I want to runaway

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At this point, I don't care if I'll become homeless anymore. I practically already live like that anyway. I just can't keep up with the society. I can't meet the standards. I want to live peacefully, without s**t always happening to me or not live at all...

What's going on, can you elaborate on your situation?

In either case, I pray you will get the peace from whatever you are going through; i'm sure many can relate to the desire to escape; I wanted to at one time, in a sense...

Homelessness would bring it's own set of problems though.

Are you getting support from anyone at the moment? Is there anyone you can get help from? Parents/friends/etc?

I, of course, know that it would bring problems. But I guess it's easier to look for food in trash than having mental breakdowns every day. My parents don't or rather don't want to understand my situation.

What's going on?

I am not capable of finishing school. If I don't, I will probably get kicked out of house.

This is exactly the same thing I had posted.

I don't want to offend anyone by saying this, but these really helped me and they've begun my transformation from an escapist to a conformist. (Yes, conformist, in order to function for ourselves we have to work for others unfortunately). I watch a lot of self help videos, Jim Rohn is good. These are very philosophical video series that explain to people like us, who question everything, how to function.

But ignoring that, I agree. I constantly feel a background desire to run away. I have always been fascinated by forts, and defense systems. I want to live in a bunker, safe from anything. I want people to leave me alone and I want isolation. I'll never get those things without the side effects but at least I can fantasize. I can relate to what you're saying exactly.

Same thing with my parents. They don't want me to have ASD, so they pretend to themselves that I am completely 'normal'. They lie to themselves so much that they don't know or care what damage they continue to do to me emotionally. They love the person they think I could become if I only tried harder, and not the person I am.

Have your parents themselves threatened that?

Your elders bore and reared you. Run not away but to them.

In some circumstances, this may be pertinent. I need to leave my family so that I don't kill myself. Every day they force me to be 'normal', and punish me when I inevitably am not. I cannot 'run to' my parents, as they are the ones who are causing problems for me.

Please don't worry as I am not currently suicidal. I used to be, but I now focus on the hope that I may soon move away from my family. Even though I am very scared about moving to a different city and living by myself, I am willing and hopeful.

In many cases on WP, that's easier said than done. It's pretty hard to run to parents who won't let you be yourself in the way that's the most comfortable for you.

Exactly.

Yes, they will only let me live with them if I continue school and look for job.

@Weakbody I see..., and i'm under the impression you have tried to tell them how hard it is for you...

Have you tried to work with them? Indicating your struggles and difficulties, maybe showing them information relating to the difficulties of people on the spectrum?

Perhaps they are under the mistaken impression that you don't care about school or work or doing anything... but I doubt that you are like that.