How do you deal with people who don't believe you?

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I find a lot of people don't tend to believe me on a lot of things. Particularly health or my sexual orientation. I'm getting sick of it. I often feel gaslighted by them.

If people don't believe you or your condition, then that's their problem. I have ceased to care what people thing about me. Just stick to the truth, and don't concern yourself with whether your believed or not.

Find people who do believe you & try to have as little contact as possible with those who don’t. For those you can’t avoid, i.e. family, try the “gray rock” method:

1) speak in monotone
2) give short matter of fact answers to questions
3) talk about boring/inconsequential subjects (weather)
4) don’t engage with taunts
5) don’t make eye contact
6) don’t give away personal info
7) don’t display interest in gaslighter

Try not to take their behavior personally; it has more to do with them than you. Don’t let the as*holes get you down.

Diagnosed at 37, I've told extremely few people so far, so that I don't have to deal with "non-believers".

So far I've only told my mom, and two close friends. My dad, brother and sisters have no idea. My housemates don't know either. And I'll never say anything at work, unless there's an absolute necessity. Because most people don't understand. Or you have to explain yourself all the time, and you probably don't want to.

If I had to tell someone who I suspect is a bit clueless on that matter, I'd probably give them something to read about Asperger's Syndrome first.

Anyway... I would imagine that if you have a formal diagnosis, people will have to believe you.

I have shared about this with most of my friends and several family members. It has at times been a real challenge. There are those who act interested or receptive, but then never acknowledge it or mention it again, like it's just not something we should talk about. Which is almost like acceptance, but not really. Then there have been a few who just outright disagreed and said so. The worst being a family member who made several sarcastic comments in a restaurant about me being "Aw-tistik!", and then said "the whole thing's a joke!" It was upsetting, even traumatizing, and I felt shamed and exposed and extremely aware that anyone in the place could easily hear him. Later that night, I let him know quite clearly that he could not speak to me that way or even bring up the topic unless he was ready to have a conversation about it.

But then, there's my daughter. She is 21yo, and awesome. When I told her my diagnosis (Asperger's), she said that explained a lot for her about growing up with me. Now, we go into a restaurant and she'll ask me which table feels comfortable and which chair I prefer, and once we sit down, she'll check to be sure that's going to work for me (or is there too much noise, too much cold air, an oversoft seat, etc. ) I feel so incredibly loved when she does this. I have one other friend that does the same. It's so nice not to have to hide.

One other comment about all this. One day, I lined up the names of all my friends and family that know my dx, according to their experience, knowledge and training in areas such as psychology, social work and various disabilities. I was surprised to see a very close association between having a lot of these kinds of background with their acceptance and interest in my dx. The social workers and teachers immediately accepted it. Some with volunteer experience were open but less enthusiastic. And the few who've been very much in opposition had no experience, education or training in these areas at all. Which, overall, I found very encouraging. I realized that the person who said it was all a joke not only knew absolutely nothing about autism, but couldn't even give a weak or out-of-date definition of it - and, it turned out, had no real grasp of what diagnoses are and why they can be useful, or harmful. The folks who understand it, and explore it, tend to see it when it presents itself. Thank God for that.