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Is it hard for you when people leave?

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FandomConnection
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24 Nov 2016, 3:52 am

jcfay wrote:
Jacoby wrote:
I've been there, I don't have a lot of people that I am close to in my life or people that I can call friends so when it is very painful to say goodbye to teachers and others that I've bonded with. I get depressed, woe is me, everyone leaves, everything is fleeting, I can't trust anyone, I can't let anyone get close, it's just a lot of awful feelings.


this pretty much describes my experience too. Mostly with girlfriends. I think some of us on the spectrum are probably far more likely to experience really profound and maybe a more intense feeling of loss, alienation, etc. when relationships go away or dissolve. So this definitely applies to me. Hell, I was inconsolable when my cat died who I'd had for 15 years. I mean I was REALLY a wreck!


I suppose being unable to easily make friends ensures that friendships are greatly appreciated, unlike with sociable NTs who take it for granted. Also, having only a few close friends makes it more horrible to lose one compared to somebody with a large network of friends. I've never had a romantic relationship with anyone, so I cannot comment on that, but I completely understand being so upset about the death of a pet.


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Feralucce
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24 Nov 2016, 4:20 pm

For me... it is devastating... Just had a break up and it's killing me


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glider18
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24 Nov 2016, 9:56 pm

Many of us on the autism spectrum like to adhere to routines. These are the consistencies in our lives. And when something interferes with our routines, then we often get upset and anxiety ridden. Often times these routines involve the people around us. We find comfort in knowing that each day will offer us roughly the same things and people we have grown accustomed to. So I think it is only natural that many of us on the spectrum would get distressed when people who have been part of our routine leave. We like things to stay the same.


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25 Nov 2016, 2:17 am

glider18 wrote:
Many of us on the autism spectrum like to adhere to routines. These are the consistencies in our lives. And when something interferes with our routines, then we often get upset and anxiety ridden. Often times these routines involve the people around us. We find comfort in knowing that each day will offer us roughly the same things and people we have grown accustomed to. So I think it is only natural that many of us on the spectrum would get distressed when people who have been part of our routine leave. We like things to stay the same.


True. I see what you mean. :D


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I find it easiest to connect with people through the medium of fandoms, and enjoy the feeling of solidarity.
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mr.freeze
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25 Nov 2016, 10:04 am

glider18 wrote:
Many of us on the autism spectrum like to adhere to routines. These are the consistencies in our lives. And when something interferes with our routines, then we often get upset and anxiety ridden. Often times these routines involve the people around us. We find comfort in knowing that each day will offer us roughly the same things and people we have grown accustomed to. So I think it is only natural that many of us on the spectrum would get distressed when people who have been part of our routine leave. We like things to stay the same.


Perfect.


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