suchlike and so I often must wait many hours to post what I've thought of (And maybe my enthusiasm will have subsided by that time/I'll be distracted by other stuff) - So , maybe I REALLY tend to be at the end of lines 
- I'm going to post a few things here , starting w/a direct comment on what you've said here , AS-P.........
You made an interesting argument with your (IIRC) " ' we " didn't get the protection/help that those to-day get , which in some cases could help since we kind of learned independence today's crop wouldn't " - I have sort of thought that re: myself as far as being a " wanna do things " IN THEORY independent type ~ But , in fact , I have never worked , I have never really " taken off " - And now ALL of my " stuff " is long gone , and I am old , long since have no loving adult family whatsoever , and my body seems to be starting the big head downward " with nothing much to show for it " 
~ I will do a more " autobiographical " thread elsewhere .
Since then a discussion has arison was it better for milder autistics back in the day dispite the ignorence. For me ignorence was anything but bliss from bullying to bieng the person let go when any type of downsizing occurred. Despite that I can honestly say that it was a LOT less bad for me because I grew up then rather then now. More freedom helped me figure out what I can and can not do in many areas. Also helpful as mentioned, while it was nice if you and your boss got along it was not expected, in many jobs teamwork was not demanded. I can see myself becoming quite mentally ill if I had to grow up today. Just reading about what I can not do because of my label, reading about parents commonly going through a grieving process when they find out who I am, my label bieng a popular insult. Add to that 25-40 hours of ABA, endless needs to multitask and engange in teamwork and on and on. Total nightmare when you are not mature.
_________________
Renal kidney failure, congestive heart failure, COPD. Can't really get up from a floor position unhelped anymore:-(.
One of the walking wounded ~ SMASHED DOWN by life and age, now prevented from even expressing myself! SOB.
" Oh, no! First you have to PROVE you deserve to go away to college! " ~ My mother, 1978 (the heyday of Andy Gibb and Player). I would still like to go.
My life destroyed by Thorazine and Mellaril - and rape - and the Psychiatric/Industrial Complex. SOB:-(! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!
12 Sep 2016, 6:13 pm
...I know fairly vaguely about that " no such thing as society " comment said by Mrs. Thatcher though not a lot (More than most Americans , I'd guess !) . I'm aware that British Rail has been humongosly privatized since her time all through to Cameron's anyway ~ What sort of job might an Aspie have on vintage British Rail ?
An engineer or a ticket-taker/trainwalker seems not likely , especially the latter ~ Rather a whole lot of brief encounters and being automatically friendly there .
I read an article in American HARPER'S magazine a bit back about the state of the U.S. rail system especially in the more " prairie/frontier " Western states ~ Apparently many Congressional Republicans , rather ideologically against trains (Seeing them as too " collectivist " ? The article's not here now .) keep trying to starve funding for those trains , but some R's from further-off Western areas where towns' only?? connection might be the train do apparently stand in the way of that . The article indicated that , among frequent users of/travelers of those Western trains , Brits traveling here were noted by workers there as a major percentage !
(Relating to what I've posted already ~) I don't know whether I'd want to be in such a nice-sounding " lots of green " institute - I still want to be involved some and I'm so verbal and " clever " 
(Note the quotation marks I meant to put them there) .
I was smart at school, but everything began to unwind at adolescence. My doctor thought I was pre schizophrenic. There was talk of me being sent to some sort of special school because of my disobedience - this was a narrow escape, as have heard very bad things about the psychiatric schools of the time.
Had a very bad time on LSD. Became convinced that one day I would go mad and never return. Off the rails, living on benefits, soft to medium drugs. Hard drinker - if it hadn't have been for my family I'd have been on the streets / in the asylum or prison.
Spells of education. Attempts to work led to bloody awful jobs with bloody awful people that didn't last.
Presently very qualified in English and unemployable. I dislike the 21st century.
In the 50's and 60's aspies in the uk would have been found work on British Rail.
There were more pockets of society with a live and let live attitude back then. There was more Society.
I could quite easily have written most of what you've written myself. I passed my 11+, went to grammar school, where I was predicted to pass 13 O Levels but the wheels fell off. After clocking up 100% attendance at infants, primary school and the first two years of grammar school I then clocked up only 3 weeks attendance over the next two years. Eventually I was expelled because I was "unmanageable." I seemed to settle into a pattern of being admitted to colleges, and eventually university, but then I'd lose interest in the courses that I was studying and "drop out." I drifted in and out of short terms of employment, generally quitting because I'd got bored with the job or I'd seriously piss them off in some way. I spent much longer terms on benefits. I experimented with lots of drugs, which generally resulted in paranoia and "bad trips" probably because of the way in which my mind is wired. I drank heavily, to the stage were I was suffering three day blackouts. I had relationships with a couple of people who "love me" but I had no romantic interest in either of them and all I was interested in was the physical sex. Finally, less than a month ago, I was diagnosed with "an Autism Spectrum Condition" and everything about my life suddenly began to make sense. There was a reason for my lack of friends (and not even understanding the meaning of the word), the bullying, being called a ret*d as a child, my intense interests, neverending collections and my preference for being by myself. As a primary school child I always felt like an outsider who didn't fit in and I often told other kids that I was either adopted, an alien or a faerie changeling. I guess that I wasn't far wrong.
For some autistic "feeble minded" people their treatment in the dark ages of the 1950s, 1960s and 1970s was undoubtedly horrific. However there were also some much better places and the more fortunate "mentally handicapped" people could spend their lives in large residential facilities, set in acres of countryside, where people were cared for and where they could potter around in greenhouses growing geraniums or spend their afternoons finger painting. Nowadays people are left to fend for themselves in what is euphemistically called "community care" and if they're lucky (?) they might get a ten minute long visit once a fortnight from an overweight unqualified "carer" who'll wander around their home, with a cigarette hanging out of the corner of her mouth, pocketing small valuable items, while looking for where the vulnerable autistic adult has hidden their cash.
Hey! I did that job. I do not fit that description. I will say though, it was a awkward, weird-assed situation. I was 23 and they were 40-60 and it was my job to just go into their home and give them "contact hours." But they really didn't want me there and they really didn't connect to me at all. And so we would just sit there. I remember one guy teaching me how he cuts an onion. Another dude was a physics professor before he became disabled, but I couldn't get him to talk about physics. He didn't talk much at all. These guys were absolutely horrible at self-care. They ate nothing but frozen dinners and only cleaned up when someone made them. I was like, how can you be anything but sick if you sit inside all day and eat only frozen dinners and watch daytime TV? But as I said, I was young. I don't know how I would perceive it if I went today. Once I made the effort to help one of the guys go to the store, buy fresh ingredients and make himself some real food. But the next week I came back and he said he threw it out because it didn't taste good. I felt horrible because I know they are on really fixed budgets. So he went back to frozen dinners for every meal... and he kept taking the high blood pressure meds that helped his body cope with all that crap in his system.
_________________
Renal kidney failure, congestive heart failure, COPD. Can't really get up from a floor position unhelped anymore:-(.
One of the walking wounded ~ SMASHED DOWN by life and age, now prevented from even expressing myself! SOB.
" Oh, no! First you have to PROVE you deserve to go away to college! " ~ My mother, 1978 (the heyday of Andy Gibb and Player). I would still like to go.
My life destroyed by Thorazine and Mellaril - and rape - and the Psychiatric/Industrial Complex. SOB:-(! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!
12 Sep 2016, 6:28 pm
...Okay , a quick , but fuller , synopsis of me .
I am homeless .
I have been so for past 20 years now (and times before that , as well) . (I am doing this typing at a Salvation Army center's computer lab .
This includes times I've been put up for a while , or been in supposed permanent " post-homeless " sort of places...Which tended not to work out . I am , literally speaking , not homeless right now , with a temporary room in a " post-homeless/help homeless "-type center .
However , aside from being temporary and no tenantship rights , there are enviormental problems with stuff in the very old (By American standards) building which , seriously , I think are affecting me adversely and which have at least , alone , made me think of leaving and being homeless again , to avoid them...However , my body seems to be falling apart so much (Okay , a repeat there , I'm sorry .) and so .....................
I will put up a " My Story " post in The Haven when I can . Watch for it - I'm sure you'll be thrilled/elated 
.
_________________
Renal kidney failure, congestive heart failure, COPD. Can't really get up from a floor position unhelped anymore:-(.
One of the walking wounded ~ SMASHED DOWN by life and age, now prevented from even expressing myself! SOB.
" Oh, no! First you have to PROVE you deserve to go away to college! " ~ My mother, 1978 (the heyday of Andy Gibb and Player). I would still like to go.
My life destroyed by Thorazine and Mellaril - and rape - and the Psychiatric/Industrial Complex. SOB:-(! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!
12 Sep 2016, 7:24 pm
12 Sep 2016, 8:23 pm
...Do you mean that life was painful from 10-35 except for the three years of uni ?
School was painful without any real friends. Just blamed it on my slightly off last name. Till i saw my brother coast through with no issues. Had big problems when i got a job after uni at the age of 25.
Can see now it was stress anxiety and change.
Bulldozed my way through feeling really ill at times then my dad got sick and died and i really brokedown then. Too years to get normal just brute forced going to work.
Then it happened again the breakdown part when i was 35 ish and thats when i got dx.
Working without diagnosis trying to keep up with people who didnt have any issues. Thinkingit must just be me thats broken.
From the age of 10-35 minus the three years a uni life was painful.
Now its just hard. No friends. Just my wife. And work and lonliness. Nothing fulfilling really.
_________________
Renal kidney failure, congestive heart failure, COPD. Can't really get up from a floor position unhelped anymore:-(.
One of the walking wounded ~ SMASHED DOWN by life and age, now prevented from even expressing myself! SOB.
" Oh, no! First you have to PROVE you deserve to go away to college! " ~ My mother, 1978 (the heyday of Andy Gibb and Player). I would still like to go.
My life destroyed by Thorazine and Mellaril - and rape - and the Psychiatric/Industrial Complex. SOB:-(! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!
12 Sep 2016, 8:24 pm
12 Sep 2016, 8:38 pm
...Oh dear . Thank you .
Also, many British Rail stations were over manned by today's standards, so an aspie could end up toilet cleaning, sweeping up, painting.
Also, in the days of 2 percent national unemployment, every hospital had gardeners for instance. The mentality was that there should be jobs provided for all.
The mentality now is that you should do three jobs for half a job's pay, and walk around with glazed eyes in a state of microfascist galvanism at the transcendent bliss of someone else making money out of you.
_________________
Renal kidney failure, congestive heart failure, COPD. Can't really get up from a floor position unhelped anymore:-(.
One of the walking wounded ~ SMASHED DOWN by life and age, now prevented from even expressing myself! SOB.
" Oh, no! First you have to PROVE you deserve to go away to college! " ~ My mother, 1978 (the heyday of Andy Gibb and Player). I would still like to go.
My life destroyed by Thorazine and Mellaril - and rape - and the Psychiatric/Industrial Complex. SOB:-(! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!
12 Sep 2016, 8:48 pm
12 Sep 2016, 9:16 pm
...Like I have . Both .
_________________
Renal kidney failure, congestive heart failure, COPD. Can't really get up from a floor position unhelped anymore:-(.
One of the walking wounded ~ SMASHED DOWN by life and age, now prevented from even expressing myself! SOB.
" Oh, no! First you have to PROVE you deserve to go away to college! " ~ My mother, 1978 (the heyday of Andy Gibb and Player). I would still like to go.
My life destroyed by Thorazine and Mellaril - and rape - and the Psychiatric/Industrial Complex. SOB:-(! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!
SlowMazorati
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: 4 Sep 2016
Age: 1969
Gender: Female
Posts: 41
Location: Wherever the wind blows me.
13 Sep 2016, 8:46 am
ASPartOfMe
Veteran
Joined: 25 Aug 2013
Age: 67
Gender: Male
Posts: 36,005
Location: Long Island, New York
13 Sep 2016, 10:59 am
13 Sep 2016, 11:04 am
I am an Autistic Adult woman. I was not diagnosed until I was almost thirty. Teachers tried to tell my mother something was off but she would NOT hear it. Now I write about my experiences to try and help others like me (sine I now know I am not alone). 
13 Sep 2016, 11:21 am
13 Sep 2016, 12:06 pm
13 Sep 2016, 11:11 pm
.'70 model here. Successfully employed in the aerospace industry (sheltered workshop for aspies!) from age 17. Happily married at 24 to a wife who understands (sometime even appreciates) my brutal honesty. Actually I fell in love with her the first day I met her at an awkward social occasion. I said something, don't remember what, she looked me in the eye and said "That's BS, and you know it!" I knew at that point I was going to do everything I could to marry that woman.
First date I brought a camera and tripod to her family's house, they still joke about that.My In-laws are good with my idiosyncrasies. They understand my heart is in the right place. It took close to a decade with the M.I.L. though.
I struggle with sensitivity towards my teenage daughters.
Most people wouldn't realise I'm any different, I've learned a lot of suitable NT behaviour. On closer inspection I probably appear a little odd. I feel I was born with my foot in my mouth. Busy social interactions leave me feeling exhausted but I get by ok.
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