Desperately need advice from male virgins

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I've been interested in this man for a while now and I think the feelings are mutual, we've got similar interests and we enjoy each others company. He's a 36 year old (suspected virgin). I am 35 and very experienced sexually although I'm not so much experienced with being intimate with someone because I've been hurt. Last night we were pashing on the couch and we did stay up all night doing so. But earlier on in the piece he stopped what we were doing and said he doesn't think I'm the girl for him as a life long partner. We talked some about it then he changed his mind about it and we resumed kissing and touching but with more passion. Today when he came over he seemed distant and cold from me when I went to give him a hug goodbye. Its hard now to tell if he likes me. I don't care that he's a virgin and I'm respectful of that. Is his hot and cold behaviour because he's not sure about me or is it because he lacks experience? I really like him and want to be with him.

It might be a kneejerk reaction to you trying to be intimate. I lost my virginity relatively late, at 27, it was really difficult at first with my girlfriend, I'd recommend taking it slow, but what you've done isn't exactly outrageous.

My suggestion is to be very blunt and direct with your communications. Make sure he knows exactly what you want. Tell him outloud what you are thinking.

It could be that he is equating sex with committment. And if that isn't your thought process, you need to let him know this.

It could also be that he's got sensory issues with sex, where he wants it but can't handle parts of actually following through. That's a really ruff spot to be in. To get around it takes time and open communication. Again, open, honest, and blunt.

I think, if he's really that inexperienced, he's probably pretty freaked out about the whole thing. So, he probably doesn't know if it's that you are not potentially the right partner for him or if he's just afraid of the whole sex thing. It feels VERY big when you delay that long. It's hard to sort out all of the emotions.