self injurious behaviour during meltdowns?

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Hi!

I am new to this website. I am a female Aspie in my late 20's. Was diagnosed about 4 years ago.

I am very capable in some senses but in others find life a big challenge.

I particularly struggle with managing frustration. I go from 0 to 90 very quickly and sometimes with no warning. Which causes me to have meltdowns. When this happens I usually become self injurious. I don't want to hurt myself but I get so frustrated I can't control it.

Does anyone else suffer with this and if so,what strategies have you put in place?
Thank you very much!

I sometimes hit myself in frustration.

It happened today, as a matter of fact. I had to go to work---but the cable was screwing up. So I got frustrated, and slap myself on the head.

I found the cause of it pretty quickly, though.....it was because the surge protection was off LOL

Yeah I mostly slap or bang my head.

I'll hit and scratch myself during a meltdown, and sometimes bite myself or ram my head into something. I can usually ram my head into a pillow instead of a hard object. Not sure what, if anything, can be done about the rest - I'm also looking for ideas.

Sometimes I hit myself on the head or bang my elbow against something during a meltdown. I also went through a phase of scratching the backs of my hands.

When I get angry and start Aspie stimming I usually smack my hands together and sometimes I've done it so many times that they've become quite swollen and have bursted blood vessels. Other times hit my fist on the wall, I do this one extremely often and I've broken my right knuckle for my pinky finger doing it too.

Other times I grit my teeth so hard that they start to fracture and chip away, my jaw muscles have become extremely sore this way.

I attempted a suicide back in '94 by using a serrated knife to slit my wrists. I bled out quite a bit but I'm still here. Unfortunately.

These are all the self-injurous stims I do but my complete list of stimming behaviours and actions is far greater than this.

I scratch the back of my hand and sometimes will end up bleeding.

Unrelated to that, I find I seem to have a phantom itch, usually when I'm trying to sleep I'll have spots that seem very itchy but have no reason to be so. I've determined that it's all in my mind, but it still occurs. I put creams on. Sometimes it helps, sometimes it doesn't.


I should go to bed. Group tomorrow. I don't mind it and it gives me a chance to stop by Costco.

Sorry. Babble off.

I bang my head on things. Made a hole in a door doing that yesterday and had a headache for the rest of the day. I hate doing it but can't seem to stop myself.

I do this too, or hit myself, but luckily I'm not as strong as you so the worst damage I've done is a few bruises and grazed knuckles.

Went on a course that was supposed to help with things like this but it relied on catching your feelings before it's too late so the techniques didn't work with sudden "explosions" of feelings.

As far as the meltdowns go, they're excruciatingly painful. I end up crying for about a half an hour to 45 minutes with tears left, right and center and it's not pretty at all. It's bawling, bawling, bawling and more bawling. It's like screaming and crying all the same time. I'm sure it would be pretty painful to watch a grown man to be in that state but it's like I'm 6 years old and I just lost my best friend or something. Everytime.

Afterwards I have a piercing migraine and my eyes are incredibly sore and this pain will continue for about two days. Also I will feel like I've just run 10 marathons in a row because it leaves me completely and totally drained. I'm sure even amongst Autistics this is a fairly extreme meltdown. This happens about once a month. But crying for me is a regular event - I'm pretty unstable that way.

Hit slap bang bite scratch. The usual stuff. When it gets out of control I'm property restrained.

Thank you so much for all the replies!

I relate to a lot of what you are all describing.

I headbutt things (walls,doors,windows,even a sink once). I bite my arms,scratch my eyes,pinch or scratch the back of my hands,grind my teeth,occasionally pull my hair.

This happens on average between once and 4 times a months. Sometimes I can go a month or two with none if I have a calm,non stimulating period of time.

I stim during meltdowns too because it helps bring me back down. I flap my hands,rock back and forth,jump up and down or tap myself. If I am alone,sometimes I'll repeat a sound that I like to hear.

I have bought myself a sensory chewy tube to help when I start feeling stressed. It helps sometimes but I am not always able to do it in time.

I have found that being squeezed really hard helps A LOT but no one seems to have the physical strength to do it hard enough.

This is the one thing that makes me feel the most autistic. I generally cope with a lot of things well but when it comes to this,the diagnosis fits me like a glove.

It's good to feel I am not alone. Sometimes you feel like you're crazy..

That's just what I was thinking. I kept trying to tell doctors I had depression but it only lasts a few hours at a time and it's so bad I just collapse on the floor crying. Now I realise I was describing having meltdowns! Always worry that my husband must think I'm crazy so it's nice to hear about other people having the same / similar experiences to me

You're not crazy and neither are any of us we are simply wired differently! My therapist once told me that Autistics, like us, are both gifted and disabled at the same time.

These actions don't make me feel crazy but they make me feel very Autistic, as you said, and I've come to get used to that fact and I've come to accept it as well.

And when you start reading many of the responses in these forums from all of the different subjects you're going to feel less and less alone. I promise.

I don't exactly injure myself but I keep scratching my eyes, hitting my head with my palms or punching my legs.

It would appear that we are all genuinely in the same boat here and while some of our stimming behaviours and meltdowns may vary they are all part of the same Autistic condition we have. It is just how we express ourselves and deal with emotion.

It is nice to hear that we're not alone isn't it?