High intellect, how not to get annoyed?

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And yet here you are doing the same thing and the cycle continues...

What----you think I'm being dismissive? If that's what you think----and, if that's what I was doing----I wouldn't've taken the time, to offer a suggestion ("tip"); I would've just said "HAH", and been on my way (or, not responded, at all).

Your opening statement, boiling it all down to youthful arrogance, is very dismissive. Sure, there's a tip in there, sandwiched between your dismissive opening paragraph and second to last paragraph that accuses him of everything from not being intelligent to having low self esteem. Perhaps next time just stick with the meat of the sandwich (advice in the middle), and forgo the crusty, moldy bread on the outsides.

Remembering all the times I was too flustered or stressed out to speak coherently usually reminds me to be more patient and tolerant. "Stupid" people didn't choose to be stupid, and they can't do anything about it, any more than I can stop being an Aspie.
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I have learned silence from the talkative, toleration from the intolerant, and kindness from the unkind; yet, strange, I am ungrateful to those teachers. -- Kahlil Gibran

Nope----not gonna happen. I have found, throughout my life, that I benefited much, MUCH more from people who told me things, straight-up, then when they said things equivalent to "Aww, poor baby"----and, because of that, I feel it's important to pass it along that way, as well.

He, as ANY human, has a right to NOT listen----and, as I said, he will probably NOT, because most of us didn't, at that age (and, even age doesn't have alot to do with it----IMO, it has to do with emotional maturity, and when he gets "there", he'll recognize it, and then he'll try to pass it along to a young person, and that young person will probably poo-poo it, TOO----and, THAT'S the cycle, that continues)! !

Yeah i might've, sorry. But thanks, i'm usually good at solving these kind of problems for myself and i'm sure with time i can be more patient and friendly again

Well I certainly hope he has more tact when that moment comes.

I am still not great with this forum and dont feel like making many responses to quote all the things I would like to respond to, so...

1. Just because a person has less experience/years on this planet does not make them less than someone who is older! All age is is a meter of time alive. All that affects is your experience, not your innate abilities, and anyone who treats you as less than or bases thier opinions of you based solely on an age number is seriously limiting themselves and massively underestimating you. It is thier right to be stupid about this, a lot of (perhaps most) adults are, but you do not have to take them being dismissive of you based on your age to heart.

2. That being said, life experience is actually a cure to a lot of problems that come up in life because certain skills only grow with practice. How to deal with other humans is one of those. Gaining patience is another. There is no other way to learn patience in fact. Appropriately dealing with people who actively appear less intelligent than is easy for you to deal with is a learned skill and takes time. They do NOT get less annoying (no matter what anyone else has said, the annoyance will be easier to deal with, but the issue itself never gets less annoying), but you will learn that they don't mean to be and you will learn to find the aspects that you can discuss at an equal or semi-equal level. Depending on your IQ, there might not be many people who you will ever be able to talk with and know they are on a similar playing field. For my son (possibly son's, one hasn't been tested yet) and myself that means that we will find less than one person in a couple thousand whose brain works at the same level ours do. If we were to wait to interact just with those people we would live very lonely lives so we learn to adapt.

3. If everyone were as smart as you and excelled in the same areas you do, life would suck. Seriously. You would have miserable fast food workers who wished they were doing astrophysics. You would have nurses who would rather be pondering the meaning of the universe than doing thier job to take care of you. There would be no one who could hit the last ball of the sportball game out of the park to a stadium cheering fans. No one who could paint the Mona Lisa. However, you could come face to face with both the afformentioned differently gifted people and be frustrated by what you felt was them not functioning at a level you had the patience for in the areas you wanted to interact. What's more important is that they could very well feel exactly the same way about you! Think about that for a moment.

4. In the meantime while you gather that patience and life experience actively try to remember it's not a failing in them OR a failing in you that you are annoyed. With a high enough IQ a friendly discussion with someone at the top of the bell curve can feel like backtracking through molasses to get a point across clearly. When you add ASD in on top of being "highly or extremely gifted" (both clinical measurements for those who are unaware) then the whole thing can turn into the feeling of back tracking through molasses while playing a banjo and speaking in a language you don't know. The goal is to get yourself to a point where you can be happy with your social interactions with people. Look for interest groups. Look for the things the other person is skilled at and learn from them! Try focusing on the other person rather than on yourself or your reactions. Learn to adapt to the occaision. Consider it the most extreme puzzle game of them all where the stakes are your long term happiness.

Hope you find some help in this. I'm not here much, but feel free to message me if you want any clarification.

No need to apologize dude. In your OP you asked if ASD had anything to do it , I can't answer that , it might but as I said earlier it's a common trait in NT teens so maybe not

While listening, I try to come up with a "sound bite" that will concisely explain my position to the person I am talking with. I'll constantly edit and revise what I have to say so it takes into account the intelligence and background of my audience, based on what I have recently heard. If that doesn't work, I just move on.

That's the approach I take as well in one on one conversations, I'll move up or down the vocabulary ladder to meet my target audience and I'll try and explain things as clearly as possible. Obviously group conversations are different (and forum conversations for that matter). The moving on part is key, if the other person isn't willing to listen it's a lost cause and you're just wasting your time. All that said, at 17 his peers will accuse him of being 'fake' if they catch him speaking at two different levels (since teenagers rarely understand nuance), so that approach may not be effective for him until him and his peer group age a few more years.

Would you get annoyed with a cat or a dog, or a young child or someone with Down's Syndrome for their cognitive limitations? It would be illogical to do so because their cognitive limitations are based on physical neurological limitations beyond their control, or yours for that matter.

If there was a 'like button on this forum , i'd like this post /\

Well, the way each person defines "tact", is subjective, is it not? I get that my delivery style isn't for everyone----just as the people who are the opposite of me (the "Aww, poor baby" types), aren't for ME----but, IME, people who are more "okay" with my style (even they may not be totally thrilled with it), are the type who are more apt, IMO, to look in the mirror; and, I just don't see how that (looking in the mirror) could be anything other than wise.

I was going to write something different. Thanks for the heads up about the OP's age. The age does matter in this context.

What teenager doesn't think people (adults/most peers) aren't as dumb as a box of hair?

I have two MIT/Havard PhD friends (is that nerdy enough for the OP?), who are absolutely brilliant. They teach and do research. Both can talk to anyone. From the janitor to another big deal peer. I don't think the word *boring, low brow* has ever flirted across their minds in regards to others.

My Aspie husband loves to talk about big heavy subjects, about which 99% have no relevance to his immediate life. This 3rd world dictator. Peak oil. Fracking. CERN. So he learns all the facts/figures and dumps them as Aspie monologs.

What we finally figured out, that is one of the few ways he can have a "conversation". They are always subjects about 95% of the population don't know about, so people don't really question/talk during the monolog. They sort of nod their heads for 20 minutes, then it's, "What the hell was that?"

While my husband almost has the elegance of Buckley/Vidal in speech and subject matter, in reality is it's a one way information dump trying to connect with people.

Don't confuse being an intellectual with trying to control/monopolize a conversation. Are you having a conversation or information dumping?

Also I hate nonsense like the Kardashians, but not everything has to be discussed like a thesis either. The middle path make your life so much more enjoyable.

Enjoy being 17! One of the few ages you are old enough to enjoy things, and don't have to be adulting 24/7.

Tawaki,

The middle path is definitely the most enjoyable. I certainly have my favorite subjects. I have chosen social activities to coincide with my interests. When I go to tennis lessons, I can talk about my favorite players. I joined the church choir because I love to sing. I went to a folk dance class because I enjoy learning about different cultures and wondered if I could learn the dances. I was amazed at how I was able to learn to dance, because I always thought of myself as a klutz. There is definitely a way to stay true to yourself and also seek out social interaction.

I am reminded of what one of my favorite tennis players, Denis Istomin says, "It is important to be friendly, open to everybody and be funny." Being friendly and having a good sense of humor helps a lot.