Am I very mildly autistic?

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I know that I definitely need to go to an actual doctor or whatever to find out if I have asperger or not but just because doing this is not easy for me ,I want to listen to other people's opinions firstly.

So I really don't usually have a problem understanding if someone else is bored etc.,I completely understand sarcasm and every kind of joke,I can sometimes feel empathy for other people (when I was younger it was easier for me),I feel like I completely understand social cues and what is appropriate to say in every situation and I can be very open and exciting sometimes when I am with people I feel comfortable with.

But 1)I feel like I live in my brain instead of the real world. Usually I forget where I am because I am always thinking about stuff.
2)I am VERY bad at anything that involves emotion. I am bad at understanding my emotions,bad at controlling them,HORRIBLE at showing my emotions.
3)Usually when I feel annoyed,scared,nervous,sad I completely "shut the doors" to the outside world.I find it almost impossible to answer to other people's questions. The discomfort is huge. It's also extremely rare for me to cry in front of other people.
4)I get extremely obsessive with stuff.When I was 13 I was obsessed with Europe and I learned every country and many cities of every country,climate,unemployment rates,religions,races etc. etc. I would literally spend 5 hours+ everyday searching and thinking about that stuff. Then I got obsessed with hair. For 2-3 years I could NOT stop thinking and searching about every hair type,how to handle each hairtype,hair growth rates etc.Then I started getting obsessed with musicians and I learned everything about them,every chart position,sales of every album,every belief they had,vocal range etc. Now I feel like I am completely obsessed with finding out what's going on with me. I am searching mental illnesses and other conditions all day long and can't stop thinking about this.
5)Ever since I can remember I spend an important amount of time drawing the same thing over and over again.I used to draw houses for hours every day.Now I draw female faces. I have literally spent more than 100.000 pages in the last few years... My thoughts are also very repetitive.
6)I despite most social interaction that is not done with a person that I am really familiar with and like.. I hate small talk,I hate eye contact,I hate smiling,I hate small talk. I only REALLY enjoy social interraction when it's deep and completely logical..I can get very excited and passionate when arguing with a friend about something interesting. When I meet a new person,most of the times I feel really uncomfortable.
7)I don't understand my emotions at all.I feel like my emotions and my thoughts are not related in any way..
I almost never feel actually comfortable and "chill".
9)I am an INTP/J personality with quite high I,N and T. (P/J are almost 50-50 for me)
10)It's very usual for me to find painful having to react/communicate with other people. I would say that most of the times I am extremely passive externally.
11)Most of the times I feel awkward and dont like it when other people touch me.
12)I HATE anything new.The first day in my university was so stressful for me that I couldn't even talk to anyone.
13)I CAN lie when it's for something that is not important but when I lie for something that feels important I can not even breathe and everyone can tell that I am lying... I tend to be 100% honest.
14)I feel like I am completely different than anyone else and it can be quite hard for me to live in the outside world sometimes.
15)I am amazing at everything that has to do with school.Especially maths
16)People usually think I am snobby or a douchebag because I struggle to show any emotion to new people so I can only give them pure logic and honesty.
17)I can be very good at small talk sometimes and meeting new people etc. but it always feels like I am absolutely pretending.

I can think of more stuff but there are the main reasons that made me come here.

Last edited by davidkaltsas on 07 Aug 2017, 7:05 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Have you completed any autism screening tests? One of the best is the Autism Spectrum Quotient (AQ) test. After you complete it, it calculates your score for you. WIRED magazine published it here: ( https://www.wired.com/2001/12/aqtest/ ).

I did the test a few hours ago.I got 34 but I am not 100% sure about my answers

The short answer is get a second and third opinion by using other internet tests - here are the other two most used by psychiatrists and psychologists - http://bit.ly/2aZqMGd - and - http://bit.ly/2tWXFOn

The long answer will take me a while to compile - but I'll keep popping back and forth hour by hour as I address every point that you have made. I'm a 72 years old male, married, autie/aspie, with a daughter and grandkids, and been coaching and counseling other auties/aspies for the past 23 years. I've only read the first 14 numbered points you've listed and already I'm seeing autie/aspie traits in you - and not mild ones - full blown ones - you even have so many near parallels with me that I'm regarding you as a close cousin of mine - probably from the same genetic autie/aspie bloodline as me. So I believe I can help you get your head around who, why, and what you are and help you to live long and prosper.

I write my stuff in Word before copying and pasting it here as I often copy and paste my replies to facebook, twitter, linked in, the huffington post and my own wordpress blogsite and sometimes into books I write. I am in the process of updating my memoirs at this minute and will probably use this reply in one of them, as you've been admirably analytical about yourself. And, so you know, that is a typical autie/aspie trait - navel gazing.

Last edited by adriantesq on 07 Aug 2017, 7:10 pm, edited 1 time in total.

It was uncanny: I relate to every single item in your self-description (although I don't recall how I ranked on the INTP/J personality test). I'm autistic, although I didn't speak until I was four years old, so I don't have Aspergers. I score 39 on the autism quotient test. I've spent time studying autism and neurology and your description is characteristic of autism spectrum disorder. Wrong Planet is a great place to compare experiences. It's helped me come to terms with being different from others, being frequently misunderstood and not adept socially, having certain special interests and repetitive behaviors. Stories people have shared on WP also show that having autism doesn't mean we can't achieve amazing and inspiring things.

I did the first of the 2 tests and I ranked at 126 which is a lot higher than "normal" people but slightly lower than the average person that has or is suspected to have asperger. The test said that I should get tested so I will probably do that when I get back to my city

Do you relate to the first paragraph as well? (the one that I explain the stuff that feel "normal" about me)

I have learned to read people, such as when they're excited, irritated, bored, and such, although sometimes I get so focused that I miss cues. I get sarcasm and understand when people are joking, although I may not laugh. I definitely feel empathy for people and even animals - I'm rather sensitive (if I see someone hurt themselves, I wince). I can be animated and interesting with people I'm familiar with, although it sounds like you're likely more open than I am. On the other hand, if I'm in a social situation with people I don't know well, it can be very difficult for me. I was at a dinner recently where people I barely knew, but who knew each other, were "ribbing" each other - pulling each others' legs, making mock insults - and I could smile and laugh a bit, but it was really obvious I didn't "flow" socially. It's as if I've learned all the rules of social behavior and can participate, but I'm doing it from inside my head, while the others are doing it in a spontaneous and extroverted way. Walking into an unfamiliar crowd and socializing is hard for me.
Getting tested is a good idea. Professionals have gotten better over the years at understanding and recognizing autism/Aspergers.

Last edited by EyeDash on 07 Aug 2017, 7:54 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I have a lot of the same interests as you (world cultures, music and autism, along with other medical issues), score 28 on the AQ test (borderline NT/AS) and am an INTJ. I haven't sought a diagnosis because I don't want to jeopardize the gains I have made in the past couple of years.

[/quote] 1)I feel like I live in my brain instead of the real world. Usually I forget where I am because I am always thinking about stuff.[/quote]

Living inside your brain is a typical idiosyncrasy of we auties/aspies. I often use the expression, ‘get my head on straight’, when starting a task, as if it is on wonky, or upside down, the rest of the time; and if I have need to make an appearance somewhere, I refer to my prior preparations and rehearsals for it as ‘psyching myself into it’.


[/quote] 2)I am VERY bad at anything that involves emotion. I am bad at understanding my emotions,bad at controlling them,HORRIBLE at showing my emotions. [/quote]

We are about 25-30 times as sensitive to sight, sound, smell, taste, touch and emotions as neurotypicals and that makes us susceptible to about 10 times as many senses as them. We get so overwhelmed with some of our senses that we have ‘meltdowns’ from ‘sensory overload’. These manifest in a variety of way, from making us go hide in a closet, to having screaming rages, to, in my case, dying, stone cold, autopsy ready, clinically dead, and coming back to life when it is safe to do so, which could be anything from a couple of minutes to a couple of days later. It is a type of suicide and I did it over 2,200 times by my mid teens, then left off doing it until one more time in late middle age. I’m regarded as an expert in the savantism/pedagogy of suicide avoidance/prevention, and teach it to auties/aspies worldwide pro bono by email autoresponder.


[/quote] 3)Usually when I feel annoyed,scared,nervous,sad I completely "shut the doors" to the outside world.I find it almost impossible to answer to other people's questions. The discomfort is huge. It's also extremely rare for me to cry in front of other people. [/quote]

I’m the same as you in that I shut myself down if any person or event takes me outside my comfort zone; and never let anyone see me weep except my nearest and dearest, nuclear family, as they know me better than the rest of the world. To the rest of the world, I’m a jolly, carefree, person, but my nuclear family knows me as a serious and caring one.


[/quote] 4)I get extremely obsessive with stuff.When I was 13 I was obsessed with Europe and I learned every country and many cities of every country,climate,unemployment rates,religions,races etc. etc. I would literally spend 5 hours+ everyday searching and thinking about that stuff. Then I got obsessed with hair. For 2-3 years I could NOT stop thinking and searching about every hair type,how to handle each hairtype,hair growth rates etc.Then I started getting obsessed with musicians and I learned everything about them,every chart position,sales of every album,every belief they had,vocal range etc. Now I feel like I am completely obsessed with finding out what's going on with me. I am searching mental illnesses and other conditions all day long and can't stop thinking about this. [/quote]

I have massive obsessions – my earliest was to build self sufficient church missionary settlements, complete with hospitals, clinics and surgeries, and universities, colleges and schools, housing, shops, offices, factories, farms, etc., in very country of the commonwealth of nations – that couldn’t come to pass as a head injury prevented me travelling abroad – so I switched to developing highways and other transportation systems worldwide to cut premature deaths due to highways and transportation, which was higher than any other cause in the 1960s when I began working – and in 1995 on my 50th birthday – I switched to cutting premature deaths due to suicide because they had become the #1 cause of premature deaths worldwide – to do those things I had first to qualify as a consul official, architect and town planner – then become a highways and transportation environmental engineer – then a book writer, publisher and marketer and mental health coach and counseller – and took these all in my stride with no difficulty whatsoever.


[/quote] 5)Ever since I can remember I spend an important amount of time drawing the same thing over and over again.I used to draw houses for hours every day.Now I draw female faces. I have literally spent more than 100.000 pages in the last few years... My thoughts are also very repetitive. [/quote]

Repetition plays an important part in the lives of all auties/aspies. It allows our natural neuroplasticity to prune away little used neurosynaptic electro chemical signal pathways and networks in our heads and recycle the stuff they are made from to reinforce the pathways and networks that get most use, and that way we make ourselves remember important stuff and forget unimportant stuff – this is why we find it so much easier than others to ‘cut the crap’ and focus on what is important – art, music, literature, philosophy and loving and forgiving each other unconditionally.


[/quote] 6)I despite most social interaction that is not done with a person that I am really familiar with and like.. I hate small talk,I hate eye contact,I hate smiling,I hate small talk. I only REALLY enjoy social interraction when it's deep and completely logical..I can get very excited and passionate when arguing with a friend about something interesting. When I meet a new person,most of the times I feel really uncomfortable. [/quote]

This is where cutting the crap gets the most exercise. It’s how we bond. We don’t bond with people who are full of crap. I didn’t bond with my parents and other family members, expect one, for that very reason. The others were full of crap. And that pattern continued in all my relationships in the remainder of my life, at school, at work, and in my retirement. I do not go out of my way to deliberately snub anyone – I just treat them kindly and love and forgive them ‘for they know not what thet do’. I call it God’s way – although I’m not religious – it is a benign way of treating worthless people who can’t help being who they are.


[/quote] 7)I don't understand my emotions at all.I feel like my emotions and my thoughts are not related in any way.. I almost never feel actually comfortable and "chill". [/quote]

There’s a reason you can’t chill. I’ll explain. It takes a bit of thought but it’s simple when pointed out to you. My mother’s maternal grandfather taught me. He was the only direct relative with whom I bonded in childhood and I owe my entire being to him. I died of oxygen starvation in the womb and was born a blue baby. Between those events I have memories of going to heaven and being held by God. I died in car accident on the way home and again have similar memories of what happened between my dying and coming back to life. I died of a cot death in the early hours of the following morning and have memories of being christened in heaven and of being assigned secret invisible heavenly friends to guide and mentor me through life, namely, they were God the Father, God the Son, God the Holy Spirit, Gaea, Zeus, Hermes, King David of Israel, Emperor Adrian of Rome, Thomas a Didymus, and The Grim Reaper. But my mother’s maternal grandfather, who was a deaf, dumb, autistic, feral, druid, shaman, taught me that I also had impersonal guides and mentors who would manage my meaning and purpose for me, namely, Life, Death, Nature, Fate, Fortune, Creation, the Universe, and All That, Whatever. When your intentions align with theirs, you will be able to understand everything and cope with anything, and thus achieve the impossible and improbable, without any effort whatsoever. I can do miracles. I save thousands of people’s lives. Millions probably. And I teach all this pro bono in my autie/aspie suicide avoidance and prevention savantism and pedagogy courses, as we auties/ aspies are 25-30 times as susceptible to suicide ideations and attempts as non auties/aspies. Hence, I teach auties/aspies how to chill.


[/quote] 9)I am an INTP/J personality with quite high I,N and T. (P/J are almost 50-50 for me) [/quote]

I’m also an INTP/J personality and most auties/aspies I’ve coached and counselled (about 80,000) have been too.


[/quote] 10)It's very usual for me to find painful having to react/communicate with other people. I would say that most of the times I am extremely passive externally. [/quote]

I’m utterly useless at small talk and avoid other people like the plague for that reason, even other auties/aspies. I did some research back in 2013 to work out how many communication failures occur between me and other people. I concluded 7 out of every 8 engagements between me and non-auties/aspies are ‘fails’. And 63 out of every 64 engagements between me and other auties/aspies are ‘fails’. This is because obsessive compulsive disorder and attention deficit disorder play competitive silly buggers with the electro chemical neuro synaptic signals travelling in from our senses, throught our processing unit, and back out to our motor organs.


[/quote] 11)Most of the times I feel awkward and dont like it when other people touch me. [/quote]

I hate being touched and I am not ‘touchy/feely’ myself not even with my nearest and dearest. And clothing drives me nuts. Labels on tee shirts give me hell. And fluff off some underpants gets under my foreskin and makes me itch without mercy. I have to fold my legs in public when it happens so I don’t offend people by scratching and rubbing it to relieve the itching. This is very common among auties/aspies. Female auties/aspies are even worse off than males in this regard as their clitoris is more sensitive than a penis, because it has about 80 times as many nerve endings.


[/quote] 12)I HATE anything new.The first day in my university was so stressful for me that I couldn't even talk to anyone. [/quote]

I hate anything new too. Upgrading to Windows 10 drove me nuts, as did upgrading to Windows 8. And I use a Project Planning software called Mind Genius that also drives me nuts each time it is upgraded. Why can’t people keep things simple?


[/quote] 13)I CAN lie when it's for something that is not important but when I lie for something that feels important I can not even breathe and everyone can tell that I am lying... I tend to be 100% honest. [/quote]

I am the same with lying and with the truth as you are. When in full time employment I refused to fill in fraudulent expenses claims even though my boss directed me to. That ‘everyone else does it’ is no justification to me.


[/quote] 14)I feel like I am completely different than anyone else and it can be quite hard for me to live in the outside world sometimes. [/quote]

We are all different, but we auties/aspies represent a quarter of 1% of the population, so there’s 18,750,000 of us. So, you are not alone. There must be about 100,000 members belong to Wrongplanet. I’ve been a member since the day before I retired from full time employment. It’s a fabulous community.


[/quote] 15)I am amazing at everything that has to do with school.Especially maths [/quote]

I was also amazing at school. I could read and write and do math, art, music, science, literature, religion, philsophy and the physical crafts and sciences, to university external entrance exam standard by age 3½, won my first scholarship at 8½ and my second and third at 11½, and passed the highest attainable professional qualification in the UK and Commonwealth at 15½ (Esquire of the Royal Division) to become a county surveyor, city engineer, or consul official, colony governor, or foreign office ambassador.


[/quote] 16)People usually think I am snobby or a douchebag because I struggle to show any emotion to new people so I can only give them pure logic and honesty. [/quote]

At Nursery and Infants School, I was locked in a storeroom all day every day, to prevent my dying and coming back to life disrupting the curriculum. At Junior School, the teachers and other pupils tried to kill me as a witch. The reason I couldn’t go abroad to build missionary settlements was that I was attacked on my way home from qualifying by two head teachers and some prefects, who cracked my head open and sliced up my brains so if I survived I’d be a cabbage. I had amnesia for the next 35 years of my life, but even so developed an outstanding 50 year professional career and a brilliant pension to fund a fabulous retirement of saving lives.


[/quote] 17)I can be very good at small talk sometimes and meeting new people etc. but it always feels like I am absolutely pretending. [/quote]

I can put on a show to be polite, and often have to, as my wife and my daughter and grandkids are very gregarious, so we get invited to many social functions – but there endeth my ability to socialise – the polite nod and handshake is about all I can manage without wanting to be sick.


[/quote] I can think of more stuff but there are the main reasons that made me come here. [/quote]

Phew! I'm glad you didnt list any more!

1)I feel like I live in my brain instead of the real world. Usually I forget where I am because I am always thinking about stuff.[/quote]

Living inside your brain is a typical idiosyncrasy of we auties/aspies. I often use the expression, ‘get my head on straight’, when starting a task, as if it is on wonky, or upside down, the rest of the time; and if I have need to make an appearance somewhere, I refer to my prior preparations and rehearsals for it as ‘psyching myself into it’.


[/quote] 2)I am VERY bad at anything that involves emotion. I am bad at understanding my emotions,bad at controlling them,HORRIBLE at showing my emotions. [/quote]

We are about 25-30 times as sensitive to sight, sound, smell, taste, touch and emotions as neurotypicals and that makes us susceptible to about 10 times as many senses as them. We get so overwhelmed with some of our senses that we have ‘meltdowns’ from ‘sensory overload’. These manifest in a variety of way, from making us go hide in a closet, to having screaming rages, to, in my case, dying, stone cold, autopsy ready, clinically dead, and coming back to life when it is safe to do so, which could be anything from a couple of minutes to a couple of days later. It is a type of suicide and I did it over 2,200 times by my mid teens, then left off doing it until one more time in late middle age. I’m regarded as an expert in the savantism/pedagogy of suicide avoidance/prevention, and teach it to auties/aspies worldwide pro bono by email autoresponder.


[/quote] 3)Usually when I feel annoyed,scared,nervous,sad I completely "shut the doors" to the outside world.I find it almost impossible to answer to other people's questions. The discomfort is huge. It's also extremely rare for me to cry in front of other people. [/quote]

I’m the same as you in that I shut myself down if any person or event takes me outside my comfort zone; and never let anyone see me weep except my nearest and dearest, nuclear family, as they know me better than the rest of the world. To the rest of the world, I’m a jolly, carefree, person, but my nuclear family knows me as a serious and caring one.


[/quote] 4)I get extremely obsessive with stuff.When I was 13 I was obsessed with Europe and I learned every country and many cities of every country,climate,unemployment rates,religions,races etc. etc. I would literally spend 5 hours+ everyday searching and thinking about that stuff. Then I got obsessed with hair. For 2-3 years I could NOT stop thinking and searching about every hair type,how to handle each hairtype,hair growth rates etc.Then I started getting obsessed with musicians and I learned everything about them,every chart position,sales of every album,every belief they had,vocal range etc. Now I feel like I am completely obsessed with finding out what's going on with me. I am searching mental illnesses and other conditions all day long and can't stop thinking about this. [/quote]

I have massive obsessions – my earliest was to build self sufficient church missionary settlements, complete with hospitals, clinics and surgeries, and universities, colleges and schools, housing, shops, offices, factories, farms, etc., in very country of the commonwealth of nations – that couldn’t come to pass as a head injury prevented me travelling abroad – so I switched to developing highways and other transportation systems worldwide to cut premature deaths due to highways and transportation, which was higher than any other cause in the 1960s when I began working – and in 1995 on my 50th birthday – I switched to cutting premature deaths due to suicide because they had become the #1 cause of premature deaths worldwide – to do those things I had first to qualify as a consul official, architect and town planner – then become a highways and transportation environmental engineer – then a book writer, publisher and marketer and mental health coach and counseller – and took these all in my stride with no difficulty whatsoever.


[/quote] 5)Ever since I can remember I spend an important amount of time drawing the same thing over and over again.I used to draw houses for hours every day.Now I draw female faces. I have literally spent more than 100.000 pages in the last few years... My thoughts are also very repetitive. [/quote]

Repetition plays an important part in the lives of all auties/aspies. It allows our natural neuroplasticity to prune away little used neurosynaptic electro chemical signal pathways and networks in our heads and recycle the stuff they are made from to reinforce the pathways and networks that get most use, and that way we make ourselves remember important stuff and forget unimportant stuff – this is why we find it so much easier than others to ‘cut the crap’ and focus on what is important – art, music, literature, philosophy and loving and forgiving each other unconditionally.


[/quote] 6)I despite most social interaction that is not done with a person that I am really familiar with and like.. I hate small talk,I hate eye contact,I hate smiling,I hate small talk. I only REALLY enjoy social interraction when it's deep and completely logical..I can get very excited and passionate when arguing with a friend about something interesting. When I meet a new person,most of the times I feel really uncomfortable. [/quote]

This is where cutting the crap gets the most exercise. It’s how we bond. We don’t bond with people who are full of crap. I didn’t bond with my parents and other family members, expect one, for that very reason. The others were full of crap. And that pattern continued in all my relationships in the remainder of my life, at school, at work, and in my retirement. I do not go out of my way to deliberately snub anyone – I just treat them kindly and love and forgive them ‘for they know not what thet do’. I call it God’s way – although I’m not religious – it is a benign way of treating worthless people who can’t help being who they are.


[/quote] 7)I don't understand my emotions at all.I feel like my emotions and my thoughts are not related in any way.. I almost never feel actually comfortable and "chill". [/quote]

There’s a reason you can’t chill. I’ll explain. It takes a bit of thought but it’s simple when pointed out to you. My mother’s maternal grandfather taught me. He was the only direct relative with whom I bonded in childhood and I owe my entire being to him. I died of oxygen starvation in the womb and was born a blue baby. Between those events I have memories of going to heaven and being held by God. I died in car accident on the way home and again have similar memories of what happened between my dying and coming back to life. I died of a cot death in the early hours of the following morning and have memories of being christened in heaven and of being assigned secret invisible heavenly friends to guide and mentor me through life, namely, they were God the Father, God the Son, God the Holy Spirit, Gaea, Zeus, Hermes, King David of Israel, Emperor Adrian of Rome, Thomas a Didymus, and The Grim Reaper. But my mother’s maternal grandfather, who was a deaf, dumb, autistic, feral, druid, shaman, taught me that I also had impersonal guides and mentors who would manage my meaning and purpose for me, namely, Life, Death, Nature, Fate, Fortune, Creation, the Universe, and All That, Whatever. When your intentions align with theirs, you will be able to understand everything and cope with anything, and thus achieve the impossible and improbable, without any effort whatsoever. I can do miracles. I save thousands of people’s lives. Millions probably. And I teach all this pro bono in my autie/aspie suicide avoidance and prevention savantism and pedagogy courses, as we auties/ aspies are 25-30 times as susceptible to suicide ideations and attempts as non auties/aspies. Hence, I teach auties/aspies how to chill.


[/quote] 9)I am an INTP/J personality with quite high I,N and T. (P/J are almost 50-50 for me) [/quote]

I’m also an INTP/J personality and most auties/aspies I’ve coached and counselled (about 80,000) have been too.


[/quote] 10)It's very usual for me to find painful having to react/communicate with other people. I would say that most of the times I am extremely passive externally. [/quote]

I’m utterly useless at small talk and avoid other people like the plague for that reason, even other auties/aspies. I did some research back in 2013 to work out how many communication failures occur between me and other people. I concluded 7 out of every 8 engagements between me and non-auties/aspies are ‘fails’. And 63 out of every 64 engagements between me and other auties/aspies are ‘fails’. This is because obsessive compulsive disorder and attention deficit disorder play competitive silly buggers with the electro chemical neuro synaptic signals travelling in from our senses, throught our processing unit, and back out to our motor organs.


[/quote] 11)Most of the times I feel awkward and dont like it when other people touch me. [/quote]

I hate being touched and I am not ‘touchy/feely’ myself not even with my nearest and dearest. And clothing drives me nuts. Labels on tee shirts give me hell. And fluff off some underpants gets under my foreskin and makes me itch without mercy. I have to fold my legs in public when it happens so I don’t offend people by scratching and rubbing it to relieve the itching. This is very common among auties/aspies. Female auties/aspies are even worse off than males in this regard as their clitoris is more sensitive than a penis, because it has about 80 times as many nerve endings.


[/quote] 12)I HATE anything new.The first day in my university was so stressful for me that I couldn't even talk to anyone. [/quote]

I hate anything new too. Upgrading to Windows 10 drove me nuts, as did upgrading to Windows 8. And I use a Project Planning software called Mind Genius that also drives me nuts each time it is upgraded. Why can’t people keep things simple?


[/quote] 13)I CAN lie when it's for something that is not important but when I lie for something that feels important I can not even breathe and everyone can tell that I am lying... I tend to be 100% honest. [/quote]

I am the same with lying and with the truth as you are. When in full time employment I refused to fill in fraudulent expenses claims even though my boss directed me to. That ‘everyone else does it’ is no justification to me.


[/quote] 14)I feel like I am completely different than anyone else and it can be quite hard for me to live in the outside world sometimes. [/quote]

We are all different, but we auties/aspies represent a quarter of 1% of the population, so there’s 18,750,000 of us. So, you are not alone. There must be about 100,000 members belong to Wrongplanet. I’ve been a member since the day before I retired from full time employment. It’s a fabulous community.


[/quote] 15)I am amazing at everything that has to do with school.Especially maths [/quote]

I was also amazing at school. I could read and write and do math, art, music, science, literature, religion, philsophy and the physical crafts and sciences, to university external entrance exam standard by age 3½, won my first scholarship at 8½ and my second and third at 11½, and passed the highest attainable professional qualification in the UK and Commonwealth at 15½ (Esquire of the Royal Division) to become a county surveyor, city engineer, or consul official, colony governor, or foreign office ambassador.


[/quote] 16)People usually think I am snobby or a douchebag because I struggle to show any emotion to new people so I can only give them pure logic and honesty. [/quote]

At Nursery and Infants School, I was locked in a storeroom all day every day, to prevent my dying and coming back to life disrupting the curriculum. At Junior School, the teachers and other pupils tried to kill me as a witch. The reason I couldn’t go abroad to build missionary settlements was that I was attacked on my way home from qualifying by two head teachers and some prefects, who cracked my head open and sliced up my brains so if I survived I’d be a cabbage. I had amnesia for the next 35 years of my life, but even so developed an outstanding 50 year professional career and a brilliant pension to fund a fabulous retirement of saving lives.


[/quote] 17)I can be very good at small talk sometimes and meeting new people etc. but it always feels like I am absolutely pretending. [/quote]

I can put on a show to be polite, and often have to, as my wife and my daughter and grandkids are very gregarious, so we get invited to many social functions – but there endeth my ability to socialise – the polite nod and handshake is about all I can manage without wanting to be sick.


[/quote] I can think of more stuff but there are the main reasons that made me come here. [/quote]

Phew! I'm glad you didnt list any more![/quote]

Wow thank you for the huge answer

I would seek a professional diagnosis if affordable. I wasted a decade suspecting the same but being convinced otherwise by peers, in my view the earlier you get confirmation/refutation the better.

I have an appointment with a psychiatrist in September 4th so I can talk to her about this