Are people just pretending to be interested in your interest

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I put a hybrid bird on the screen of my phone. My uncle said "oh, that's pretty, what is that?" So I started telling him about it when suddenly he plugged his ears and said "la la la!" My husband said "why did you do that when shes doing that?"

Anyway I thought my uncle had some interest in the bird and I could tell the story, but what he did reminded me of my childhood. My uncle says "I was just playing"

But my uncle doing that could be a problem with him.... what do I do?

Your uncle probably thought he was joking around with you. Even as a joke it's a bit unkind though.

I find personally that people I know don't try to show interest in my interests -- I don't really know anyone who cares enough to expend the energy on pretending unless they mean business, literally. I just had two people who don't even know me that well buy something I've designed, for fairly serious money that is going to pay a couple of bills. I don't think they were just pretending to like my stuff.

Last edited by BirdInFlight on 11 Nov 2016, 3:22 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I remember when I was around 14-15 I had an intense obsession with some guys I knew of that lived locally, and my cousins (who I saw a lot) faked interest in them too. I knew they were kind of faking an interest, but because I was SO obsessed, I just took advantage of that. My youngest cousin (who was only 7 at the time) actually got unintentionally influenced by me to become obsessed too.

If they're not telling us right out that they hate whatever we're interested in they're doing a feeble attempt at pretending. And yet we're supposed to be interested in whatever nonsense it is *they're* babbling about.

Yeah, it happened. It's a great and nice surprise if you can find some who are truly interested in them.

A good way to find out if people are truly interested is to notice if they are using "small talk". Small talk is the stereotypical and/or cookie cutter comments that 99% of people I encounter use. These are always about the weather, current events, sports, etc. Also, when someone asks you how you are, DO NOT use the standard fine, OK, good, etc. Tell them how you really are and eventually you will find someone who is interested in the real you. This works both ways as well. If someone is telling you their life story, then you should humor them instead of brushing them off.

I think what your uncle did was uncalled for. But my guess is that he was indicating that you were giving him an information overload. My dad once said about someone he works with, that if you ask him what time it is, he builds you a clock. Meaning he gives long answers to simple questions.

As a kid, no. They didn't even pretend, they wanted me to not have the obsession in the first place. I would have been GRATEFUL for someone to pretend.

As an adult, I could care less. I'm not really comfortable sharing my interests unless I already know the other person knows what I'm talking about or at least has an idea and is has a pre-existing interest themselves.

None of us were there to witness the conversation. But it sounds like the issue is not whether or not the person was interested in the topic. Its that you always monologue at length.

If he had said "oh! a hybrid bird? WTF are you talking about?" you could add an extra tidbit about it. And then if he dropped hints that he wanted to hear more, you could give him more info, and then if it turned into a back and forth conversation then it would all be fine. But you probably just launched into a long lecture about the subject without being invited to do so.

I would have punched him in the mouth or spat on him.

I think people pretend to be interested in my interests and then I get really excited because I think they are genuinely interested, and I go on and on about them until they walk away and then I realise they weren't actually interested at all. I can't tell if someone's genuinely interested or not.