Board index › General Discussion › General Autism Discussion

What characteristics would you like to have?

Page 2 of 2 [ 23 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2

Previous topic | Next topic

Claradoon
Supporting Member
Supporting Member

User avatar

Joined: 23 Aug 2006
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,964
Location: Canada

06 Feb 2017, 3:36 pm

JakeASD wrote:
I would like to be a witty, well-spoken and altruistic individual, who has an excellent memory and extensive knowledge on a wide range of subjects. Unfortunately I am the antithesis of the aforementioned characteristics, for I am self-centered, withdrawn, I stumble over my words and I possess a lack of knowledge on most things because of my learning difficulties (autism, possible dyslexia and I suspect ADD and APD, too).

Lack of knowledge can be a great thing in a conversation. Say "I don't know much about that but I've always wanted to know" and you've got a great conversation going. People *love* to be able to talk about their own stuff. Look intrested, nod your head. It works for me.



JakeASD
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 Jul 2015
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,297
Location: Kent, UK

06 Feb 2017, 4:02 pm

Claradoon wrote:
JakeASD wrote:
I would like to be a witty, well-spoken and altruistic individual, who has an excellent memory and extensive knowledge on a wide range of subjects. Unfortunately I am the antithesis of the aforementioned characteristics, for I am self-centered, withdrawn, I stumble over my words and I possess a lack of knowledge on most things because of my learning difficulties (autism, possible dyslexia and I suspect ADD and APD, too).

Lack of knowledge can be a great thing in a conversation. Say "I don't know much about that but I've always wanted to know" and you've got a great conversation going. People *love* to be able to talk about their own stuff. Look intrested, nod your head. It works for me.


Thanks for the advice. Dale Carnegie's "How to Win Friends and Influence People" states something similar. Unfortunately I am rather selfish as I always feel disappointed in myself for failing to remember what others have said. Thus I end up learning nothing at all. But I guess I should feel satisfied if the other person is happy about telling me something about their interests.


_________________
"Every day, once a day, give yourself a present. Don't plan it, don't wait for it, just let it happen. " - Special Agent Dale Cooper, Twin Peaks


Soccer22
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Jun 2013
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 692

06 Feb 2017, 4:59 pm

I wish I had patience and I wish I could be easy going. For a while I wished I could be funny, but for some reason that isn't high on my list anymore as I've aged.



puente1
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

Joined: 6 Feb 2017
Age: 43
Gender: Female
Posts: 7

06 Feb 2017, 5:52 pm

I would love to be able to have great conversations with people and actually have people around me who appreciate me and that want to be around me.



DubSackJack
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 12 Jun 2011
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 41
Location: Everett, WA

06 Feb 2017, 6:54 pm

I'd like to be tall, and wealthy. I can at least achieve one of them, and if I move to Asia, I can be tall too!



Redxk
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Jun 2016
Age: 45
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,704
Location: Washington

06 Feb 2017, 7:17 pm

I wish I were gentler, more patient, and less judgmental, both with others and with myself.



Claradoon
Supporting Member
Supporting Member

User avatar

Joined: 23 Aug 2006
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,964
Location: Canada

06 Feb 2017, 9:03 pm

JakeASD wrote:
Claradoon wrote:
JakeASD wrote:
I would like to be a witty, well-spoken and altruistic individual, who has an excellent memory and extensive knowledge on a wide range of subjects. Unfortunately I am the antithesis of the aforementioned characteristics, for I am self-centered, withdrawn, I stumble over my words and I possess a lack of knowledge on most things because of my learning difficulties (autism, possible dyslexia and I suspect ADD and APD, too).

Lack of knowledge can be a great thing in a conversation. Say "I don't know much about that but I've always wanted to know" and you've got a great conversation going. People *love* to be able to talk about their own stuff. Look intrested, nod your head. It works for me.


Thanks for the advice. Dale Carnegie's "How to Win Friends and Influence People" states something similar. Unfortunately I am rather selfish as I always feel disappointed in myself for failing to remember what others have said. Thus I end up learning nothing at all. But I guess I should feel satisfied if the other person is happy about telling me something about their interests.


I'm not trying to say you'll learn anything. That's not the point. It's only that you'll pay attention and nod and so on. Whether you retain any of it doesn't matter. It's that people crave being paid attention to. They can be talking about anything, and somebody pays attention - they're not trying to teach, there's no test. I think it was Jung that said, "Most people live out their lives saying 'Nobody saw me' and 'Nobody heard me.'"

That's a great gift you can give - pay attention, see a person, hear them. It's not about learning at all. I do hope you'll try it.

I suddenly remember where I got that idea. Barbara Walters wrote a book a zillion years ago and she said the best thing you can do in a conversation is know absolutely nothing but be interested.
https://www.amazon.ca/Talk-Practically- ... ra+walters