How Do I Shorten My Speaking/Writing?

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Hi there! My name is Todd and I have a question for you all.

My therapist feels like I need to learn how to shorten what I say. I have a lot of trouble with talking, and I will go on and on, whether it be face to face or in text. The reason I do this is because I don't know any other way to speak. I never feel like people understand what I'm saying unless I keep explaining and explaining what I'm trying to communicate. I go into large amounts of detail. I cannot "hear" what I'm saying and I keep thinking that people don't get whatever I'm trying to tell them.

Instead of just speaking/writing to myself, he wants me to post my attempt on a forum. He feels like feedback is the most important part of the exercise. I felt strange about it, but he encouraged me to do it anyway. So that is what I'm trying to do with this topic.

This is not intended to be a work of fiction, so it doesn't belong in the art/writing section of the forum. It's merely an example of how I speak/write in general and how I am trying to change that.

Basically, I just want to know what you all think about my speaking/writing problems. I'm not sure how to ask the question any better than that.

Here are the examples of my speaking/writing...

I am trying to learn how to speak/write like the following, shortening everything so that I'm not always spelling everything out.


The fox jumped over the log. Then he ran into the forest. He kept running until he was tired. Finally, he realized a hunter was on his trail. A gun was fired and the fox jumped in surprise. The fox retreated, disappearing into the forest. Eventually, he lost the hunter, however, he was exhausted. It was time to sleep despite that the sun was still out. The fox slowly made his way to a shady place under a large rock. He laid down, falling asleep.


This is how I usually speak/write. It doesn't matter what I'm trying to say. I always go into lots of detail.


The fox leapt over a log, running into the forest as fast as he could. Trees and bushes flew past him, the fox a master of living in the wild. The sky was invisible from his place below the thick canopies, but light still managed to shine through the shady forest. The light played on his orange coat, dotting it with shadows.

Suddenly, there was the sound of a gun! The fox jumped, caught entirely off guard. A hunter was on his trail! The fox tried to retreat, but the hunter managed to keep up with him and cut him off. Gun steadily aimed on the animal, the hunter took another shot, this time much closer to hitting his target. The fox's heart raced with fear and his body filled with adrenaline. His feet bounded across the forest, eventually losing the hunter.

He was exhausted. He had to rest immediately. However, his den was far off. The fox took a short break, laying on the ground first to catch his breath, and then he got back up on his feet and started searching for a place to sleep. After a while, he came upon a large rock. Below it was a comfortable place and it was even more shaded than the rest of the forest. Despite that the sun was still out, the fox laid underneath the rock and soon fell asleep.


Hopefully, that gives you some insight into my problems. Any feedback is greatly appreciated.

Nothing wrong with your writing.

But, in everyday conversation, it's difficult to others to listen to you if you speak exactly how you write.

You have to separate the two. When you're speaking, you have to be more "on point" than when you're writing.

I haven't noticed anything wrong with your writing. Some people might have short attention spans. Instead of $50 words, you should use $5 word if both words have the same meaning.

When you speak, you should always get to the point, rather than express all sides of an issue. In general, each thought in spoken conversation should be shorter than in your writing. Getting to the heart of the matter is very important.

Hi, RabidFox,

I have some background as an editor. Part of that entails shortening other people's writing. Below is my edited version of your post:


Hi there! My name is Todd and I have a question.

My therapist feels like I need to learn how to shorten what I say. I have a lot of trouble with talking, and I will go on and on, whether it be face to face or in text. The reason I do this is because I don't know any other way to speak. I never feel like people understand what I'm saying unless I keep explaining and explaining what I'm trying to communicate. I go into large amounts of detail. I cannot "hear" what I'm saying and I keep thinking that people don't get it.

Instead of just speaking/writing to myself, he wants me to post my attempt on a forum. He feels like feedback is the most important part of the exercise. I felt strange about it, but he encouraged me to do it anyway. So that is what I'm trying to do with this topic.

This is an example of how I speak/write.

The fox leapt over a log, running into the forest as fast as he could. Trees and bushes flew past him. The sky was invisible from his place below the thick canopies, but light still managed to shine through the shady forest. The light played on his orange coat, dotting it with shadows.

Suddenly, there was the sound of a gun! The fox jumped, caught entirely off guard. A hunter was on his trail! The fox tried to retreat, but the hunter kept up with him and cut him off. Gun steadily aimed on the animal, the hunter took another shot, this time much closer to hitting his target. The fox's heart raced with fear and his body filled with adrenaline. His feet bounded across the forest, eventually losing the hunter.

He was exhausted. However, his den was far off. The fox laid on the ground to catch his breath. Then he got back up on his feet and started searching for a place to sleep. After a while, he came upon a large rock. Below it was a comfortable place, even more shaded than the rest of the forest. Despite that the sun was still out, the fox laid underneath the rock and soon fell asleep.

Hopefully, that gives you some insight into my problems. Any feedback is greatly appreciated.

You will notice that I deleted 5 of your paragraphs.

...

The second paragraph was quite vivid,and dramatic. Go with that if your purpose is to entertain in text.

But if you're purpose is to speak in person about yourself then its better to think first, and then to get to the 'nub' of the issue first before you speak. And its usually better to start with the conclusion first, and to tell the background after (if at all)if your purpose is to inform, but not to entertain. Especially in a job situation.

If you were the fox in that story, and were speaking to another fox in person then you would say "I had a hard day that included almost getting killed by a hunter so I need some shut eye right now!" instead of telling a long story like you did in both paragraphs.

But in some contexts you might go with the second long version (like if you were entertaining your little grandkit foxes with tales of escape and daring around the campfire).

I don't see anything with the way you write at all.

For writing before you write think of the main ideas you are trying to get across and write them down as bullet points. After writing your paper or post but before submitting it, look at your work and see what is only indirectly related or not related to the main points you are trying to express and eliminate those. Look at your work again and eliminate anything that expresses the same thing as something written earlier.

This method will be difficult for speaking because there is no time to think. But as you learn the skill of getting to the point it will help you with speaking also.

After talking to a person for a short bit. Ask them if they get it, and then get them to explain what they understand back to you. That way you can find out if they have, in fact understood you.

Also with writing get good at writing a synopsis.
Do that with your favourite books, and if you being with a page.
Then set a goal for a paragraph, then a sentence!
It will be a big challenge, but it will be fun, and you'll become quite smart. Possibly even funny.

Star Wars. Oh that's about daddy issues.

See.

Star Trek. Bored humans with a warp drive seek adventure.

Hello, Todd! I cannot help you because I have the same trait. I don't know any other way to be, either. I am exactly the same and I genuinely find it very difficult to summarise long communications succinctly. I am in awe and extreme puzzlement at how other people manage to do it.

I think that to a certain extent, you can try to exercise self-control and make yourself talk / write less, but it's very hard indeed. In my experience, my attempts to do so usually fail and feel awkward and lead to high levels of anxiety. If you're constantly monitoring yourself and wondering "am I talking too much? Have I said too much already? Should I stop now?" then you cannot be your true self and be happy and relaxed when communicating.

I have a theory that may apply to you also: I think that the reason I talk and write so much is that I think a lot, and therefore I have a lot of thoughts to communicate. I am a very detailed person and when thinking, I think about all the details. Therefore, when talking / writing to convey my thoughts to others, I communicate all the details also.

Of course, reaching this conclusion doesn't solve anything. It only provides insight and a bit of self-knowledge, but will not stop other people complaining "you talk too much" and "you write too much".

AngryAngryAngry: your summaries of Star Wars and Star Trek are quite funny. Why don't you start a new thread somewhere and turn it into a synopsis game that everyone can contribute to?

I give myself rules.

Is it necessary?
Kind?
Helpful?
Extra information?

I also try to stop and give a pause to see if someone else wants to talk. It is ALL with GREAT effort and sometimes I still ramble. :-/

I am extraordinarily verbose on many occasions, so I completely sympathize with your situation. While it has caused some people to tease me or possibly feel threatened by how much I have to say, however, I have found that others also compliment me for how thorough and nuanced my opinions are when I air them. If I can toot my own horn for a second, it's been a long time since (to my knowledge) I actually offended someone with anything I said, even when discussing something very sensitive, because I go to so many pains in my phrasing and consideration for all dimensions of what I'm about to declare. So, I frankly view excessive clarity as far superior to excessive brevity in most cases.

Obviously, there are times when it's still good for me to pare down what I'm trying to say, check how much time has passed since I started talking, get to the point, or simply to not even say anything at all. But whatever method you may find for doing the same, I personally view our mutual challenge as a talent— just a talent that needs to be contextually managed.

Thank you for all of the replies.

Omit unnecessary words.