I think my student has autism. How/should I bring it up?

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I teach at a community college and every semester have a few high schoolers doing dual credit in my classes. This semester one of them, a girl of about 14 or so, I very strongly suspect has autism/Asperger's. I have seen a lot of traits like no eye contact, she does not look at me or the board much but is obviously paying attention because she always has the right answer, she remembers highly detailed random facts many classes later, gets very tense the moment I mention splitting into groups (I let her opt out and work individually whenever possible), she does not get sarcasm at all, she is very awkward socially and keeps to herself, etc.

Because I am not a teacher at her high school, I cannot simply look up whether she has a 504 or IEP, therefore in order to find out if she already has a diagnosis I would have to ask her or her parents directly. I am nervous about this because I am not sure how she/they might react given the media representation of autism, and I feel that she is comfortable with me and don't want to damage that relationship.

On the other hand, if she does not know yet, finding out at a relatively young age could be a huge help and she is still young enough to get school services, or at least an explanation could be comforting. Plus she is not so young as to be put in a potentially damaging elementary school spec ed classroom. This could be an opportune age to find out.

If I bring it up and she does have a diagnosis, just knowing that I am also autistic could be encouraging for her and her parents. She could potentially look at me and see how well I manage to "fit in" and be inspired that she can have a good future.

Then if I do choose to bring it up, I am inclined to talk to her parents first, because she is a minor and they might have strong opinions on the subject, and I feel it would be respectful to them. Thoughts?

When I taught high school, I could have gone to her guidance counselor or the spec ed team and ask them, and the college does have those, but she is not a regular college student, she's just taking the one class.

Any advice? Thoughts?

I think you should bring it up.

I'm sorry. I know this is hard, but you cannot suggest autism to her parents. To do so would be you acting outside of your rights/domain/scope-of-practice as a teacher.

You can bring up concerns with her social readiness for collage. These advanced classes aren't just about higher material. They are about all of the aspects of launching kids well into the collage life. So, saying that you have noted things such as lack of eye contact, while also noting her excellent work, is fine.

There's a pretty solid chance this family already knows that their daughter is on the spectrum. But if she doesn't require special education because she's doing great in her classes, it stops being the business of her school.

Think about it. What we are talking about is very private, potentially stigmatizing, personal medical information. Would you want a teacher bringing autism concerns to your parents? Even if you were doing great in class?

Don't.

A couple of things you can do: You can teach about autism in your classroom. You can befriend the young woman. You can talk about your own experiences if you want to. As her teacher, you have the right to go to her high school counselors just like any of her other teachers. You are her public education right now. The counselor might not see it the same way, in which case, you would have to do all the talking. The counselor wouldn't be able to talk back to you. But you can call the school's special education team or the guidance counselor. There are no rules against that.

I would not recommend asking. If you notice specific issues, I suppose you can address them, but I think you should only do so if she actually needs help with them, not just because it's part of what you think she may have.

A lot of people would not appreciate having a diagnosis shoved down their throat. I should know, I'm one of them. And if she has it and knows it and doesn't want attention brought to it, she won't appreciate you bringing it up.
Quite frankly just reading this makes me so glad I'm through with school now that teachers know more about what to look for.

If she has it and doesn't know, there is freedom in that too. You can never get back the freedom of not knowing. You can never see yourself the same way again once you know.

If somebody - in private and with my interests considered - could have told me that my "wiring might be unusual" and that there might be alternative solutions to life problems by taking that wiring into account then I'd like to think I'd have been interested to learn about it.

I was hated by all 1000 students including teachers in my school. If somebody could have explained that this wasn't entirely my fault (The opposite was explained to me) and that it was typical for "people like me" to experience such a degree of ostracism from "the others" then maybe I could have started focusing upon my future and the skills required to survive in that future rather than giving up and becoming preoccupied by the thought of suicide.

My survival to this day is little more than spitting in the eye of humanity. Really. If I killed myself at any point, then or now, it would just make pleasure for people. Unfortunately for them, I'm not that kind of masochist.

This is one of those situations where you have to make a decision. Risk everything by having a personal one-on-one chat with the girl that could potentially "open some doors" for her but probably get you sacked. Or just be a jobsworth drone like most people these days - because the bureaucracy forces people to be like that - and ignore her. Maybe she'll finally kill herself one day or succeed in life as a ten dollar crack-whore while society and everyone who knew her smiles on.

If she isn't experiencing any ACTUAL problems, then no.

You would bet?

So really, you're just mouthing off?

Because my "implication" was that if this girl doesn't get told that she's neurologically different than the general population then the chances are she'll live a life being abused and manipulated by that population. One way or another.

She needs to be empowered by her strengths and not used for her weaknesses.

If that's a problem for you. And that I still give a damn to care about these issues after all the abuse I experieced and that's a problem for you. Get stuffed.

I'm done here. Good bye.

I agree with somanyspoons. If you bring up your own experiences and/or work autism into the curriculum, you would be able to teach her about it and perhaps spark an insight in her, allowing her to draw her own conclusions. If she's doing college courses at 14, she's clearly bright enough to understand.

I don't think you should bring it up.

You are all bringing up very, very good points, both for and against. My difficulty is that I understand all these points and the potential positive and negative consequences of both sides, and that is why I have been waffling since I started suspecting in the second week of the semester. I am less concerned about my job (though I understand the rules are there for a good reason, most of the time) than about how she and her family might react, and how the mere suggestion of autism, whether they already know about it or not, could potentially benefit and empower or burden and hurt her.

I have talked to students and teachers a few times before when I have noticed symptoms in the teens or young adults that suggested Irlen syndrome to me (since I have it, I notice certain things), to generally very positive and grateful responses. But there is a huge difference between bringing up a light sensitivity vs. autism.

The idea I liked the best is to just bring it in to the curriculum or bring it up casually and wait for her to approach me, but the big problem with that is that I am not "out" publicly yet, and am not sure if I am ready to be. Certain people know, I would be fine telling her, and I don't feel that it is a secret, really, but if I bring it up in class, I can never put that genie back in the bottle, so to speak.

I can see both sides in the issues raised here by everyone.

But also, bear in mind that -- should it so happen that this girl or her family do NOT know she may have autism/ she's not diagnosed or acknowledged as such -- then 14 is a devastating age to learn something new about yourself even IF that new knowledge might actually lead to helping you ultimately.

Sure it's a great age to start early with help if help is needed.

But it's also an age where a person is desperate to fit in and imagine that they are exactly like their peers in every way.

14 is an age where being told you're different would be incredibly painful.

If it's not already known to her and her family and her school, then it could come as a bombshell to her.

I don't know what IS a good age, however. It wasn't enjoyable for me in my 40s but it REALLY would have ruptured my world at 14.

I don't know when is a good age to be told this stuff. I do wish I had known earlier in life. I do think things would have turned out differently. But at the same time, I know it would have hurt like hell.

Why can't you just teach about autism?

That would kill two birds with one stone.

(LOL...I wasn't thinking of BirdInFlight when I wrote that aphorism).

No sweat, didn't think you were!

I agree, just having a very generalized class discussion about autism might be one way to do it, without the OP disclosing her own, or directly challenging the student about her possible autism.