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kraftiekortie
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30 Jan 2017, 2:53 pm

I like the company of people occasionally.

But, most of the time, I derive satisfaction from speaking to people online. Or by not speaking to anybody.

I believe in being superficially friendly---but I believe most people are of that orientation. It's better than coming across cynical, in my view. Cynicism tends to have a corrosive effect on people.



BeggingTurtle
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31 Jan 2017, 12:51 am

EzraS wrote:
I love being alone. I crave solitude. I wish I could be a total hermit living in a condo and have food and stuff delivered to me. I like being with my dad and or cousin sometimes and even like a good hug (mostly for the feeling of pressure) once in a while. But I mainly want to be left completely alone.

I am split down the middle. I am okay being with others, but I am happy to be alone. I am always happy with my turtles, and hate leaving them alone.
I understand what you are saying though. Perhaps I am this way because I have dated someone, and used to the constant need for attention/giving attention.


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Losty
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31 Jan 2017, 1:42 am

Yea I never get lonely but I do get bored when I'm alone for extended amount time I prefer doing things with people I already know and comfortable around.



Redxk
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31 Jan 2017, 4:49 am

Loneliness is only very occasional for me.

I'm more bothered by the fact that I almost never miss people, and I feel like I'm supposed to. People like my parents. I don't think I'm heartless, but even people who have meant a lot to me-I don't miss them. Even after years.



teksla
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31 Jan 2017, 5:03 am

EzraS wrote:
I love being alone. I crave solitude. I wish I could be a total hermit living in a condo and have food and stuff delivered to me. I like being with my dad and or cousin sometimes and even like a good hug (mostly for the feeling of pressure) once in a while. But I mainly want to be left completely alone.

i agree


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CockneyRebel
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01 Feb 2017, 10:01 pm

Losty wrote:
Yea I never get lonely but I do get bored when I'm alone for extended amount time I prefer doing things with people I already know and comfortable around.


That's the same with me. I have a lot more fun when I'm out with my two closest friends. There were times that I felt lonely around my family, last year. I feel lonely around people who are not so accepting of my quirks and the things I do for my own happiness.


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BeaArthur
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02 Feb 2017, 9:45 am

Yes and no. There are times when I have wanted more connection. But on the other hand, I enjoy alone time quite a bit.

I have trouble empathizing with people who think it is self-evident that if you are alone on Christmas, say, or Valentine's day, that's a horrible thing. My attitude is, it's just a day, like any other.


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biostructure
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02 Feb 2017, 2:46 pm

I used to be this way as a kid, but as an adult I want connection. Unfortunately, I don't get the connection I want, rather I get people who are "too normal" for my sake.

I have a very "romantic" inner world, with complex visual experiences and kind of metaphorical "melodies" tying things together. I want people who will ask me about this, who will step with me into a world of swirling color and shimmering pattern. I have little interest in talking about favorite restaurants, current events, etc., or rather current events I have some interest in, but only as such, whereas for others it seems to be the "glue" that holds conversation together. Whereas I'd only feel fulfilled if the more romantic visualizations were the "glue", especially with a girlfriend.

In fact, I have a lot more need for a girlfriend than I do for general "togetherness" with people. This seems to be turned on its head, though, from the average person. I thought online I could find more people who wanted to build a shared romantic language without the need for the whole small-talk, fitting-in-with-the-group stage, but I've found that not to be the case.



biostructure
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02 Feb 2017, 2:48 pm

This_Amoeba wrote:
Being around groups of people and family gatherings make me feel alone. I'm unable to connect and feel out of place like a weirdo or alien. I enjoy being alone but sometimes I get so lonely it hurts. Sometimes I wish I had some people I could connect with and share my thoughts and ideas.


I totally can relate to this--being around most people makes me feel more alone than actually being alone, but I could imagine that with the right kind of "kindred spirit", I could feel the most connected I ever have in my life.



DancingCorpse
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09 Feb 2017, 1:32 am

I don't really know what loneliness is either, the connections I have made in life have been meaningful and authentic, I'd like to see if I can forge some more now I understand myself and see that I am viable and a good enough fellow, I have never had the ability or stability in the environments I've been in to seek many friendships but I may have some on the horizon over the next couple decades so we'll see. I've been dandy in my own company for yonks and am at peace with my own thoughts and pursuits, never had time for loneliness either conversely heh.



Kitty4670
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11 Feb 2017, 3:04 am

I used to feel so lonely, now I don't feel lonely, I have a cat, that all I need.



TheWarrior
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11 Feb 2017, 7:28 am

Same here.
Also my pets are a great company.

People makes me feel tense and suffocated. At least 99% of them.
Though I know that this is very bad for me, because if I was able to enjoy people's company my life would be much better.



Kitty4670
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12 Feb 2017, 2:06 am

I used to love going out & being with people, now I love staying in my apartment with my cat. I couldn't go out much anyway, I had leg problems, my legs are good now. I go out sometimes when I have to go to the bank, I need to go to a salon to get my hair done, but I haven't been going, I haven't been to a salon since June of last year, I have grey hair, maybe I won't color my hair anymore, it will save me money.



foxant
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12 Feb 2017, 10:39 pm

This_Amoeba wrote:
Being around groups of people and family gatherings make me feel alone. I'm unable to connect and feel out of place like a weirdo or alien. I enjoy being alone but sometimes I get so lonely it hurts. Sometimes I wish I had some people I could connect with and share my thoughts and ideas.


thats the exactly the same thing that happens to me! even if only me and a friend are in a room talking about things we like, i feel all the time that i would probably have a better time watching tv or some other entertainment alone than with him. i feel that maybe happens because my last friends were just average friends, nothing very positive about then. some years ago i had a short and good friendship with two very smart guys. when they were talking i didnt feel like i was alone. and then i lost contact and i was too shy to talk with then again. nowadays i kinda miss my friends visiting me. im sick of being alone. theres only one friend left 4 me, and he goes here each two or three months and its always making excuses when i invite him to just chat for a few time. hes like a cat, just appear whetever he wants. if someone outside my family circle visited me one time per week or maybe two times at month would be enough socialization for me being happy. i became that friend that seinfeld said about in a episode. the guy in the middle of 20s, that still live with parents, and you would be ashamed to introduce him to your newer friends but you cant abandon.


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