Wiped Out

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I know I get overwhelmed by places with large amounts of people but even after all these years I find that I still try to push the envelope to be more 'normal' to please family members. My parents and I went to lunch at a buffet. It was very big but at least the floor had carpeting and for so many people it seemed the business owners had taken into consideration the idea of good soundproofing when designing the place. Nevertheless, I found that after being there I have been drained to the point of just wanting to go back to bed today even though I went to bed early last night and got up a little later than usual. I am also aware that the body can sometimes become tired during the day if you sleep too long. Anyway, do any of you find yourself forcing yourself into similar situations to please family members? If so, what do you find useful for aftercare. I am not able to watch my Alien movies at the moment or play music as I am pretty much doing the 'sit up during the day with family thing'. Headphones are uncomfortable right now.

I do not drive or ride in cars, so that, by a way though not meant for it, I ward against those bids to gather afar.

My family force me to be 'normal'. I honestly don't care what they think at all (they have been very damaging to me growing up - a friend of mine says abusive), but they punish me if I'm not 'normal' enough. For my own mental health, I need to move away from them as soon as possible, even though I don't know how successfully I can look after myself. Wanting to make my family happy doesn't come into it.

FandomConnection: I agree that moving out would be most optimal for the situation. I hope you are at least able to find some place to escape to.

I also feel wiped out just trying to act normal with my family. When they visit they always want to go out to places that require a lot of work for me on a mental level. I put in the effort because they have traveled to see me, but I find myself feeling guilty for wanting them to leave so I can have some downtime. When I go home to see them its the same, but I get more agitated at being made to go out to noisy places. I try not to let it show so they don't start questioning me, but it's difficult. As for aftercare, I usually need a lot of time just to myself, getting lost in one of my interests.

Sounds like the best way forward. I had/have a similar problem with one parent, but since i moved and have less contact with them I've been a lot happier. I'm not the best at looking after myself, but its easier when you're not having to live up to someone else's standards. You have to do what's best for you. Wish you luck.

Thank you to both of you for your kind words. No matter how terrified I am, I am going to leave. Even if I can't go straight to university because I have no money, I will just work until I am able to.

I don't like crowded places much at all.

One time I argued with some friends against going to a certain Easter brunch. The place was large and well known and would certainly have a lot of good food.

I didn't prevail in my arguments and so we went there. I was amazed when we walked in to see that in this enormous ballroom, there was only one occupied table with maybe about 10 or 12 people at the table and it was over in the far corner..

My happiness over the limited number of people there evaporated when the first of our group through the line walked over to a table next to the other table. I assume that they didn't appreciate us sitting that close to them, either.

For what it's worth, the other table was occupied by one of the more respected and more senior US congressman from the state and a number of members of his family.

When go to the main city near me on the train i find it to much in the train station people everyhwere just want to get of there. Don’t like shopping centres too many people.