I'm new here, need some advice please!

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Hi, I'm new in the forums. It's nice to see a forum on internet for people with autism like me. I'm 18 years old and living in Turkey. Please keep reading because I really need some help! Ok I'm starting to tell my short biography.

I was always quiet and shy. I was favourite student of my elementary school (10/11 years ago) teacher because I was following all the school rules and I was good at lessons. I always knew that I'm too shy but I didn't know I'm autistic, until I watched a film... I watched a film called "Ben X" when I was 11 or 12 or 13 years old. The main character had autism and had problems with school. I was exactly like him. A year later my parents took me to a doctor and my asperger confirmed. We went to other doctors and some of them said I have social anxiety, some of them didn't even have an idea.

After some years later, I became a lonely boy of the classroom and I couldn't find a permanent friend in my high school life. But I didn't search for a friend neither. I didn't start a friendly chat with someone, I just answered to what other people said. Most people thought I don't want to talk with them. But I was shy, I couldn't start a conversation with them. Now I finished high school with hardships. I dont know why I wrote my whole life. Maybe I needed to introduce myself. Now I need advices about my future life!

My parents say that I should study hard and go to a university. But I say that even if I finish a university, I won't be able to get a job, because I have aspergers syndrome. I like software programming so I want to do some job/work about it. I'm skilled about programming trust me, I'm interested and engaged since I was 11/12 years old. But the obstacle is university and social aspects of jobs.

What should I do?

Thanks for reading and help!

You should continue with your education.

Many people with Aspergers are able to get jobs.

Ok sir

Also, look into different forms of higher education that work best for you:
• Large 4-year university
• Smaller 2-year local community college
• Technical school
• Online university
• Internships
• Apprenticeships

And look into any accommodations that you can get for your specific needs. Good luck, Awkward.

_________________
31st of July, 2013
Diagnosed: Autism Spectrum Disorder, Auditory-Verbal Processing Speed Disorder, and Visual-Motor Processing Speed Disorder.

Weak Emerging Social Communicator (The Social Thinking-­Social Communication Profile by Michelle Garcia Winner, Pamela Crooke and Stephanie Madrigal)

"I am silently correcting your grammar."

The statistics I've seen suggest 80% of us are under-employed or unemployed. The trick is to become one of the 20%.

My diagnosis came late (in my early 40s). I am one of the 80%. I didn't seek higher education, but just took work wherever I could. I mowed lawns, worked in factories, milked cows and picked fruit.

Now I have to compete with young people in a state (Tasmania) with few jobs. I haven't worked in several years.

Do NOT be like me.

If you have the opportunity to gain a higher education, then do it. Yes, you might still be unemployed. But, hopefully, you'll increase your chances.

After all this time, I have become convinced that my mistake was to lack an employment goal. By being willing to do 'anything', I ended up with nothing.

Have a goal. Climb there, not like a ladder, but rather like a mountain. A ladder is too straight forward and not like life. Mountains sometimes offer a track, sometimes a ledge, sometimes a hole. Take what is best on offer, but keep your eyes on the summit.

Education is the foundation of the climb. The base of the mountain.

Determine your desired summit, determine the correct mountain. Climb.

Programming is an awesome skill and will certainly be needed in the future.

As for social skills. I sucks at informal socialising real bad but for formal things like how to behave and talk at work/ to a teacher etc I can do as well as a 'normal' person and sometimes seem skilled socially. For things that have a set way to be i think you can practice and you will improve. If you know how to behave and talk in a given situation don't be nervous, be bold and take on the role you must be like.

For informal things like making friends and dealing with banter/teasing I still haven't learnt, so can't help there.

You can certainly improve though.

Programming is, maybe, the BEST field for an Aspie. I was in computers, in SEVERAL different aspects, including programming, for about 30 years----it's FULL of geeks, nerds, and socially awkward people, like us!!

As for worrying about college: In some ways, it's WAY different from school, in that people are a bit more mature, and they're free of their parents (if not physically, at least because they are of legal age), and they're interested in / anxious to explore their own, individual being; so, often, that makes them less likely to pick on somebody ELSE who's trying to "find" themselves. Also, things change (attitudes about life in general, for instance) when people are participating in classes that they WANT to be in.

SOMETIMES, it can be as bad as school----for instance, you still might encounter people who will pick on you / make fun of you; but, by-and-large, they seem to be fewer-and-farther, between.

Bottom line: You will have struggles the rest-of-your-life, because of your Autism----sometimes, really bad struggles (socially, for instance); sometimes, really mild (you've got a good brain)----but, if you DON'T go to college, you will regret it, for the rest-of-your-life. Your skills will increase, over time, in regard to what you learn to do to compensate for your short-comings (Aspie-ness)----BUT, your chances / choices of employment will decrease, over time, without a degree.

Thanks for replies. I decided to continue studying for university exam (March 2017). Because I will be more confident at least, even if I can't find a job. I don't want to regret. Maybe I can try open university.

But I have some other questions. I am studying at home (living with my family). How many hours should I study per day? What other activities can I do? I have no close friends. I am too antisocial. Please help.

What are your special interests?

Is your family very secular, or religious?

I bet you live in a nice part of Istanbul.

You can actually do programming? So what's the problem?

Just keep studying programming in college and get your degree in that. An aspie programmer with the social skills of a musk smelling polecat has better employment prospects than does a NT with perfect social skills, and who looks like he just stepped off the cover of GQ magazine,but who cant program.Or that's the impression I get.

You should try stepping outside of your self and asking someone how they're doing. People love to talk about themselves. Once they do, they'll ask you about your life, and they'll probably form some kind of liking or companionship with you.

You have got to do things that are uncomfortable when socializing. You have to push past your social anxiety. It makes things difficult, but not impossible. Aspergers does not mean it's impossible to become social.

It means that it might be difficult and take much more effort than other people. But if you want a successful job, you at least have got to try.

Hope this is helpful.

Thank you people. I still have some questions in my mind. I will go outside, and I will do something uncomfortable for me, it's ok. But the problem is that I don't have any friend groups to hang out. So I dont know where to start socializing. In past years I've been in some social areas like school and gym. But now I just go for a walk, go to supermarket, etc...

My mom suggested me to attend a course (guitar course, computer course, english course or painting course..). I didn't accept because I'm unconfident and they will bully me.

Where are the best places to start socializing, except the internet or social media? I need a place which is good for socializing and safe and easy for aspies.

I wouldn't entirelly discount your online social skills.

You're clearly articulate and well spoken.

There are plenty of online companies out there who need people to help them.

I was once employed just for spending time on a forum and posting on projects. I also interacted with business customers who frequented the forum and needed help with the products.

That's Technical Support. Just posting on a forum can be worth money to a company. An active presence is important for business. Imagine if you called a shop to buy something and nobody picked up the phone? You'd go somewhere else, right?

If you get on with the staff then they might even let you into their secret lair where all the shady deals are happening. Also...the dreaded ticket system. Clearance Level 5 required.

You see...There's no such thing as "a job in programming".

You don't just hit keys on the keyboard and get paid for it. You don't create random loops that do nothing and get paid for it.

You need to find out what you actually want to achieve with programming. What are you really interested in?

For example...

If you were interested in robotics then there might be work for you in Animatronics. So you'd get yourself involved with forums, social groups and businesses that create robot creatures for film sets, zoo attractions, novelties for casino's and the like. You'd probably be working from home much of the time once you had the correct equipment...I think they're using err...Arduino, Beagle Bone's and Raspberry Pi's these days. There's plenty of room to go it alone in a niche industry like this. Otherwise, you might get involved with the manufacturing industry. Programming, trouble shooting and maintaining mechanical devices in factories? Some of which can be done remotely...no need to visit.