Obsession with rules

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Did/does anyone else experience obsession with rules?

It was only a couple months ago that I realized this might be something related to ASDs. When I was a kid, I never broke rules. I'd blindly follow rules because the adults put the rules into place and the adults were correct. I'd get really upset if other people broke rules, and I had this division between "good people" and "bad guys" in my head. There really wasn't much grey area.

When I was about 10 or 11, I was really confused why my classmates lied about themselves and someone had to explain that it was because they were trying to make themselves look better. (The types of lies would be things like saying that they ate whatever they wanted, but in reality, they were on diets. Or that their parents bought them whatever clothes they wanted, but they really didn't.) But lying was "bad" so I couldn't lie like my classmates did. I never really tested the water as far as pushing rules, which unfortunately was a bad step as far as learning about yourself and your environment. As an adult, I'm still very rule oriented, but I'm not nearly as obsessed about them as I was as a kid. Actually as an adult, I have trouble following rules if I don't understand why the rule exists in the first place (I guess I lost the trust I had in the rule-makers when I was a kid).

I also had to be right. I'd get upset if I answered a question wrong in class and the teacher told me that I was wrong, no matter how nicely the teacher put it. I never showed it, of course, but I felt like I had shamed myself. And it wasn't anxiety - I'd raise my hand to answer the question; it wasn't like the teacher put me on the spot.

I have a generally Philosophical mind, in other words i think a lot about existence, rules etc. Although i mostly follow rules if there's something i disagree with it's nearly impossible for me to simply accept it and follow the rule. I mostly disagree with what most people say in general when it comes to politics and rules but i try not to paint a target on my back going against every single rule i hear.

TL;DR Yes but i like going against them the older i got rather than following them.

I am very rules oriented as well. This is why I have such a big problem with hypocrisy. I can be a real rules enforcer. (it has caused many problems for me in the work place) Rules that make sense I will follow to the letter but rules that don't pass my logic test are disregarded. ( and the people telling me I need to follow them. to me those are the folks I call idiots... probably not the best way, but it's my way)

When people lie like you mentioned, I don't get how they can do it so easily. It makes me think less of them and they get scratched off the list of potential friends. That is why the list is very very short.

You're not alone!! !!

I hated following rules when I was a kid, but I also saw rules more like impenetrable walls than other kids did. Skirting around rules wasn't something that really occurred to me until I was a bit older; either you broke rules or you didn't, and naturally I got s**t for breaking rules. I gradually learned how to sneak my way around rules and how to lie about following rules when I was in fact actually breaking them, but it didn't come to me as naturally as it came to my NT peers.

Much like OP, I too struggled with rules that didn't make sense to me and/or that I didn't see the point of.

As a child, I blindly followed rules because I did not know there was more information to ask about. As an adult, I have trouble following rules if I do not understand why the rule exists in the first place.

The reason why the rule exists tells you more about the who, where, when, and how to follow the rule. For example, the reason you wait for the crosswalk sign to tell you to walk is so you do not get hit by a car. That means, when there are no cars because traffic has been diverted, you do not need to wait for the crosswalk sign to tell you. Then, it is not breaking the rule; it was an implied part of the rule.

_________________
31st of July, 2013
Diagnosed: Autism Spectrum Disorder, Auditory-Verbal Processing Speed Disorder, and Visual-Motor Processing Speed Disorder.

Weak Emerging Social Communicator (The Social Thinking-­Social Communication Profile by Michelle Garcia Winner, Pamela Crooke and Stephanie Madrigal)

"I am silently correcting your grammar."

^ I also tend to be a rule-follower, and always have been by nature. However:

> "As an adult, I have trouble following rules if I do not understand why the rule exists in the first place."

That's definitely the case for me. And as an INTJ, it's gotten me into trouble with a lot of S people.

Rules keeps everything fair for everyone. As long as rules and procedures are followed consistently we are judged by the same expectation. I have noticed that those who claim to not follow rules are the first to scream when things don't go to their advantage.

In the past I did, like I just figured rules were there for a reason and may as well follow them. But eventually I came to find some rules and laws don't really make sense and/or I don't agree. So I won't follow any rule just because it is a rule like I may have used to. Like it is federally illegal to smoke cannabis, it became legal in my state but I started smoking before that..and didn't agree it was illegal so i broke that 'rule' before the entirety of the state did just like plenty of others.

Also nowdays, I find some 'school rules' stupid, like forcing girls to wear ridiculous amounts of clothing when it is hot out...becasuse some a**holes decide to sexually objectify the shoulders of women and teens I guess. Like I saw a youtube thing of a girl who goes to a school with no adequate air conditioning and she wore a sleeveless dress..boo hoo it was hot and they wanted her to put a shirt on or go home.

Well either they should up their air conditioning so clothing like that isn't comfortable, if she was so hot she had to wear that obvioiusly there are some issues there...or just quit sexualizing schoolgirls, there is an option to.

As a kid I was very strict on rules. I remember once making my friend wash her mouth out with soap because she'd used a swear word. It never occurred to me that that threat was not one that would be followed through with and my friend had broken the 'rules' so that had to be her punishment...

As with most people here though, as I got older I question them a bit more. Why do I have to do that? With some things - speed limits when driving, driving without insurance, shoplifting etc I'm very strict. If the speed limit is 50kph that's what I do and you can f**k off if you're tailgating me hoping I'll go faster! But other things I'm a bit more relaxed now. Like drugs etc - I wouldn't do them but don't really panic as much any more if people around me are doing them.

I still follow the rules. I just know now that I need to ask a lot of questions in order to understand how to follow the rules because of my autistic black and white thinking.

_________________
31st of July, 2013
Diagnosed: Autism Spectrum Disorder, Auditory-Verbal Processing Speed Disorder, and Visual-Motor Processing Speed Disorder.

Weak Emerging Social Communicator (The Social Thinking-­Social Communication Profile by Michelle Garcia Winner, Pamela Crooke and Stephanie Madrigal)

"I am silently correcting your grammar."