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JakeASD
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29 May 2017, 7:54 am

Is this an indication that someone is on the spectrum?

My niece just fled upstairs when my mother had company over for a few moments. She is 12 years old, undiagnosed, and only has a few friends.

I pose the question because it's something I was guilty of doing for many years. Whenever family members would come over, I would surreptitiously spend as much time as possible upstairs 'looking for things'.

She is sometimes averse to being touched too, but up until a few years ago she seemed perfectly 'normal'.


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MagicMeerkat
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29 May 2017, 10:19 am

I live by myself now so "my room" is my whole apartment. But I never leave my apartment unless I need to go to the store or something. I've lived here for about a year and still don't really know anyone. My mom's kinda paranoid and always telling me not to talk to anyone...but I doubt I would even if she didn't. But back when I did live with my parents, I always "hid" in my bedroom. My parents would often tell me that it felt like a "visit" whenever I came out and my dad was always asking me when I planned to come out of the "bat-cave". There was just more interesting things going on in my room and my parents forbid me to talk about my special interests for years. Maybe if I felt more accepted and welcomed, even in my own family I would have come out of the "bat cave" and "visited" more often.


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Claradoon
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29 May 2017, 10:42 am

She's 12? Female adolescence involves a lot of running to one's room to be alone. It might be only that. Give it more time, maybe?



rabidmonkey4262
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29 May 2017, 10:56 am

Well you'd of course need more to go on if you want an actual diagnosis. It's normal for neurotypical preteens and teenagers to spend a lot of time in their room. Kids in general don't have a lot of interest in socializing with their mom's friends.


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kraftiekortie
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06 Jun 2017, 1:53 pm

The retreating to one's room upon the arrival of parents' friends is a "normal" adolescent action.

In order to try to determine the Spectrum status of this person, one must give more information. Does she, for example, spend hours in her room researching her special interest, to the exclusion of something like school or dinner?

Based on what the OP has written, she doesn't sound Spectrum-y to me.



starkid
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06 Jun 2017, 2:12 pm

JakeASD wrote:
Is this an indication that someone is on the spectrum?

No.



JakeASD
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06 Jun 2017, 2:52 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
The retreating to one's room upon the arrival of parents' friends is a "normal" adolescent action.

In order to try to determine the Spectrum status of this person, one must give more information. Does she, for example, spend hours in her room researching her special interest, to the exclusion of something like school or dinner?

Based on what the OP has written, she doesn't sound Spectrum-y to me.


She spends hours in front of her laptop after school and during the weekends. I know she likes the Netflix show, "Pretty Little Liars" and the game, "Sims 4". I guess the biggest indication that she might be on the spectrum is the way in which she freaks out if something has been moved in her room, and sometimes she has a disclination for being touched. Whilst it could just be her age and a sign of the times, I am concerned that she is beginning to abhor other human beings. Ironically, I have to force her out of the house sometimes.

In retrospect, it was a rather futile OP on my part, for which I sincerely apologize.


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kraftiekortie
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06 Jun 2017, 5:15 pm

You don't have to apologize. You have concerns.

Based on what you wrote, I don't see too much autism. I see a sort of introverted adolescent. I could be wrong. I'd be able to speculate better should I meet her in person.



EzraS
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08 Jun 2017, 5:04 am

I have always sequestered myself in my room as much as possible. Every place else is like foreign territory.



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09 Jun 2017, 5:34 pm

I've always spent most of my life in my bedroom, only emerging to eat and go to school. Even now that I live in my own apartment, I rarely leave my room. I have everything (entertainment-wise) that I want there, and have no reason to leave beyond remembering to eat and go to work.


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DeepHour
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13 Jun 2017, 6:53 pm

I did this a lot as a teenager, and even continued it into 'adult' life. I am the only person in my year group who doesn't appear on my college matriculation photograph - I was hiding in my room, watching the proceedings taking place across the quadrangle.

I haven't opened the curtains in the front room once in the ten years I've lived in my present house.



Eliza_Day
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13 Jun 2017, 7:59 pm

She is probably just introverted and needs space. Everyone deals with adolescence differently too so it might not mean she's on the spectrum.

I was the opposite - I always wanted to be around my mums friends both as a child and as a teenager. Mum couldn't get rid of me! If she had friends round at night she'd have to bribe me into going upstairs to bed. I just preferred adult company and didn't connect with people my own age.

I'm different now though, I live alone and don't want to be around most people.



lostonearth35
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13 Jun 2017, 9:48 pm

What's wrong with wanting to be alone in one's own room? My bedroom was about the only place where I had any real privacy and could actually be myself - except for when my brother constantly barged into it so he could be a jerk and drive me crazy, and I had no lock on my bedroom door to keep him out. And when I went to live in a group home that had ten other people I had to share my bedroom with another person, which was the worst, especially when that other person was sick. And nearly a year later I was sent to a home with only two other residents and I finally had my own room. But the staff would check on me every few minutes and were perplexed when I got very annoyed by the constant interruptions.

Now I have my own apartment and it's one large bedroom. The more I'm in control over my living situation the much less of a burden my being an aspie feels, while enjoying the more positive things about it, like my uniqueness and creativity. And my parents are very understanding if I want to be in their basement when I visit for the peace and quiet - I do spend time with them, but Dad always has the TV up much too loud because he's hard of hearing and he seems to like violent action movies with lots of guns. 8O