Do you believe? Autistic Whisperer.....

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SinginCowboy
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20 Feb 2008, 3:25 pm

My ex gf is one. She watched me go through a full on melt down, and she didn't get scared, she just gave me a rubber band, and let me play with it until I calmed down. She is so intuitive about dealing with me, as well as other people on the spectrum. She is a special education teacher who specializes in helping moderate to low functioning autistics. I have 2 friends in that field, and although they are both definitely NT my ex is just so much more passionate about it. She really connects with her kids.



Mum2ASDboy
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20 Feb 2008, 3:28 pm

Labpet, when people mention Temple Grandin all I can think is INSPIRIRATIONAL! I watch a docomentary on her a few months back and WOW. She really opened my eyes. Look at all she acheived to date.
I have taken it upon myself to educate myself to better understand autism as it is not an 'obvious disorder' like say spina bifida.
Autism is so varied. In a msn support group I belong too there is a teenager with NO speech. I am lucky my boy can talk a bit. Yet alot of the time I have to be a mind reader of sorts.



Age1600
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20 Feb 2008, 4:05 pm

SinginCowboy wrote:
My ex gf is one. She watched me go through a full on melt down, and she didn't get scared, she just gave me a rubber band, and let me play with it until I calmed down. She is so intuitive about dealing with me, as well as other people on the spectrum. She is a special education teacher who specializes in helping moderate to low functioning autistics. I have 2 friends in that field, and although they are both definitely NT my ex is just so much more passionate about it. She really connects with her kids.


Your ex gf sounds like my bf now haha, when i first me him, he didnt even know what autism was, now hes like a master at autism, can instantly spot an autie anywhere haha. Every april he even helps out with the autism carnival, and sometimes comes with me to help volunteer at the childrens specialized hospital, and one of the severely autistic boy absolutely loooves him haha. He has dealt with everything imaginable that could come with autism, and still sticks around. I always warn him about the possibilities of having a child with ASD, and he just says hes ready no matter what haha.


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Zamone
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20 Feb 2008, 4:28 pm

My Dad, but that's likely just experience. 3 kids on the Autistic spectrum could do that to you. (Not that he actually knows I'm Aspie, but yeah. He just gets it.)



Averick
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20 Feb 2008, 7:27 pm

About the Jim Carey thing... Jenny McCarthy said that, and she's a twit.

Thanks.



Mum2ASDboy
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20 Feb 2008, 7:55 pm

Averick wrote:
About the Jim Carey thing... Jenny McCarthy said that, and she's a twit.

Thanks.


Slight off topic but I can't stand her!! ! Calling her a twit is very nice of you tho, I can think of much worse :lol:



SeaBright
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20 Feb 2008, 9:41 pm

Autie Whisperers
t
balieve it.
:wink:


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SinginCowboy
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20 Feb 2008, 9:59 pm

Age1600 wrote:
SinginCowboy wrote:
My ex gf is one. She watched me go through a full on melt down, and she didn't get scared, she just gave me a rubber band, and let me play with it until I calmed down. She is so intuitive about dealing with me, as well as other people on the spectrum. She is a special education teacher who specializes in helping moderate to low functioning autistics. I have 2 friends in that field, and although they are both definitely NT my ex is just so much more passionate about it. She really connects with her kids.


Your ex gf sounds like my bf now haha, when i first me him, he didnt even know what autism was, now hes like a master at autism, can instantly spot an autie anywhere haha. Every april he even helps out with the autism carnival, and sometimes comes with me to help volunteer at the childrens specialized hospital, and one of the severely autistic boy absolutely loooves him haha. He has dealt with everything imaginable that could come with autism, and still sticks around. I always warn him about the possibilities of having a child with ASD, and he just says hes ready no matter what haha.


Well, I was just a weirdo when I met her, she told me about aspergers, and she helped me start to understand it. Now, unfortunately the meltdown was caused by the fact that I was having trouble with our LDR, and I dumped her a week later. I was planning to end things that night, but I freaked out. I am really glad we've stayed friends, we dated for a solid 3 weeks(after a year of friendship) and have remained friends for 3 years since. I'm great at friends, bad at anything more.



Averick
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20 Feb 2008, 10:04 pm

Mum2ASDboy wrote:
Averick wrote:
About the Jim Carey thing... Jenny McCarthy said that, and she's a twit.

Thanks.


Slight off topic but I can't stand her!! ! Calling her a twit is very nice of you tho, I can think of much worse :lol:


She is totally pandering to our demographic off her sons ailment just to make a quick buck. She needs to go back to Singled Out and realize the calling of her life; spinsterhood.



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20 Feb 2008, 10:36 pm

2ukenkerl wrote:
I think people like Mum2ASDboy and Smelena(sp?) just love their kids, see the good, and have the intelligence to check things out. It is too easy to assume that someone acting odd is mentally deficient. It is like the idea of talking to yourself. In the 60s-80s it was looked at as indicative of mental problems. TODAY, people are more likely to assume you have a cell phone.


Too funny (re: cell phone). When I first encountered individuals with cell phone ear buds in public, I was looking for their imaginary friend. Off their meds?


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PeterWylie
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18 Dec 2017, 5:29 pm

I think using the concept of an "Autistic Whisperer" is getting things the wrong way round, because it implies that the cause of this barrier between the neurotypical world and the autistic world is in the nature of people with autism, whereas in reality I believe it is quite the opposite.

Neurotypicals have pre-programmed methods of conveying or inferring information about themselves and each other that developed naturally and without their knowledge through their childhood, these social games / cognitive functions are a manifestation of the unconscious mind using the conscious mind like a puppet to exploit surroundings purely for the benefit of the host/genes (all our minds do this, because facing the truth of our intentions causes dissonance/distress, but neurotypicals more so), and it is something that, pre-civilization, was essential to survival, but like many of our evolved characteristics is not required any more, or at least does not need to be.

Because the use of these tools is essentially strategic, it means that when neurotypicals communicate, they do so from behind a mask. This mask hides their own intentions, manipulates and uses the emotions of others, omits/falsifies/bends the truth, and does so in a way that presents itself as an acceptable story to other neurotypicals. The majority of them aren't even aware that they're doing it, so for autistic people (who prefer to be frank and say things as they are, in general) this makes joining in with neurotypical conversations very difficult, and creates this "barrier", not least because neurotypicals will often collectively and subconsciously exclude them due to their inability to play the game.

There are, however, a select few neurotypicals who you would consider "whisperers", who are able to talk easily with autistic people. But this isn't because they understand autistic people better, instead it is because they understand themselves, the functions of their mind and the social dynamics between other neurotypicals better (i.e. they can see through the games that people are playing, and can identify the ways their unconscious mind influences them to play these games). Although this generally is only possible beyond a certain level of inteligence, it isn't just a matter of intelligence. It's also a matter of experience/wisdom, practicing meditation/being self-aware, a personal tendency towards genuine communication and/or preference towards genuine people, lesser insecurities/ a lesser-inflated ego that has less influence on their actions and also (as a result) less of a desire to exclude people.

The jist of what I'm saying is that for the most part autistic people, when they do communicate, do so directly, get their point across easily and truthfully and know why they're making that point. Whereas most neurotypicals (to different degrees), communicate using lies and pretense that they aren't even aware of, with their points hidden in cleverly disguised subtext and social codes that are automatic to them. So it's pretty clear to me that out of autistic people and neurotypicals, if there's one of the two groups that needs to be "whispered" to by the other in order to be able to understand and have a constructive conversation with them, it's the neurotypicals, not us. We're easy to talk to, if you're prepared/able to be direct.

I'm not an academic of any kind and am mostly speaking from my own limited experience of autism (I was only diagnosed AS a few months ago) and the conclusions I've drawn since being introduced to the notion of neurotyipcals/NT behaviour and observing it along with analysing past experiences. So what I say may only apply to people with Asperger's or with higher-functioning autism and I'm sure my psychological analysis could use some work too (as it is again made of personal conclusions, not academically-informed ones). I think my general point stands though, and welcome any responses/disagreements as this is obviously a topic of great interest to me at the moment.



ladyelaine
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18 Dec 2017, 6:42 pm

PeterWylie, you are so right about NT communication. The sensitive NTs are easier to get along with than other NTs. The sensitive NTs definitely see through the games that other NTs play and they are often the victims of NT social games and they know how it feels to be bullied and treated like crap. My best friends are sensitive NTs and they were bullied a lot as kids and they when through rough times. They like me because I'm loyal and I don't play social games.



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18 Dec 2017, 7:40 pm

Welcome to WP, PeterWylie.

And what an insightful introductory post too! When we talk on autism forums about "passing" in order to get along with non-autistic people, I think that we can easily forget that non-autistic people also spend much of their time trying to "pass" too, and just like us, it can be a source of anxiety for them.

Of course, for many autistic people it is far harder to do, and we are likely more self-conscious about doing it, but I find it hard to come up with a simpler explanation for why the behaviour of non-autistic people seems so often inconsistent and dependent upon the social context, even when they are among respected peers.

It is striking that the people that I know who I would call "ASD whisperers" have very little tolerance for other people who "play politics" in order to dominate situations or win acceptance.


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