Massive secondhand anxiety when other people are performing?

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Hello all. I've had this problem for most of my life, but it's gotten so bad that I am pretty much unable to attend any sort of performance as of late. I have had a hard time finding anything about this anywhere, and to be honest I'm not even sure if it is an autistic thing- I also have social anxiety and depression. I was wondering if anyone could relate and if anyone knew resources related to my problem.

I hate going to any sort of performance. For example: concerts, musicals, plays, comedy shows, open mic nights, slam poetry, etc. It gives me massive anxiety every time I am there. I hate sitting in a silent crowd watching someone perform; it feels claustrophobic and crushing, somehow. I am terrified that the performers are going to mess up, which is why I've called it secondhand anxiety. My anxiety is amplified during amateur performances, but professional performances are a little bit more tolerable, although I still worry about them messing up or making mistakes.

I don't know why this is happening or how to stop it. I went a long time undiagnosed with autism because I am empathetic--hyperempathetic, actually. I think this might be related to that in some way. When I watch someone perform something, I put myself in their shows and feel enormous anxiety because I would be anxious in their position. I hate doing things in front of other people (even mundane things), so I get very anxious when people perform, because I can't even imagine how that must feel. Does anyone else feel like this?

Try detaching yourself from the performers...you came there to watch...they came there to perform...they know the risk of what they are doing and are prepared for any mishaps because their coping mechanisms are far more robust than yours unless they have your condition you should try not to relate to them....what might seem like a very embarrassing moment to your might just be a joke to them.... By the way everybody feels the way you do..yours is just a hyper version of it....

I get nervous for my favorite tennis players when I watch one of their matches. I get especially nervous for Rafael Nadal, because I can see how nervous he is on court.

I've been in a bunch of plays. There are many rehearsals that last for hours. We're usually very comfortable with our lines; it becomes second nature. There was a time when I had a simple partial seizure onstage and couldn't say my lines, though; I don't like to remember that day.

This happens to me a lot. When watching a show if someone is doing something cringeworthy I find it near impossible to watch, even if it's supposed to be funny. I assume their embarrassment. I did this a lot as a child in school as well. If someone was misbehaving I'd assume their guilt and often felt more culpable than they did. It made being the perpetrator next to impossible, so I never even went there and tried to stay as well hidden as I could. It took me a long time to start to detach to a reasonable level.

When I am watching a concert, I hate when people sing or play their instruments off key. It makes my hair stand up on end, just like a cat's fur would stand on end. Errors seem to breed more errors, and the result can be cacophony and chaos.

When I am watching tennis, I don't want to see any top player lose, even if I don't particularly like them. I know that the "upset bug" will bite big and the tournament will turn into a farce.