I find social interaction MUCH easier with foreign people

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Joe90
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07 Jul 2011, 12:30 pm

Although I'm not that bad at making friends and communicating with people, I still seem to get on really well with people who only speak a little English, and all the social interactions come more smoothly. I have a Polish friend, and he is (as far as I know) NT, but finds speaking English rather hard, and only knows words you use the most, and you could just about have a small conversation with him, even though you've got to really concentrate on what he's trying to say. I thought this would be extra hard for an Aspie, because I've got to ''read'' his facial expression, tone of voice, and body language in order to get what he is trying to say, (although I'm not bad at ''reading'' non-verbal cues). But it's funny because I thought it would be tricker talking to a foreign person, but it's actually so easy for me. I don't feel shy at all, and I actually feel very dominent. I find it really, really easy to say ''no'' to him, but I find it hard to say ''no'' to English people. It's really strange. Also I find that foreign people don't judge me so much, and they really like me, and can't seem to see any weirdness at all. (I can usually tell when somebody is judging me).

Anyone else feel you can interact with foreign people better? Anyone know why exactly?


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gailryder17
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07 Jul 2011, 12:40 pm

It's actually awkward for me, I assume (only with certain cases). Sometimes it isn't.


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League_Girl
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07 Jul 2011, 12:44 pm

It's the opposite for me. I have a hard time talking to anyone who has a thick accent or speaks very poor English. I have been told I need to read their body language but it's so difficult for me. But yet everyone else seems to understand them just fine and not me. Perhaps it's their body language they are reading.



OJani
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07 Jul 2011, 4:38 pm

Joe90 wrote:
Anyone else feel you can interact with foreign people better? Anyone know why exactly?

Although I wouldn't say I "interact" well with foreign people here on WP (I don't interact well obviously even here), I find it definitely easier to write about things or myself than on any other forums native to me. Somehow it seems remote, and I don't feel as much concerned or anxious about it.

When a communication channel is limited and this limitation is obvious, the expectations are not as high consequently. The communication through it is easier as long as you keep in mind its limitations.



Dantac
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07 Jul 2011, 4:57 pm

I find it easier as well. I think the language barrier puts both parties on equal grounds when it comes to verbal socializing.


Also, at least in my case, language barrier = NO small talk. Or at least a very sporadic, pause-filled small chat that is manageable.



Zen
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07 Jul 2011, 4:58 pm

Yes. I always figured it was because I felt like an outsider myself.



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07 Jul 2011, 7:22 pm

Yeah..kinda like Zen. But, honestly, I'm also coming close to the conclusion that those around me (NT U.S. folks) are also 'foreigners'. They speak differently than I do, they dress differently, they have different traditions, different priorities...With all my work to 'fit in' with the NT's here, I'm a prime candidate for 'fitting in' with 'true' foreigners. Plus, with the differently-originated foreigners (whether they're here in the States or I'm in 'their' land - such as when I was in Mexico - ), I've found that their communicative expectations of me were much more realistic. And, in general, I've seen that lower(ed) communicative expectations often = more realistic behavioral expectations. When such circumstances/parameters are brought into 'play', we all get along so much better and so much longer.


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07 Jul 2011, 7:24 pm

Dae wrote:
Yeah..kinda like Zen. But, honestly, I'm also coming close to the conclusion that those around me (NT U.S. folks) are also 'foreigners'. They speak differently than I do, they dress differently, they have different traditions, different priorities...With all my work to 'fit in' with the NT's here, I'm a prime candidate for 'fitting in' with 'true' foreigners. Plus, with the differently-originated foreigners (whether they're here in the States or I'm in 'their' land - such as when I was in Mexico - ), I've found that their communicative expectations of me were much more realistic. And, in general, I've seen that lower(ed) communicative expectations often = more realistic behavioral expectations. When such circumstances/parameters are brought into 'play', we all get along so much better and so much longer.


This.


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syrella
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07 Jul 2011, 7:42 pm

I do better with people from different cultures. I always just assumed that it was because they are less judgmental and tend not to notice my many quirks. Or if they do, they are polite enough not to say anything and forgiving enough to assume maybe it's just a "cultural" difference. Hehe.


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littlelily613
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07 Jul 2011, 9:44 pm

I don't find it EASY to interact with anyone really; HOWEVER, I do mind it much easier with foreigners than I do with neurotypical non-foreigners. I think this is because foreigners know what it is like to be different and what it is like to not fully be part of the mainstream. With really popular, assimilated foreigners, even if still new to the country, I find difficult as well. But in general. yes: easier with foreigners than locals.


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Phonic
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07 Jul 2011, 9:47 pm

Joe90 wrote:
Anyone know why exactly?


Why is it easier? because that person is as lost as you. you're both on the wrong planet.


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07 Jul 2011, 9:48 pm

Try people who live in the Bahamas; friendly and non-judgemental people live there :)


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rjs_11
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29 Aug 2017, 4:00 pm

syrella wrote:
I do better with people from different cultures. I always just assumed that it was because they are less judgmental and tend not to notice my many quirks. Or if they do, they are polite enough not to say anything and forgiving enough to assume maybe it's just a "cultural" difference. Hehe.


I've often felt the same way.



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29 Aug 2017, 4:15 pm

Yes.

I think coming from the UK our culture makes people guarded, politeness is valued. Foreigners seem to just say what they think. They have no false modesty. They're just themselves with no UK politeness games.

I find the Polish very straight forward and easy to talk to.



TUAndrew
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29 Aug 2017, 4:26 pm

I feel the same. Many of my friends have English as their second language. I think it's because there's much more to talk about when you're learning eachother's culture, where as if I'm with a 'native' British person then it's just me getting used to their NT ways.



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29 Aug 2017, 4:45 pm

Maybe that explains my curious interest in different cultures. English was my second language, so I pay close attention to other cultures.