My teenage aspie daughter says she is transgender

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Good morning. Thank you for all the replies. My intention was not to disrespect anyone on this forum but to see if any other mothers that have Asperger teens have gone through the same thing. Since she was 12 years old she has gone from one extreme to another.....First she was Gay and decided to cut all her hair off herself, than she became a furry and was obsessed with fursuits and know she has stated she is transgender. I love my daughter will all my heart but I suspect that she may be just trying to figure out who she is. She has not had an easy life with all of the bullying she's had to endure.
So with that being said I truly hope that doctors and therapists will take their time before they give her a prescription. Just 6 months ago she was trying on dresses that she needs for a wedding and she was quite happy how she looked in the mirror.
She has just revealed to us that she wants to be a boy and honestly I don't think its fair for her to all of a sudden want to be called by a different name or be referred to by him or he. This is a huge adjustment for her entire family and it will take time and understanding by all. I'm not saying it will never happen but not overnight.

Please validate him. Gender dysphoria is common on the autism spectrum and it's extremely painful even with full acceptance from the people in our lives.

I can understand why the OP is confused. Her daughter (or he) has always switched roles and decided to be something so how is she going to know her daughter is serious this time about her gender? It's like crying wolf.

I do agree with the therapy approach.

Yes it's also pretty common for people to not know they are transgender until they are older and some even think they're gay or lesbian before realizing they are transgender. It's also pretty normal for teens to switch roles because they are trying to find themselves and fit in and who doesn't want to fit in? Aspies are people too so they also go through normal phases like NT kids. So the OP doesn't know if this is what her child is doing or if she is doing the common gender dysphoria thing. It's very confusing. Only way to tell is if she never grows out of it but that will be a few years before the OP knows for sure. I don't think it's fair to say the OP is transphobic when she is just confused and doesn't know because of her daughter's history. I think coming here to ask us questions is a good sign.

Yeah I said she because I also don't know if the daughter is transgender. But on the other hand I can also probably understand why some trans folks here might take this all to heart what the OP is saying because they also probably decided to come out as trans as a teen and weren't taken seriously so their parents refused to refer them as their "new"gender and using their new name. I don't think it's always done intentionally by cis parents. I wouldn't call them transphobic if they don't know or understand or are also just confused. I think the OP coming here to try and understand is far from being transphobic. A transphobic wouldn't care to understand and even bother asking questions because they just don't care and are too closed minded to care or understand.

The Atlantic magazine published an article ( https://www.theatlantic.com/health/arch ... ty/507509/ ) in 2016 which, while some descriptions of specific individuals can be considered harsh, does present a good understanding of the state of influence between Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) and Gender Identity Disorder (GID). Most importantly is its choice of research studies to show the disproportionate rate of ASD among individuals with GID:

“Initial Clinical Guidelines for Co-Occurring Autism Spectrum Disorder and Gender Dysphoria or Incongruence in Adolescents” (2016) ( http://www.tandfonline.com/doi/pdf/10.1 ... 16.1228462 )

“Increased Gender Variance in Autism Spectrum Disorders and Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder” (2014) ( https://link.springer.com/article/10.10 ... 014-0285-3 )

“Autism Spectrum Disorders in Gender Dysphoric Children and Adolescents” (2010) ( https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2904453/ )

The online publication Spectrum published the article “Living between genders” ( https://spectrumnews.org/features/deep- ... n-genders/ ) in 2016. The article included research studies to show the disproportionate rate of ASD within individuals with GID:

“Gender dysphoria and autism spectrum disorder: A narrative review.” (2016) ( https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/26753812 )

“Brief Report: Autistic Features in Children and Adolescents with Gender Dysphoria.” (2015) ( https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/25772537 )

“Gender identity and autism spectrum disorders.” (2015) ( https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/25744543 )

Anyway, I don’t mean to flood this topic with research, but it might help to understand the amount of investigation of this topic has received so far.