The bar I went into today didn't appreciate my custom

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Yes, absolutely, there's tension everywhere and I hate it.

This constant negativity in this country gets me down. I think Americans are more optimistic and give people the benefit of the doubt more? But maybe I'm wrong.

I know a lot of these problems are created by the society we live in - lack of opportunity, media propaganda stirring up hate, expensive house prices and transport, we seem to be falling apart.

But in America I think people are able to shrug their shoulders more and just be polite to people? At least that was my experience when I went on holiday to Boston, but who knows? That's one city in a country the size of Europe so I could be massively generalizing. I was amazed though that Boston which is a large city was far more friendly than London, Manchester, Liverpool, well, probably any British city I've been to.

Anyway thank you for commiserating. I appreciate people's support here.

D'you know, I absolutely do think that many Americans are more polite and friendly -- I mean strangers among strangers -- than strangers are to each other in the UK.

I used to live in the US and while there would still be the occasional jerk -- there are mean people and mean incidents anywhere you have humans -- I did see far better manners among strangers than I see in the UK. A lot of Americans probably find that hard to believe, because the British are historically associated with a super-polite stereotype.

Yes, in about the 19th century, lol! Not today. Not modern Britain. I found that Americans in my particular city exceeded the Brits in trying always to maintain polite manners among strangers.

Of course that doesn't mean the same person who just smiled politely at me did not go and say something cruel to their friend when I turned the corner....but at least to your face, Americans in my opinion try to keep it kind at least on the surface, and friendly-seeming. I find Brits ruder.

I was in a major city, a busy metropolitan area with a diverse population, though not on either Coast, but in the Southwest. It was a busy place but yet people there were on the whole relaxed, laid back, polite, friendly and helpful.

It's not that I haven't met a few wonderful people in London too, but generally speaking it's very different here, and I miss my other city terribly. I miss the relaxed, laid back thing. It actually helped ME stay calmer and more relaxed.

Americans are more down to earth. It's fairly difficult when it comes to making friends and forming relationships in England, especially if you aren't rich/wealthy/attractive/come from Kent etc.

English people don't open up plain and simple.

The not opening up part -- it's interesting but that reminded me of another difference I notice, it's tiny but odd.

Americans tend to introduce themselves easily -- "I'm Bob, by the way" --- almost as soon as a conversation begins with anyone at all. Even if they might never meet that person again.

In contrast, you can start to form an acquaintance with a stranger in the UK that you run into regularly -- say people who walk their dogs in the same park -- and not know each others' names for months or even years. Those people may even stop and chat every time regularly, begin to be almost friends -- yet nobody ever said "I'm Bob," "Oh I'm Jack!" "By the way, the name's Mary." "Oh I'm Jane."

Someone I've been speaking to casually for a year only just today told me his name, and only then because I asked. He's known my name the whole time.

I find it very odd. It's like everyone's an undercover agent or something operating like "Don't ever tell anyone your name".

I would like to exclude Cornwall from "the south"! We always get dumped in with the home counties and the southeast if we take the "south" as being the counties below a line drawn across the country running through the Watford Gap. We have far more in common with the north and the far north if we include our Celtic heritage

Hm not all Brits are that conservative; here in Essex one is likely to be judged and spoken/shouted at - with a beer can tossed at you for punctuation. -_-

I went and ate a meal by myself once at a restaurant on my dinner break. I felt like everyone was staring at me and I ate quickly and left. I'll never do it again.
There seems to be some link between eating and socialization that is important to NTs. I don't understand it, but I'm aware of it. I would never go to a bar by myself. People would pester me.

Ahh Southport. I used to go there as a kid a lot. It was nice but I'm not sure how it is these days. But yeah I'll PM you at some point.

Wetherspoons are ok but you just have to realise - if you want cheap food or booze then you have to put up with crappy staff. It's a crap place to work and a lot of idiots go in these and cause problems. People usually just go in them to pre-drink anyway. Yates aren't much different either.
Thing is, these places are corporate chains and if you want nicer staff then you should go in one of those local cafes that are locally ran because they actually want the customers.

To answer everyone else about Brits being negative. Most other countries like America don't have to put up with chavs/yobs/football hooligans and all the other annoyances that go with it. It's no wonder we are negative first hand because people expect time wasters. You know most regular criminals in the UK now see going to prison as going on a holiday so they can see their mates and get free food? Our prison system is a joke.

As for the staring thing, I'm used to being stared at because I don't dress like a normie so I can't really comment much but from what I understand - people just stare at you regardless. I think the best thing to do is force yourself to not care and enjoy yourself, read the paper and eat or something. I see plenty of old dudes going into a local cafe on their own so I don't think it's that much of a big deal.

There are countries out there that I would consider nicer than the UK. However, the US certainly isn't one of them. There's an arrogance about America (and i'm not calling all Americans arrogant here). But having been there before, I got the general impression that people living there thought America was the entire world and nothing existed beyond it. They also seem to be easily led by media propaganda and a blind sense of patriotism.

Sorry if that comes across as offensive. Again, I don't mean to generalize and make out that all Americans are the same. Just that it's the perception I get from the country as a whole.

I also noticed something different in behavior when I was there. One example was when I was looking at a map in Hyde Park and I start talking to the mother about the Peter Pan statue location and the lady next to me gasps. Then I walk away and then I am hearing my mother say "Sorry" to the person. Later on she told me the whole story about how I invaded her personal space and then started talking and I startled her and then I walked away and she turns to my mother and says "how rude" and my mom goes "Sorry, she doesn't understand personal space" and the lady goes "I'd say not." I asked my mother what that tone of voice meant and my mom said she thought I just didn't care. That implied I was choosing to not care than not being aware.

In the US, people are more forgiving and understanding and they would have said "Not a problem, it's okay" after being explained to them why a person did a rude behavior. But in the UK I noticed more of a negative and un understanding attitudes because they seemed so rigid about it. But it was all very interesting. My mother noticed more than I did because she likes to people watch and look at the detail in humans.

Yes, they're not very sympathetic.

I wonder how different that lady's response would have been if my mom said "She has Asperger's so she doesn't understand personal space"? But I figured then my mom felt it was none of her business because she was a stranger.

I live in America.

When I was in my 20s and 30s I used to go to clubs and bars by myself all the time.

I never recall once anyone staring at me or being uncomfortable.

What?! Is this a UK thing? I've never seen nor heard of such in Ohio. I go often (for the cheap, gigantic greasy bar burgers) and never observed that behavior. Lots of people drink and eat solo where I live.

I figure it's a European thing in general actually, I've noticed this a lot on my travels. People thinking it's weird to eat alone or constant staring for no particular reason.

I used to think Europeans would be more tolerant of autistic people.

From what I have read it seems the opposite.