Page 1 of 3 [ 33 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2, 3  Next

firemonkey
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Mar 2015
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,691
Location: Calne,England

29 Oct 2017, 3:13 am

Do you ever feel you have nearly as much difficulty connecting with others online than you do offline ?
I just don't seem to have the knack of engaging with people. Occasionally I'll make a thread that attracts a healthy number of responses. Most of the time though there's a sparseness of responses. As this can happen across forums I can only put it down to me. I don't know how to say anything interesting and worthwhile , and basically post a pile of uninteresting crap.



thewheel
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 1 Apr 2015
Gender: Male
Posts: 150
Location: Kent, England

29 Oct 2017, 3:35 am

If anything it's worse online, there are even fewer prompts to maintain a dialogue and perhaps even greater possibilities for confusion. The only positive is I get the time to say what i'm really thinking instead of just responding.

I prefer talking in person even though i'm still crap at that. Acquaintances have said I come across better in person.


_________________
Diagnosed Aspie.


C2V
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Apr 2015
Posts: 2,666

29 Oct 2017, 3:53 am

firemonkey wrote:
I don't know how to say anything interesting and worthwhile , and basically post a pile of uninteresting crap.

Fishing, much?
And so what if you do, and hundreds of people don't respond to your topics? Quality over quantity. :wink:
I think at times people need a greater attention span online. They actually actively have to read what others have written, instead of just passively having it delivered to them via their ears. So that cuts out some people. There's more effort in maintaining an online connection, perhaps.
Mostly my online interactions follow my offline interactions - brief, utilitarian and perfunctory. I'm asking questions and receiving answers, or other people are asking questions and I am contributing an answer. It's information based rather than anything else, in order to achieve some goal or fulfill some purpose.


_________________
Alexithymia - 147 points.
Low-Verbal.


firemonkey
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Mar 2015
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,691
Location: Calne,England

29 Oct 2017, 4:04 am

What's with the confrontational 'fishing' jibe ?



C2V
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Apr 2015
Posts: 2,666

29 Oct 2017, 4:55 am

^ Is that confrontational? It wasn't intended to be so - just pointing out that the behaviour appears to be there when your topic is read. Like perhaps you are seeking reassurance that you are not uninteresting or incapable of communicating anything worthwhile rather than that actually being a fact. If that is so, there's nothing wrong with that - it would simply be helpful to be clear and understand that this is what you're actually after, in order to better provide what you are seeking.
That might be personal preference in communication styles though, granted. It can frustrate me when people "pussyfoot" around what they're really asking, by making things unclear or indirect, instead of just coming out and saying whatever it is, honestly. I find it hard to interpret their "hints" and this sort of communication always seem mildly manipulative to me.
I'm honestly not flaming you here.


_________________
Alexithymia - 147 points.
Low-Verbal.


Raleigh
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Jul 2014
Age: 125
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 34,585
Location: Out of my mind

29 Oct 2017, 4:59 am

firemonkey wrote:
Do you ever feel you have nearly as much difficulty connecting with others online than you do offline ?
I just don't seem to have the knack of engaging with people. Occasionally I'll make a thread that attracts a healthy number of responses. Most of the time though there's a sparseness of responses. As this can happen across forums I can only put it down to me. I don't know how to say anything interesting and worthwhile , and basically post a pile of uninteresting crap.

I've found a number of your posts interesting and worthwhile.


_________________
It's like I'm sleepwalking


xatrix26
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Oct 2017
Age: 49
Gender: Male
Posts: 614
Location: Canada

29 Oct 2017, 5:14 am

Raleigh wrote:
firemonkey wrote:
Do you ever feel you have nearly as much difficulty connecting with others online than you do offline ?
I just don't seem to have the knack of engaging with people. Occasionally I'll make a thread that attracts a healthy number of responses. Most of the time though there's a sparseness of responses. As this can happen across forums I can only put it down to me. I don't know how to say anything interesting and worthwhile , and basically post a pile of uninteresting crap.

I've found a number of your posts interesting and worthwhile.


I have also found your posts worthwhile Mr. Firemonkey. I think it's important to point out that you are not required to entertain us, but rather, to gain peace of mind through the honesty of your experiences with ASD.

It's also important to point out that while I have also been responded to in a rude manner in these forums, we all need to support each other regardless.

You're all good man!


_________________
*** High Functioning Autism - Asperger's Syndrome ***

ADHD, OCD, and PTSD.

Keep calm and stim away. ;)


MorningSue
Butterfly
Butterfly

Joined: 18 May 2017
Gender: Female
Posts: 17

29 Oct 2017, 5:32 am

One man's pile of crap is another man's fertiliser :)

The world will keep turning if there are people strong enough to keep putting stuff out there, you may never know the people you've sparked an idea in..



firemonkey
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Mar 2015
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,691
Location: Calne,England

29 Oct 2017, 5:47 am

C2V wrote:
^ Is that confrontational? It wasn't intended to be so - just pointing out that the behaviour appears to be there when your topic is read. Like perhaps you are seeking reassurance that you are not uninteresting or incapable of communicating anything worthwhile rather than that actually being a fact. If that is so, there's nothing wrong with that - it would simply be helpful to be clear and understand that this is what you're actually after, in order to better provide what you are seeking.
That might be personal preference in communication styles though, granted. It can frustrate me when people "pussyfoot" around what they're really asking, by making things unclear or indirect, instead of just coming out and saying whatever it is, honestly. I find it hard to interpret their "hints" and this sort of communication always seem mildly manipulative to me.
I'm honestly not flaming you here.


It was just an observation based on years of forum participation. The idea of reassurance never came into it. Forum participants change across forums but the pattern remains the same, ergo it is something to do with me as the constant factor or a general facet of forums.



12am
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

Joined: 29 Oct 2017
Age: 37
Gender: Female
Posts: 6
Location: Wales, UK

29 Oct 2017, 6:35 am

MorningSue wrote:
One man's pile of crap is another man's fertiliser :)


Love the creative turn of phrase there, Morning Sue : )

To add to the dialogue, I think that there's more effort involved in engaging a person online purely because your written words are usually the only ways that they have to relate to you. There's almost a sense of having to be like a newspaper editor, choosing topics that create sensationalism for maximum interaction.

Having said that, in person (and perhaps also online, to an extent), I believe it's generally down to the individual. You will meet some people in life who have a genuine commitment to listening to your unique point of view, as well as others who completely zone out anything that doesn't directly reflect their own viewpoint or outlook.

So, yeah, it's a mixbag whichever way you look at it, I think, but I certainly wouldn't write off every attempt you make to engage people here as a pile of crap.



Temeraire
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Oct 2017
Age: 54
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,520
Location: Wiltshire, U.K.

29 Oct 2017, 6:40 am

firemonkey wrote:
C2V wrote:
^ Is that confrontational? It wasn't intended to be so - just pointing out that the behaviour appears to be there when your topic is read. Like perhaps you are seeking reassurance that you are not uninteresting or incapable of communicating anything worthwhile rather than that actually being a fact. If that is so, there's nothing wrong with that - it would simply be helpful to be clear and understand that this is what you're actually after, in order to better provide what you are seeking.
That might be personal preference in communication styles though, granted. It can frustrate me when people "pussyfoot" around what they're really asking, by making things unclear or indirect, instead of just coming out and saying whatever it is, honestly. I find it hard to interpret their "hints" and this sort of communication always seem mildly manipulative to me.
I'm honestly not flaming you here.


It was just an observation based on years of forum participation. The idea of reassurance never came into it. Forum participants change across forums but the pattern remains the same, ergo it is something to do with me as the constant factor or a general facet of forums.


I find it strange that you blame yourself if your posts do not get much traffic. Have you looked at some of the others on here who have made a perfectly interesting point or question and have few comments.

I wouldn't take it to heart. I have to engage people for a living and I get ignored or pushed aside on here after one or two comments - it is just the way it is.

What you have to say might only be interesting to a few people and of those only a small percentage might be online. Then again, the majority on here may be looking for something else.

I look at it another way - I am flattered if just one person responds to a post. I posted about an obscure kids tv program from the 70's the other day called 'Monkey' and I was chuffed that 2 people remembered and shared my love of it. Perhaps you may expect too much?



firemonkey
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Mar 2015
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,691
Location: Calne,England

29 Oct 2017, 8:27 am

I watched a few episodes of 'Monkey' but never really got into it.



SaveFerris
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 3 Sep 2016
Gender: Male
Posts: 14,762
Location: UK

29 Oct 2017, 10:57 am

Temeraire wrote:


I look at it another way - I am flattered if just one person responds to a post. I posted about an obscure kids tv program from the 70's the other day called 'Monkey' and I was chuffed that 2 people remembered and shared my love of it. Perhaps you may expect too much?


The nature of Monkey was irrepressible! ✌️✌️ ✌️✌️✌️ ☁️


_________________
R Tape loading error, 0:1

Hypocrisy is the greatest luxury. Raise the double standard


Temeraire
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Oct 2017
Age: 54
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,520
Location: Wiltshire, U.K.

29 Oct 2017, 5:17 pm

Ok so Monkey wasn't your cup of tea but I am sure there were other programs or activities you remember around that time. What gave you a reason to live when a child?



kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

30 Oct 2017, 9:31 am

I can't comment on "Monkey"---because I'm a Yank, and I've never even heard about the show.

One of my favorite shows from the 70s-80s was "Barney Miller."

"Sanford and Son" was based on the British "Steptoe and Son."



SaveFerris
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 3 Sep 2016
Gender: Male
Posts: 14,762
Location: UK

30 Oct 2017, 12:38 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
I can't comment on "Monkey"---because I'm a Yank, and I've never even heard about the show.

One of my favorite shows from the 70s-80s was "Barney Miller."

"Sanford and Son" was based on the British "Steptoe and Son."



Haven't seen either of those because I am a Limey. I wonder how much difference the TV shows you watched as a kid shape or influence someone on the spectrum, and if growing up watching certain TV shows ( UK , USA or other ) benefit or hinder you.


_________________
R Tape loading error, 0:1

Hypocrisy is the greatest luxury. Raise the double standard