Update on testing and dealing with my family

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Simon01
Raven
Raven

Joined: 21 Jan 2017
Age: 54
Gender: Male
Posts: 115
Location: San Antonio, Tx

22 Jul 2017, 3:54 pm

I finally got tested a couple of weeks ago and I'm awaiting the results and the follow-up appointment with the doctor.

I've been noticing that my parents seem very disturbingly enthusiastic about me possibly being diagnosed as having Asperger's, to the point of actually being very upset when I pointed out that I might not be an aspie. Basically, they've read about Asperger's and autism and unfortunately have fixated on only the negative aspects of it, such as social skill problems, problems with executive functioning, and special interests. So they're trying to superimpose those things onto my situation and have just ended up grossly misunderstanding what I'm dealing with.

Personally, I'm still ok with the idea I might be on the spectrum, but my attitude is just to be straightforward about it and use whatever I learn to better deal with my situation on my terms. I don't deny that I do have executive functioning problems, but in the recent past I've gotten a lot better at getting mundane things done such as housecleaning and organizing things in my apartment, as well as being more focused on my creative work and looking for ways to take things beyond it just being a hobby. And making serious plans to look for a real job once I know what might be diagnosed with so I know what sort of job would be best for me. Social skills have at times been a challenge but here too, I've gotten a lot better just by learning how to relax prior to any social gatherings or other situations where there's a lot of interacting. Essentially just getting a better idea about what I can handle and having supportive friends and acquaintances. Anyway-

What my parents are doing though is taking just the negative aspects of Asperger's and trying to both explain the problems I have and using their misinterpretations to connect Asperger's only to things I do or have done in the past they disapprove of anyway, and knowing about things like sensory issues and seeing the connection there with my needing sunglasses and headphones a lot more than most people, but turning what might be real aspie traits into weird habits or character flaws, and rehashing old arguments about those habits from when I was younger, for example, still thinking that my need for alone time was just a snub against them rather than a real need to *not* be around people all the time. They're basically ignoring what I've done in the recent past to understand my situation and are looking for something to give them an excuse to make me accept restrictions and supervision merely because while I'm getting more done today, it's not done "their" way and done without a lot of arbitrary rules and routines, and because they disapprove of how I spend my free time, they feel I need those extra restrictions. Thing is, they know they have no legal standing to make me do anything, but there's still a lot of paranoia and anxiety because of how brazen they are in assuming that if they badger me enough, I'll just give in to shut them up.

Short version: parent's seem to want me to be an aspie but only if they get to use that as a pretext to try to force me to accept outside control, but not as accepting if I simply get diagnosed and become more independent *because* I'll have a better understanding of my situation.