My younger brother is thinking about children. I'm feeling b

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Starfoxx
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30 Oct 2016, 6:15 pm

He is 16 and is saying that he'd like to have children when he is older. Maybe at 21 or 25. Apparently my dad made a joke wondering who would have kids first and i think him too. l am kinda surprised. Also my cousins are also thinking of children. He would make a good father in the future I expect.

Thing is though I don't think I'll ever have children and I'm not interested to or even to have a partner. I don't want to disappoint my dad, my brother thinks he would take be disappointed but there seems to be pressure that women should have children.

One time when i was a teenager i said i might not have any and he said everybody does but im not sure if it was a light hearted joke or an expectation.

Nobody in my family is opening wanting me to do that and they aren't pressuring me but I feel kinda bad even though I don't have a reason to. :-/



broccolichowder
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01 Nov 2016, 12:07 am

When I was a teenager, people would make comments like 'When you have children' and I'd tell them that I never wanted kids. They'd always respond with something like 'you'll change your mind.' I'm older now, and I don't want to have kids. I almost feel bad because something-something-something carrying on lineage something-something. But if I don't want kids, why should I?

Society tells us that we have to procreate. It's a natural desire that most people have. Some people have it more strongly than others. Some of us never want to have kids. Either way is fine. I know NTs who don't want to have kids. A hundred years ago, that would have been a shock. But as time goes on, we see more and more people growing up and not having children.

It's your life. Use it responsibly. Raising children is hard work, and every time I see a crying child or cranky toddler, I remember that those parents don't get a break - when you're a parent, you're always a parent. I can't handle that sort of responsibility, and I believe that for me the best thing is to not procreate. There is no reason for me to bring more children in this world if I can't handle them and have no desire to have them in the first place. If you feel that you don't want to have children, that's perfectly fine. Maybe you'll grow up and realize that you want kids. Maybe you'll stick with your current desire to not have children. Either way is acceptable.


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MagicMeerkat
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01 Nov 2016, 8:21 am

I made up my mind at four years old, yes four years old that I was never going to get married when I grew up, let alone have children. I'm 29 now and haven't changed my mind. I had to have a hysterectomy at age 23 due to my menstrual cycles causing anemia, so I won't ever be having kids.


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