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wut are social skills

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Fanatic Heretic
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17 Sep 2016, 8:13 am

Social skills can be improved in autistic people. Mine have improved dramatically if you compare the adult me to the child me. But I feel like they reached the limit now, and I can't go any further. Did I improve? Yes. Can I say I have good social skills? Absolutely not, I'm impaired in those and it's evident.

In short, yes, an autistic person can improve their social skills, but you can't be like neurotypicals. You can try to, you can mimic them or learn from them, but there's always a limit. You run into a wall at some point, and hurt yourself. At least, that's my experience.



random1
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17 Sep 2016, 9:52 pm

Fanatic Heretic wrote:
Social skills can be improved in autistic people. Mine have improved dramatically if you compare the adult me to the child me. But I feel like they reached the limit now, and I can't go any further. Did I improve? Yes. Can I say I have good social skills? Absolutely not, I'm impaired in those and it's evident.

In short, yes, an autistic person can improve their social skills, but you can't be like neurotypicals. You can try to, you can mimic them or learn from them, but there's always a limit. You run into a wall at some point, and hurt yourself. At least, that's my experience.

oh
than
y
are they acting like
we MUST have GOOD STRONG social skills
like that
will ever happen


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RabidFox
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18 Sep 2016, 11:17 am

random1 wrote:
Fanatic Heretic wrote:
Social skills can be improved in autistic people. Mine have improved dramatically if you compare the adult me to the child me. But I feel like they reached the limit now, and I can't go any further. Did I improve? Yes. Can I say I have good social skills? Absolutely not, I'm impaired in those and it's evident.

In short, yes, an autistic person can improve their social skills, but you can't be like neurotypicals. You can try to, you can mimic them or learn from them, but there's always a limit. You run into a wall at some point, and hurt yourself. At least, that's my experience.

oh
than
y
are they acting like
we MUST have GOOD STRONG social skills
like that
will ever happen


Who is "They"? Neurotypicals?



random1
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18 Sep 2016, 11:39 am

RabidFox wrote:
random1 wrote:
Fanatic Heretic wrote:
Social skills can be improved in autistic people. Mine have improved dramatically if you compare the adult me to the child me. But I feel like they reached the limit now, and I can't go any further. Did I improve? Yes. Can I say I have good social skills? Absolutely not, I'm impaired in those and it's evident.

In short, yes, an autistic person can improve their social skills, but you can't be like neurotypicals. You can try to, you can mimic them or learn from them, but there's always a limit. You run into a wall at some point, and hurt yourself. At least, that's my experience.

oh
than
y
are they acting like
we MUST have GOOD STRONG social skills
like that
will ever happen


Who is "They"? Neurotypicals?

ye


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RabidFox
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18 Sep 2016, 11:43 am

random1 wrote:
RabidFox wrote:
random1 wrote:
Fanatic Heretic wrote:
Social skills can be improved in autistic people. Mine have improved dramatically if you compare the adult me to the child me. But I feel like they reached the limit now, and I can't go any further. Did I improve? Yes. Can I say I have good social skills? Absolutely not, I'm impaired in those and it's evident.

In short, yes, an autistic person can improve their social skills, but you can't be like neurotypicals. You can try to, you can mimic them or learn from them, but there's always a limit. You run into a wall at some point, and hurt yourself. At least, that's my experience.

oh
than
y
are they acting like
we MUST have GOOD STRONG social skills
like that
will ever happen


Who is "They"? Neurotypicals?

ye


What does "ye" mean?



random1
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18 Sep 2016, 11:52 am

RabidFox wrote:
random1 wrote:
RabidFox wrote:
random1 wrote:
Fanatic Heretic wrote:
Social skills can be improved in autistic people. Mine have improved dramatically if you compare the adult me to the child me. But I feel like they reached the limit now, and I can't go any further. Did I improve? Yes. Can I say I have good social skills? Absolutely not, I'm impaired in those and it's evident.

In short, yes, an autistic person can improve their social skills, but you can't be like neurotypicals. You can try to, you can mimic them or learn from them, but there's always a limit. You run into a wall at some point, and hurt yourself. At least, that's my experience.

oh
than
y
are they acting like
we MUST have GOOD STRONG social skills
like that
will ever happen


Who is "They"? Neurotypicals?

ye


What does "ye" mean?

yes


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friedmacguffins
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18 Sep 2016, 12:18 pm

What short term goal are you trying to accomplish, with others, and how.

Is someone dwelling, too long, between you and a store display. Do you need the elevator go somewhere, or are you lost



random1
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18 Sep 2016, 12:43 pm

friedmacguffins wrote:
What short term goal are you trying to accomplish, with others, and how.

Is someone dwelling, too long, between you and a store display. Do you need the elevator go somewhere, or are you lost

wot


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SocOfAutism
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20 Sep 2016, 8:20 am

People will always have their opinions. It doesn't mean they're right.

Social skills and communication for YOU might be useful to get your needs met and help you to be comfortable. It can be helpful for people to understand you on a deeper level, but this is not always possible.

Sometimes it's best to focus on memorizing simple scripts to use in common situations.

Easy examples that I'm sure you know might be:
-I am hungry.
-I am hurt.
-I want to be alone.
-I want my special interest.

A simple way to improve social skills would be that in certain situations, try to always give a simple script:
-[someone has given you something] thank you.
-[someone is trying to give you something you don't want] no thank you (shake your head).
-[you cannot interpret a look on someone's face]are you okay? [maybe also]what do you want me to do?
-[someone is crying]it will be okay.

Some people are not interested in advancing past this point, or find it too difficult to build social skills past this point. But I don't think one would need to. These basic kinds of phrases should work in almost any situation.



Fanatic Heretic
Tufted Titmouse
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Age: 31
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21 Sep 2016, 11:31 pm

SocOfAutism wrote:
People will always have their opinions. It doesn't mean they're right.

Social skills and communication for YOU might be useful to get your needs met and help you to be comfortable. It can be helpful for people to understand you on a deeper level, but this is not always possible.

Sometimes it's best to focus on memorizing simple scripts to use in common situations.

Easy examples that I'm sure you know might be:
-I am hungry.
-I am hurt.
-I want to be alone.
-I want my special interest.

A simple way to improve social skills would be that in certain situations, try to always give a simple script:
-[someone has given you something] thank you.
-[someone is trying to give you something you don't want] no thank you (shake your head).
-[you cannot interpret a look on someone's face]are you okay? [maybe also]what do you want me to do?
-[someone is crying]it will be okay.

Some people are not interested in advancing past this point, or find it too difficult to build social skills past this point. But I don't think one would need to. These basic kinds of phrases should work in almost any situation.


Very useful. My social skills are more advanced than that. However, at first I thought something like "ok these things are too easy for me", but when I stopped for a while I thought about issues in the receiving objects or people giving me something I don't want.

I know I'm supposed to say thank you or no thanks. However, sometimes it's not so spontaneous for me and I just act awkward if it's strangers. I don't think my body language always matches my words or feelings. It's like I'm just robotic sometimes. This is my own impression.



SocOfAutism
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22 Sep 2016, 7:26 am

Scripts really are wonderful. Neurotypicals use them too and underestimate how helpful they are.

One of the best things I have learned from autistic people is how to use scripts in a more systematic fashion.



yournamehere
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22 Sep 2016, 7:32 am

Social skills are something that anti-social people (sociopaths) do really really well.


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mpe
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23 Sep 2016, 12:29 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
Being able to start conversations.

Knowing when it's your turn to speak during a conversation.

Also including knowing what are "appropriate" topics of conversation.
Knowing when to change the subject and when not to change the subject.
Knowing when, and how, to end conversations.