Still in denial of Aspergers (or whatever)

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I still am not sure that I have Aspergers. The only reason this is a concern is because of my short and limited employment history and I don't now where to start in terms of talking about this and acknowledging it. I'm only talking about this now at 30 because my family has been noticing that I fly off the handle when my parents touch my stuff and employment reasons.

One way of getting a hint could be these tests:

http://www.lifeonthespectrum.net/blog/?page_id=1188

It's more than that. Seems like a lot of the tests say I have it. It's just accepting it and stuff. Processing all this though

If your life is ok in most other respects, you could decide to live with the knowledge, that you are somewhere on the spectrum. There is nothing sickly or "wrong" with that. You are just different from most people.

If you haven´t done so already, you could read Tony Attwoods "Comlete guide to Aspergers Syndrome". It covers all grades and variants in both men and women. It is a very good introduction - far better than any online test.

There is a lot of good Tony Attwood talks/inteviews/speeches on youtube as well.

I hope you had a great thanksgiving. I just don't know how to process this information/knowledge for the good. Like I know that since my issues are affecting work and finding a great career, I go to DOR and get referred to an autism employment specialist.

I just don't know how to tell all the people that I blew off with whatever action(s) I did to piss them off. Boy let me tell ya, my rap sheet is long as f**k.

It's not really about the knowledge of having aspergers that is scary...it's not knowing what we're supposed to do about it that is....I've always known I was different but I've heard a long time ago that everybody's different... So I thought different was the norm...it's only through adulthood that I realized that my kind of different is not what the saying was referring to...and to be honest you can call me NT or call me aspie...it doesn't matter unless you can tell me what to about it...

On the AQ test I scored 27 on the 70 question test I've scored an average of 133 first test was just for the heck of it I scored 124 the second one I scored 142...I'm not really sure though if I did it correctly..... It's more of a language barrier and memory issue...you know what.. I don't feel any different...

The tests are screening tools and pick up the traits and some of them do form part of recognised diagnostic procedures.

The gave me a bit of a shake up when I took them and found I was sitting on the thresholds - a bit over on some and just under on others.

The set me off on a quite interesting two years looking over how I did things in life, areas which have Always been difficult, other areas I seem toi do well without really having to work hard.

My view of myself varied quite a bit, somedays thinking, "Yes Probably Autistic in some way" and otehr days thinking "No way, being self indulgent.

But, my suspicions which were the reasons why I went looking for some of those tests "just for a bit of fun and curiosity" were confirmed this week when I had an assessment which has identified me as Autistic.

The test scores two years ago were the thinks which shook me up.

By the time it came to seeking an assessment the research I had been doing had settled my mind that I was probably autistic, and the assessment outcome was a confirmation of my conclusions I found actually rather pleasing - like having a research projects results reproduced by a much more experienced person.

You always have to observe small words in those tests, like "Have you...." as opposed to "Have you ever....". the answers may be quite different.

Hello everyone,

Thank you for the replies. It seems as though whether I accept a diagnosis or the fact that I have this will be irrelevant as all I am thinking about right now is getting a better paying job and to be in a "career" as my family has been harping about this weekend.

It seems as though I have landed in this conclusion because some folks said I might have AS and because it's affecting my ability to make a decent living...

sorry to bother you...but can you explain the difference between the two and give examples if possible....because to me they are the same...it would really help me get a more accurate result on my next take on the test....thank you ....

Last edited by neurotypicalET on 27 Nov 2016, 6:59 am, edited 1 time in total.

Yeah, man, I get what you mean. I think it's a part of late diagnosis. You're grown up enough to know who you are and it doesn't feel natural to get some tacky new label.

I was f***ing furious when my therapist suggested AS. This could be quite upsetting for some users to read, and I'm sorry for that, but I was disgusted at being what was my interpretation of an Aspie. Even the word Aspie makes me feel queasy a few months after diagnosis.

However, I got used to it over time, realised that a diagnosis isn't much more than a label and I hadn't changed. If anything, it's a useful insight into yourself which you can use to improve your life.

Keep in mind that most autism/disability employment agencies are just going to get you a slingin' hash and digging a hole type job. If you are looking for a white collar job or something in your experience area, you are more or less on your own.

I will be defending my thesis next week, which is called "Autistic Workers: Invisible People" and is a study of 38 autistic people and their work experiences. I can tell you that you WILL do just fine and the trouble you're having right now is unfortunately normal. According to the research I've done, autistic people may actually do better than the average population in regards to education and employment as they get older. So if you keep on your current path, things WILL work out.

I think you should also keep doing some thinking about what Asperger's/autism means to you. I think it's important for people, when disclosing, to immediately tell the other person what their diagnosis means. So you're not letting the other person decide.

I would hazzard a guess you are on AS spectrum just like me my earning power is shocking.
My measure of a person is on how nice and decent they come over and you from the small number of posts or yours I have read you pass those tests.

So if you are on the AS spectrum maybe you family should be supporting you and not judging you.
However you can't just write people off they may be nice people but if they are coming across as judgemental they are out of order and you should stand your ground and feel good about it.

Having said all that if you feel you can put in a bit more effort go for it even of you fail you have nothing to lose.

Life if hard.

Your looking at your own posts in shock.

The fact your so self aware just goes to show you have surpassed everybody's exceptions including your own.
I am the same.