Talkng to people on trains
Hi,
I just wanted to know whether other people talk to people they don't know?
I started off selectively mute, moved on to ultra-fast speech and then had speech therapy for a few years. My mum and dad had similar issues to me, but they both encouraged me to talk to people where ever I went and make eye contact as their parents had encouraged them.
When I am feeling up, I find this OK to do, but I might speak fast. People seem to enjoy talking to me, as I like to listen to their stories. I don't talk about myself much, but people think I am friendly and kind. I am now on a mood stabiliser as I tend to be up for weeks and then a slight comment will sometimes hurt me and I will go down.
I have been worried about my talking to others since I read this largely negative post on another forum
https://forums.whirlpool.net.au/archive/2582450
regards Renovator
I think if you're sitting next to someone on a train it's ok to chat to them and be friendly, as long as they are open to chatting too.
If you get on a train, see someone sitting alone and make a beeline to that person, especially if you're a male approaching a female, I can see how that might be considered creepy.
_________________
It's like I'm sleepwalking
Cue me being a horrible person - I don't like to be spoken to on public transport.
Mainly because the cultural norm where I am is not to speak to random strangers, those doing so have some kind of agenda. Last time this happened to me, an older woman approached me on a train station bench and made a comment about how hard it was these days to get up those steep ramps. I smiled and said "yep, that can happen for sure."
She then went on to comment about how she found mowing the grass difficult at her age now, but had a nice gentleman come and mow it for her. I made some comment about that being nice of him, it's lucky she can get someone to help her out. So far so innocent.
She then jumped straight into "So do you know Jesus?"
I am a religious person, but not a Christian. I politely replied "no not really, I have my own beliefs."
She then launched into a spiel about how I had to call on Jesus, how Jesus would save those who called on him in the name of God, how her son was caught in a riptide swimming in the sea once and couldn't get back to the shore, but he called on Jesus and Jesus sent a wave to carry him safely back to the beach, and that Jesus would be a friend to me if only I called on him.
I was someone sitting on a station waiting for a train minding my own business. There is no need to preach at me.
I had to get up and leave in the end.
I think it would depend on the situation. If it was an interesting talk (NOT a personal life story) about an innocent and engaging topic, just casually sitting there, or maybe it was precipitated by something like a fantastic tattoo or an unexpected delay, ok. I don't think there's really an all encompassing way to judge what's ok and what's not though.
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Alexithymia - 147 points.
Low-Verbal.
I don't really take public transport any more but I used to commute (1 hour journey) on the train. In the UK people tend to keep to themselves on trains and busses and anyone initiating a conversation would be treated with a little suspicion. That's not to say it doesn't happen but it definitely isn't the norm. Someone may mention the weather or moan if the train's late. Agreement is all that's required.
_________________
Diagnosed: Asperger's Syndrome (ICD-10)
Self-Diagnosed: Aphantasia
Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 152 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 46 of 200
Listener of all things noisy, viewer of all things bloody, writer of all things sh*t.
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