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How to stop when I'm busy with my special interests

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climbergirl7
Butterfly
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Joined: 6 Sep 2016
Age: 43
Gender: Female
Posts: 16
Location: New Mexico

23 Mar 2017, 7:23 pm

Hi all, I'm an aspie stay at home mother with two small children. A 4 year-old-son, a fellow aspie and an almost 2-year-old daughter (not on the spectrum as far as we know). So basically two of us aspies and two of us not, which is pretty awesome most of the time. My biggest challenge is dealing with my special interests and my family. I am obsessed with plants, gardening, watering and caring for them, reading and researching about them. Sometimes I just want to sit with them or look at them for hours. I feel as if in general I'm a great mother but I have a hard time stopping what I'm doing to spend time with my family. I just need some ideas of how to moderate my time so that I can spend time with everyone and "aspie out on plants" as my husband calls it. If I'm having a good day I feel like I'm better at moving on from plants and don't need it as much (if that makes sense) but on bad days I feel like I need to work on my interest more just to be in a good mood and be able to interact. I realize this could have gone on the parenting forum but I wanted a lot of different ideas, aside from parenting. Thanks.



liveandrew
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Joined: 4 Oct 2016
Age: 56
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Location: Cornwall, UK

24 Mar 2017, 5:36 am

How about setting aside specific timeslots for it? I know that when I come home from work I need time to wind down which I do by cooking alone in the kitchen. My family know this and leave me alone... most of the time :) Make sure they know that these timeslots are time that you need alone and that you'll be a much happier person if that happens. My main special interest is film and I generally have to wait until everyone goes to bed before I can watch what I want (my wife can't read subtitles and does not like the same films as I do), by which time I'm normally too tired. It's a bit of a pain but I've learned to cope and I truly think that my cooking time really helps. Plus, the internet is great for a little research during the evening, which sates my cinematic appetite for a while :)

Looking at your username - are you another climber? I've not met another of us on WP.


_________________
Diagnosed: Asperger's Syndrome (ICD-10)
Self-Diagnosed: Aphantasia
Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 152 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 46 of 200

Listener of all things noisy, viewer of all things bloody, writer of all things sh*t.


Keigan
Pileated woodpecker
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Joined: 26 Feb 2017
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24 Mar 2017, 7:32 am

Can your family participate with the caring for the plants? Could be a way of creating involvement.



climbergirl7
Butterfly
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Joined: 6 Sep 2016
Age: 43
Gender: Female
Posts: 16
Location: New Mexico

24 Mar 2017, 8:34 am

liveandrew wrote:
How about setting aside specific timeslots for it? I know that when I come home from work I need time to wind down which I do by cooking alone in the kitchen. My family know this and leave me alone... most of the time :) Make sure they know that these timeslots are time that you need alone and that you'll be a much happier person if that happens. My main special interest is film and I generally have to wait until everyone goes to bed before I can watch what I want (my wife can't read subtitles and does not like the same films as I do), by which time I'm normally too tired. It's a bit of a pain but I've learned to cope and I truly think that my cooking time really helps. Plus, the internet is great for a little research during the evening, which sates my cinematic appetite for a while :)

Looking at your username - are you another climber? I've not met another of us on WP.

It is a good idea to have a specific time slot, my husband's schedule is all over the place but maybe we could work something out. Yes, I am a climber!! ! It is my other interest, we don't go outside really anymore because it's difficult with the kids but I frequent the gym about 2-3 times a week. I have an injuried thumb right now though:( weird undercling move. Thats awesome that you climb too!! It one of the only things that makes me feel like a real person when im in a weird space.



climbergirl7
Butterfly
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Joined: 6 Sep 2016
Age: 43
Gender: Female
Posts: 16
Location: New Mexico

24 Mar 2017, 8:38 am

Keigan wrote:
Can your family participate with the caring for the plants? Could be a way of creating involvement.

I do let them help with seed planting and watering and sometimes they help dig next to me. But I really want some alone time when I'm doing it to reset so that I'm ready to be an involved mom again. It's hard never having any personal space or alone time because my kids are still so young.



liveandrew
Velociraptor
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Joined: 4 Oct 2016
Age: 56
Gender: Male
Posts: 479
Location: Cornwall, UK

24 Mar 2017, 9:25 am

climbergirl7 wrote:
liveandrew wrote:
How about setting aside specific timeslots for it? I know that when I come home from work I need time to wind down which I do by cooking alone in the kitchen. My family know this and leave me alone... most of the time :) Make sure they know that these timeslots are time that you need alone and that you'll be a much happier person if that happens. My main special interest is film and I generally have to wait until everyone goes to bed before I can watch what I want (my wife can't read subtitles and does not like the same films as I do), by which time I'm normally too tired. It's a bit of a pain but I've learned to cope and I truly think that my cooking time really helps. Plus, the internet is great for a little research during the evening, which sates my cinematic appetite for a while :)

Looking at your username - are you another climber? I've not met another of us on WP.

It is a good idea to have a specific time slot, my husband's schedule is all over the place but maybe we could work something out. Yes, I am a climber!! ! It is my other interest, we don't go outside really anymore because it's difficult with the kids but I frequent the gym about 2-3 times a week. I have an injuried thumb right now though:( weird undercling move. Thats awesome that you climb too!! It one of the only things that makes me feel like a real person when im in a weird space.

I don't climb at the moment. I was off with a fractured finger and then got lazy. I do teach indoor climbing though every Saturday (kids aged 8 to 16, including my daughter) and that's fun. Haven't climbed outside for a few years as I don't have the time to dedicate to it - hitting the wall is much simpler and quicker.


_________________
Diagnosed: Asperger's Syndrome (ICD-10)
Self-Diagnosed: Aphantasia
Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 152 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 46 of 200

Listener of all things noisy, viewer of all things bloody, writer of all things sh*t.