kitesandtrainsandcats wrote:
ghostprince wrote:
I just can't explain myself when I'm asked "ok but how is what you do any different from
what everybody else does in their heads".
I want to know how you know what is going on in other people's heads.
I don't know. This is why I can't address this problem.
An example: I feel an acquaintance is angry with me.
I have a string of people in my memory claiming/being described by others as "angry". And then I have my own anger, how I feel it inside.
I notice there are contact points between how I usually show anger outwards and how these people behave.
Then a "leap of faith" happens: I've never felt anger, and I'll probably never feel anger, in the situation my acquaintance is living in this case. It makes no sense to me. I just can't put myself in their shoes. I just accept it as a truth of faith that they're feeling "anger", the same anger I feel in completely different occasions - reassured by hundreds of silent voices from the past telling me "yes, the clues coincide".
This is thanks to years and years of observation, and talking about feeling with other people, and growing a bigger and bigger "mental archive of people's behaviors". Also it's because I've slowly given up feeling their situation on my skin.
In a way, I really am a man of faith, and at the same time a real detective. Lol.
Of course it happens that someone is having an experience I lived, and I understand their emotions. I get your sense of abandonment if your SO has broken up with you. I don't really get why you should feel angry if I tell you it's a habit in your group of friends to talk behind people's back. I get it as an act of faith, I take act of it, but I don't understand it.
Sorry this got way longer than expected.