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Lost_dragon
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14 Sep 2017, 10:36 am

I don't tend to have issues with eye contact, but there have been rare times where I have been unable to look at someone directly in the eyes. My old art teacher used to yell at me for this, and would refuse to have a proper conversation with me until I held eye contact with him. I hated it. :(

There was also a few teaching assistants that I was like this with. I remember one where I would always ask myself "Why can't I bring myself to look at her?", and to this day I'm unsure why. There was just something unnerving about her, maybe it was the scratchy voice. Either way, I avoided eye contact with her at all costs. I remember one of my science teachers had these really piercing blue eyes and an unwavering stare, which would freak people out a bit.

These days I don't feel this discomfort, but I do tend to over-analyse people I'll admit. Was that slight glance a negative thing? Did I just annoy that person? Or do they just have something in their eye? Should I glance back, or am I looking too much? Do they think I'm being negative? I just end up with so many questions in my head about it, but I realise that I shouldn't over-think it too much because it's probably nothing. I'd say around 16 I started to get the hang of the whole eye contact thing, and I don't have an issue with it anymore. I'm currently writing a story with a character who has these issues though, she's based off some of my experiences. :)


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14 Sep 2017, 10:50 am

I do fake eye contact but only for a few seconds or so, then look down. Up and down, all the time during a conversation. And no, I don't "feel" the eye contact, I just do it because I know it's an expected part of communication and it establishes a connection. If not for me, then hopefully to them.



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14 Sep 2017, 12:14 pm

last year i was talking to my mother and she was telling me she was going to finally fix her lazy eye. I looked at her eyes it was clear as day, one was completely looking the wrong way, she had been like this for 20 years, after a failed operation on it.

20 years, and i had never noticed.


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StampySquiddyFan
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14 Sep 2017, 3:00 pm

SplendidSnail wrote:
Before it came to my attention that I might have Asperger's five months ago, I actually did think that everyone felt the same way as I do when looking people in the eye. I also didn't realise how little eye contact I made compared with others.


Before it came to my attention that I might have Asperger's, I thought eye contact was only something people did when they were negotiating a business deal or applying for a job :lol: !


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Dear_one
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14 Sep 2017, 3:10 pm

Robert Persig notes that teachers' manuals all emphasize the importance of eye contact, but none explain it. That may be why I found classes such a waste of time. I remember once having to have a wart on my foot removed by radiation, because the usual treatment did not work. It is actually a placebo, but a guy in a white coat painting your wart purple is convincing - if you look into his eyes.



starcats
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14 Sep 2017, 6:22 pm

I always wonder, do those of you with eye contact aversions get the same feelings with animals? I am very selective about it with people, but I can look into a cat, dog, or horse's eyes with no problems. Maybe because it's been explained what it means and the proper way to do it without being intimidating to an animal? And they play the blinking game back which has another specific meaning? Eye contact with birds is a little much.



dragonsanddemons
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14 Sep 2017, 7:15 pm

starcats wrote:
I always wonder, do those of you with eye contact aversions get the same feelings with animals? I am very selective about it with people, but I can look into a cat, dog, or horse's eyes with no problems. Maybe because it's been explained what it means and the proper way to do it without being intimidating to an animal? And they play the blinking game back which has another specific meaning? Eye contact with birds is a little much.


I think a significant part of why prolonged eye contact makes me uncomfortable is because I have more animal-ish instincts regarding it - I think my brain perceives prolonged eye contact as a threat. It's easier for me with animals because they'll do it in a way that's more comfortable for me. I know I'm naturally good at putting animals at ease with my eyes. And usually their eye contact also feels less intense than that of humans.


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Dear_one
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14 Sep 2017, 7:23 pm

Animals have many different attitudes to eye contact. If you should happen to be walking through the jungle, and see a tiger tail dangling down (yes, they often forget) DO NOT look up. If you ignore the cat, it may let you pass, but if you lock eyes, it will attack instantly. Horses are not too keen on eye contact, either, but body language makes them easy to get along with.



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14 Sep 2017, 7:54 pm

starcats wrote:
I always wonder, do those of you with eye contact aversions get the same feelings with animals? I am very selective about it with people, but I can look into a cat, dog, or horse's eyes with no problems. Maybe because it's been explained what it means and the proper way to do it without being intimidating to an animal? And they play the blinking game back which has another specific meaning? Eye contact with birds is a little much.

I'm pretty sure I don't have any difficulty looking animals in the eyes.


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BeggingTurtle
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14 Sep 2017, 10:11 pm

Dear_one wrote:
Animals have many different attitudes to eye contact. If you should happen to be walking through the jungle, and see a tiger tail dangling down (yes, they often forget) DO NOT look up. If you ignore the cat, it may let you pass, but if you lock eyes, it will attack instantly. Horses are not too keen on eye contact, either, but body language makes them easy to get along with.

Both my turtles are comfortable enough to make eye contact with me. They get bored pretty quickly though; they would rather walk around, swim, or play games with me or each other.


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AspieSingleDad
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14 Sep 2017, 10:50 pm

StampySquiddyFan wrote:
SplendidSnail wrote:
Before it came to my attention that I might have Asperger's five months ago, I actually did think that everyone felt the same way as I do when looking people in the eye. I also didn't realise how little eye contact I made compared with others.


Before it came to my attention that I might have Asperger's, I thought eye contact was only something people did when they were negotiating a business deal or applying for a job :lol: !


This is exactly what I do as well. I'll look somebody in the eye for a very brief period and than sorta move my eyes around making brief contact here and there. For the longest time, I thought it was how everybody made eye contact. I didn't think people actually looked at each other in the eye for extended periods of time. Then, when I realized my roaming eyes wasn't something people really did, I attributed it to "shyness". I do find that, in what I'd consider a controlled environment, I can make better eye contact. So on job interviews, I have no issues with making eye contact for longer periods of time. It's social situations and out in public where I struggle.