Delayed emotional reaction

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I have been criticized for not bieng emotional enough when something traumatic happens and when my delayed emotion kicks in for not bieng over it. No I am first getting into it.

I often experience initial strong emotional reactions as being something nebulous and undefinable, a sort of "swirly" feeling. This can be practically anything big, positive or negative. It may take hours or days for the emotions to resolve into something I can understand, almost as though they are some sort of tangled knot I have to unsnarl. My wife sometimes asks me how I'm feeling, and I honestly say, "I don't know." At first she thought I was not willing to tell her, but I really was being honest. A positive feeling may just emerge on its own ("oh, I guess I am relieved about this") but a negative feeling may get triggered by something else, possibly something minor. So I may be upset about getting into trouble at work, but not start feeling angry or crying until I get upset by something else, like watching something on TV.

This is true for me. It seems like the only emotion I can feel on time is anger which is not a good thing.

I usually don't freeze but I have the delayed emotional reactions. It also has a good side as it makes me a lot more efficient and reliable in a crisis situation - in my case no emotions equal no panic.

I was looking to see if other people with aspergers give the wrong emotional response to the one they later feel. I can't stay in a relationship because if someone is unreasonable in my mind I get really logical and frustrated. At the most distressed but seem angry. What I know I'm supposed to do is cry but I dont.

I cry if someone dies (I sobbed a lot over Leonard Cohen) and AFTER my partner just left me but while he was leaving I kept thinking "he's being really unreasonable" and appeared really cold towards the situation apparently. A little while after he'd walked out of the door, the tears came but it was too late.

I do this every time and he's very sensitive and quite unreasonably so, so I upset him a lot with my reactions. In the early days, before I got more confident with him I would just shut down and he could manage that. He would think about what he'd done and apologise and be tender with me but now he runs off like a frightened rabbit when he was the one to hurt me in the first place...

Does anyone have any advice about controlling a need to correct people if they're inaccurate and to give myself a chance to just feel hurt instead?!

I was looking to see if other people with aspergers give the wrong emotional response to the one they later feel. I can't stay in a relationship because if someone is unreasonable in my mind I get really logical and frustrated. At the most distressed but seem angry. What I know I'm supposed to do is cry but I dont.

I cry if someone dies (I sobbed a lot over Leonard Cohen) and AFTER my partner just left me but while he was leaving I kept thinking "he's being really unreasonable" and appeared really cold towards the situation apparently. A little while after he'd walked out of the door, the tears came but it was too late.

I do this every time and he's very sensitive and quite unreasonably so, so I upset him a lot with my reactions. In the early days, before I got more confident with him I would just shut down and he could manage that. He would think about what he'd done and apologise and be tender with me but now he runs off like a frightened rabbit when he was the one to hurt me in the first place...

Does anyone have any advice about controlling a need to correct people if they're inaccurate and to give myself a chance to just feel hurt instead?!