Could you describe your empathy and thought process?

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Gracie1030
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08 Dec 2016, 7:31 pm

I am very right-brained but see myself in many autistic traits. I too am an extreme introvert and have trouble in social situations but for different reasons. I can read people quite well, and I can make friends well but I have trouble getting too close. I have trouble letting people in because I feel too much and it hurts.

I over-analyze instead of under-analyze, and one annoyed tone of voice can lead me to think that person hates me forever. However, I also relate to the special interests in that I will research something for days on end, particularly if it pertains to psychology.

I have a lot of questions for people on the spectrum because I tend to get along with extreme left-brainers who are probably on the spectrum. How do you perceive empathy? I'm assuming if you're on this forum you're at least somewhat interested in psychology. Do you ever wondering what is going on in someone's head, or do you not care?

As you are reading this right now, are you curious what I am like? Are you analyzing my post to determine My characteristics, or does that not cross your mind? Can you tell me what or who you do have empathy for and what does it feel like? As for other people who don't think like you, can you see their point of view, even if it's more logically than emotionally?

I wrote another post on this but it was way too long and no one was ever going to read it. If you want more info then read that post.



blackicmenace
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08 Dec 2016, 8:23 pm

Personally, I do analyze the things people say sort of like chewing cud. I have analyzed memories of my past and found things I missed because I was much less aware of my faults. For me, I mostly empathize with seeing physical pain, I get overly stimulated by seeing it. I really don't like seeing people get hurt if it's not fictional because of this. It's harder to connect to emotional pain, but I think it also depends on how close to the person I am dealing with emotional pain. I likely miss more subtle emotional pain. When it comes to motives, deception and details it's mostly lost to me, but applying logic later can help remove some fog, but can also just raise more questions than answers. I am a blunt instrument when it comes to socializing so pretty much tell you how I see it, very rigid.


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Kuraudo777
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08 Dec 2016, 8:50 pm

I don't tend to analyse things at all; I usually just accept/reject the information and then release it if I don't need it.


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Joe90
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09 Dec 2016, 3:44 pm

I get empathy overload, all the time. It overwhelms me so much, that I can sometimes act uncaring, when really I am caring too much. For example, if a close loved one (like a parent) is ill, I get upset, I can act out and get mildly angry at everything, which can look like I am being inconsiderate, but I'm not. I act that way because I don't want my loved one to be ill, I want them to be well. But because of my ADHD, I can have difficulties managing my behaviour.

I do feel for others.
I make too much of a fuss over my boyfriend because he has had upsetting experiences with women in the past and I love making him feel special and worthy, which then makes me feel good.
Making someone else feel good about themselves makes me feel good. Instead of bullying people because of something about them that I don't quite understand, like a lot of NTs seem to, I try to educate myself on that person's weakness or disadvantage instead, and put myself in their shoes.
I have always noticed body language pretty well, but had trouble responding correctly, which LOOKS like I haven't noticed body language signs. I've got better at responding correctly as I've gotten older.
I have good social imagination; I can imagine how people will feel in certain situations.
Sometimes my empathy goes too far and causes problems, for example when I was working at a preschool I was afraid to show any signs of authority to the children, because I didn't want to intimidate or confront them. In other words, I was too passive. I was worried in case a child might retaliate back if I told him or her off for doing something they shouldn't, and they might cry, then I would feel too guilty for making a child cry.
If somebody begs me to be honest with them about their hairstyle or clothes or writing or whatever, and my honest opinion is negative, I get really anxious and still find it hard to answer truthfully.

I do need some tough training to become more confident and less sensitive to other people's feelings.


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Kuraudo777
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09 Dec 2016, 3:45 pm

I have intense empathy, always wanting to please people and make them happy, even if I sacrifice my own wishes in the process.


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MurdersRow
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09 Dec 2016, 4:01 pm

Absolutely zero empathy - I care not for pleasing anyone, I care not for finding friends or human contact.



ZenDen
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09 Dec 2016, 4:53 pm

MurdersRow wrote:
Absolutely zero empathy - I care not for pleasing anyone, I care not for finding friends or human contact.


So you're here to talk with your machine? :D

I thought the same thoughts when I was much younger. Too bad for me.

The longer I thought that thought, the less I could learn from others the things I needed to become more self refiant and successful.

Not everything you need to learn or want to learn is read in books. Some things are best (or only) transmitted person-to-person (I find a good idea, for me, is to practice reading my "eye expressions" in a mirror to help understand NTs).

I wish I had explored this more when I was way back in school but (because of my "self inforced" isolation) the thought never entered my mind.

Good luck friend.



MurdersRow
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09 Dec 2016, 5:36 pm

ZenDen wrote:
MurdersRow wrote:
Absolutely zero empathy - I care not for pleasing anyone, I care not for finding friends or human contact.


So you're here to talk with your machine? :D

I thought the same thoughts when I was much younger. Too bad for me.

The longer I thought that thought, the less I could learn from others the things I needed to become more self refiant and successful.

Not everything you need to learn or want to learn is read in books. Some things are best (or only) transmitted person-to-person (I find a good idea, for me, is to practice reading my "eye expressions" in a mirror to help understand NTs).

I wish I had explored this more when I was way back in school but (because of my "self inforced" isolation) the thought never entered my mind.

Good luck friend.


Actually, a Therapist suggested I observe the page. I wont be here long as I find no common ground with the majority of those posting. I find that this site is not being used for it's purpose, as several like to get on here and chastise, dispute and antagonize. It also appears to be a strictly Asperger's site and not intended for other forms of Autism.



Scorpius14
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09 Dec 2016, 6:39 pm

Thoughts are best kept in your mind. When I speak my mind, others just put on a cringe face, pretend to ignore me or change the subject as quickly as possible.

As far as empathy goes, it's non-existent.



fourcandles
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09 Dec 2016, 9:51 pm

I'm pretty good at noticing subtle changes in a person's expression or tone of voice, but I don't seem to be too good at interpreting them. When I was younger I was quietly obsessed with how people were reacting to me, and tended to over-analyze and get paranoid about having annoyed or offended them.

I'm not sure if this counts as empathy though. It's more a sort of obsessive self-correction mechanism. For me the simplest way of fixing it was to minimise social interaction as much as possible, and with it the constant anxiety about saying/doing the wrong thing.

I'm also good at seeing the other person's point of view, but again this isn't so much empathic as objectively logical ("taking myself out of the equation" kind of thing).

I'm not emotionally cold, but I tend not to identify emotionally with others. I can watch pretty horrific stuff on the news, for example, and feel nothing for the victims. On the other hand, anything to do with animals suffering and I'm close to tears. In fact, that's pretty much the only time I do feel empathy for other people, when someone is worried for their pet or has to get it put to sleep.

As for the question of "why do you post here if you don't give a fig for other people"? Because replying to other people's posts helps me make sense of some of the stuff in my own head. Also, although I don't really connect with people emotionally, I do like being useful, so hopefully I'll occasionally say something that's useful or interesting to someone else.



81855306715th
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10 Dec 2016, 6:53 am

I seem to have no empathy. Well, i understand what people feel, but i don't feel or care about what they feel, unless it affects me in some way. For example, if my parents died, i would only be concerned about where i'm now going to live and school. I would experience no sadness. I do like having friends, though. They're fun to talk with, and can be interesting. If a friend has a problem, such as depression, i'll help them through it; almost entirely because it's a problem, and i like to solve problems.

I'm quite interested in psychology; i plan to study it in college. I wonder what's going on in almost everyone's head, it interests me. Though i don't analyse people in detail unless i interact with them frequently. I can see other people's point of view and usually accurately predict how they're feeling or will feel if something happens. My mum frequently says that i don't understand other people, but i do understand other people, i just don't care outside of curiosity.



littlecatinthewindow
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10 Dec 2016, 8:21 am

People say I am not good at empathy, but I'm actually really good at emotional empathy. I'm just not good at knowing how people feel if they don't show it.

If someone feels sad, I feel like I can't allow myself to be happy. And I don't like to hurt people intentionally because I don't like being hurt myself. Really, if someone hit me for no apparent reason, I would hate them, so it's only fair I don't do that to anyone in case they hate me, because these are actual people with actual thoughts and feelings, not just random meaningless characters in shows, movies, and games.



DataB4
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10 Dec 2016, 9:27 am

As background for my answer, I don't have an ASD diagnosis. I know with certainty that I don't have alexithymia. I'm very analytical, often too much so. Since I am also totally blind, I can't read people's facial expressions. Finally, as a writer, I tend to think a lot about people's personal stories.

I'm not very good at understanding subtlety, though I've learned specific ways that people are subtle in different situations, as well as lots of different white lies people tell. Hidden subtexts or buried feelings are difficult for me. On the other hand, when people are straightforward about their thoughts and feelings, I feel more emotion for or with them. If I'm close to someone, or if I think there's a chance I can help them or connect with them, I'll ask questions that get the person to share the story behind the feelings. Until I understand their point of view directly, I often can't emotionally feel what they feel, unless they're showing really powerful emotions right in front of me.

If I want to predict how someone might feel, I need to have some sense of how they think and feel now. Without some direct information along those lines, then my ability to predict varies, depending on how similar I am to them. Because of this, I've purposely set out to learn more about different communication styles and ways of thinking so I can look for clues and ask the right questions.

As for your other question, am I trying to figure out what you might be like, the answer is no. You described some of your personality traits directly. Because you asked a question, my focus is your question. Your earlier description is enough to satisfy basic curiosity about something that isn't my focus. Of course, because you mentioned the idea that I might wonder what you're like, I do wonder whether your introversion makes you shy, or whether you ever experience anxiety.



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10 Dec 2016, 9:56 am

Yes. 8O


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