Am I an Aspie?

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Zombie Bride (I can't beleive I just typed that) and our young friend and Stampy's greatest fan talk much sense. The one-line tests are good, they are, but they are not a diagnosis and no one here can give you a diagnosis. The truth is we can not tell you, what we can do share our experinces, for what they are worth. It is an old cliche but one worth repeating "when you have met one person with autism you have met one person with autism" We are perhaps more different from each other than we are from the predominate neuro type. The tests tell you if its an avenue worth chasing up, no more, no less.

There is without a doubt people here who are as autisitc as I am and the vast majority of the users of this forum who do not have a diagnosis. There are also undoubtly people here who are not autistic but "think" they might be. The punch line is that there is only one way to be sure. I self diagnosed and then booked and cancelled 2 appointments at the clinc before I went for my assessment. If you are diagnosed its not something you can take back, it changes nothing and changes everything and is not something to be taken lightly. That said I never met anyone who regreted finding out.

I think the main question you need to ask yourself is have you always, from being a small child felt this way, have the difficulties you discribe. What was school like, were you bullied?

Last edited by Voxish on 29 Aug 2017, 11:39 am, edited 1 time in total.

Thanks ^^^^^^^

I have always felt different. That sounds extremely cliche, I know. I should actually say, I've always KNOWN I'm different. I grew up in a huge family of mostly older siblings, and I went to a private school until grade 9 (highschool). I've always chalked up my differences to that.
I live in rural Ontario, Canada, so bullying doesn't really get bad in a school of 600. I remember recieving insults that i had trouble understanding the insulting part, such as F*** you and f*gg*t, but that never really bothered me. I think people tended to be pretty accepting in my school, and i had already learned to keep quiet and not look at people you didn't want to interact with (from avoiding siblings that liked to poke me evertime i walked by). Up until highschool, i went to small schools of no more than 20-30 students and my dad was the principal.

I want to reiterate, that I'm just using this site as a research tool.

I've already had my mind opened so much from researching asd.

As ZombieBrideXD noted, online tests are subject to confirmation bias and are really only good for helping you determine if an assessment might be worthwhile to pursue.

Asperger's is often described as disorder that comprises social communication deficits and restricted and/or repetitive behaviors. It is the social communication deficits that has had the biggest impact on my life. I don't really have friends and when I get friends I don't keep them. I don't date. People often misunderstand me. I am, I am learning, terrible at picking up subtle social cues and non-verbal communication. I miss them and miss them and then all of a sudden, bam, I get blindsided when my friends just walk away. I'm left sitting there wondering "Things were going so well. I'm honest and sincere and I'm always a nice guy. What the heck did I do wrong?" I have innumerable scars on my body from cutting during meltdowns and have broken lots of furniture in my life. Asperger's has had, and continues to have, a huge impact on my life. This is just my experience with it. It is not at all to say if you had Asperger's your experience might not be (and probably would be) different. I guess I'm trying to say that I think anyone with an ASD, regardless of how HF, experiences it in significant way. I read something recently (In a post here I think ... I wish I could credit it) that said "Mild Autism does not mean I experience my Autism mildly, if means YOU experience my Autism mildly" Good stuff.

So perhaps, instead of getting lost in all the specific symptoms of Asperger's (very easy to do), step back a bit and focus on why it matters to you. If have it, then what? If you don't, then what? Are you having problems you are looking for a solution for? For me, Asperger's was the only thing that explained all of the struggles, hardships and general oddness in my life. My Dx brought me peace. I wasn't a broken NT (and I felt very very broken), I was a normal Aspie. It has also given me a context for trying to improve on things I have always struggled with. Like relationships. I never knew I was missing social cues (I didn't even know what a social cue was). Now I know and I'm getting help working on it.

If you do ever decide to go for a professional Dx I would consider seeing a neuro-psychologist. I got a Dx first from a clinical psychologist and I didn't trust it. It seemed too subjective. I went to a neuro-psychologist after that and they did many hours of testing to build a cognitive profile and that Dx was based on those more objective tests in addition to observation and history (have you looked at your history yet? I had a long conversation with my mother about my childhood that was quite interesting). The tests also resulted in a Dx of ADD, which surprised me at first, but made a lot of sense after I thought about it. I value the insight into my brain's strengths and weaknesses that I got from this.

Good luck.

I wanna thank everyone who's posted. You' ve been a big help. Hopefully we've helped future people too, who are going to be googling this stuff. I found reading forums on aspiecentral, psychforums, and this site answered alot of questions I had. Created tons more too, but I think I'm closer to wherever I'm going.

Posting has really helped me put my issues in perspective.

Soloha, i think what ultimately caused this search is my lack of any understanding when it comes to intimacy/relationships with the opposite sex. I've spent enough time with guys to know whats appropriate enough to say, and when in doubt, laugh/chuckle. Girls are a totally different matter though. The only girls I can get along with are the ones that hang out with guys mostly. I've never had a girlfriend (never felt like having one till this past year). I met a girl I really liked, but didn't realize it until after she got a boyfriend, and the sudden depression set in. It felt like there was something physically compressing my chest. Anyone ever felt this before?

I've also been worried that I should have more friends, cuz they seem to be dispersing (not because of me, i don't think). But I'm not so worried now, cuz I have a couple close friends, and now that I've done research, a couple doesn't seem so bad.

Also I really like that line about "mild autism". I read it a couple days ago and it made me laugh out loud

Thanks for the advice about the neuropsychologist.

Why would you want to call yourself an Aspie? The more mature thing for grown ups is to say person with Asperger's.

It's autistic person, not person with Asperger's.

I think we can use whatever terms we want to describe ourselves. Some people like the term "Aspie", and they are allowed to use it. That doesn't mean you have to use it. I don't mean to be rude with this post, but people are entitled to their own opinions and to be honest I'm a little sick of what terms I can and can't use to describe my own disorder. It pushes people away from our community, instead of encouraging them to learn more.

Who says I'm grown up?

You go, kid !

I'm sorry if you don't like the term Aspie. I meant no offence. I don't care what words other people use, but "Person with Asperger's" or "Person with Autism" sounds like a disease or a defect - something you have, not something you are - so I don't use them. "Austic person" is better. It's more like an attribute like "brown hair". I like "Aspie" best. I wasn't aware Aspie carried a negative connotation for some. What is it you dislike about it? In what way do you find it immature?

Last edited by soloha on 29 Aug 2017, 6:13 pm, edited 3 times in total.

Aspergers/autism are not diseases. That's for sure.

It's just my opinion. To me it sounds juvenile.

You're right, autism is not a disease. It is a neurological disorder that cutie names like Aspie appear to trivialize. It's an attempt to appear cool and quite understable. You can't blame kids for wanting that however grown adults that want to be taken seriously act accordingly.

Agree with all of this 100%. The only point I was making is that I wouldn't discount the possibility that one is on the spectrum simply because one doesn't have classic stims or because one haven't had an identifiable meltdown or shutdown.

So far, I think everyone who has posted is in perfect agreement that the only reliable way of knowing for sure is to get a formal assessment with a qualified psychologist.

Its like the term "American".

Those folks who call themselves "American" just make my blood BOIL! its such a juvenile cutesy term. Its just makes me homicidally angry!

We citizens of the United States should only call ourselves "Persons with United Statesness"!

Or "Persons with United Stateseality".

I'm a Yankee, and proud of it

I was having a sheet night and you just made me laugh out loud. I think I need to reconsider the validity of my diagnosis. Aspie's don't have a sense of humor. Neither do Americans, if you ask a Brit.

Last edited by soloha on 29 Aug 2017, 8:36 pm, edited 2 times in total.